Falling Colors

Chapter Forty-Two: The Beginning of an End

They say you can't change people and I believe that. You can't. No matter how inspiring, or motivated or dedicated you are: you can't change people. Something could be said by you to make someone want to be different, but you will never be able to change a person. It's the hard truth that I think people have a problem grasping. The world does not revolve around you.

People change themselves. People have to want to change and the only way they can change is by doing it at their own pace and being their own motivation, finding their own inspirations and being dedicated to themselves. They are the reason they want to change. They see someone happy and decide they want to be like that too.

To change is the hardest thing to do. You have to want it so bad and not get discouraged when the results aren't there right away. You have to work and work and work until it becomes natural.

I was working. I was working really hard.

If things were to be better, I had to be better. My dad and Leigh deserved better. They weren't horrible people. They were never horrible to me. They were everything I needed and I was everything they didn't need.

To get better I needed to:

1. Be what I/others need.

2. Work hard.

3. Don't give up. Ever.

Those three things kept floating through my mind, day and night. I had to keep focused. I couldn't give up. Yes, I wanted to give up. Yes, I still felt depressed. Yes, killing myself seemed like a better option than this, but it wasn't. It wasn't going to make me better. It wasn't going to make my family happier. It wasn't going to make the world a better place. Suicide is a virus that spreads fast.

"Odette, do you want to come have some breakfast?" Leigh called from the base of the stairs.

I was in my room, brushing my hair. It was almost to my shoulders now. It felt nice to feel something there, and the curtain to be covering my face again. Putting down my hairbrush, I walked over to the top of the stairs and gave Leigh a nod.

I was working hard and doing my best.

Talking wasn't something I was ready to do yet, I wasn't sure if it would ever be something I'd do again. There was no rush. Baby steps.

"The pancakes are on the table," she said with a smile and walked away, leaving me to follow.

I walked down the stairs slowly, holding onto the banister. I was trying to tell myself it would fine. I didn't need to hide in my room. I could do this. I could sit at the table and listen to Leigh and my dad chat about things happily together and not get angry. Be what others need me to be. Work hard. Don't give up. Ever.

My dad was at the kitchen table sipping from his blue coffee mug. Leigh sat next to him reading the morning paper. I took my seat across from them and looked down at my plate of pancakes. They smelled delicious, and I ate.

Leigh put down the newspaper slowly, and looked over at my plate, and covered her mouth. "Odette, you ate them all."

And I had. It had been well over a year since I'd eaten everything off of my plate. I usually ate just a few bites, but this morning I ate every last bite of pancake and drank my whole glass of juice. My stomach felt overfull, but the pride I was feeling was more. I was making progress.

"Someone has an appetite this morning," my dad said smiling. "Do you want anymore?"

I shook my head, and got up from the table, clearing my spot; another thing I hadn't done in a long time. I usually left my dishes on the table for Leigh or my dad to clear since I couldn't be bothered to help them out in anyway.

I could feel the gazes of Leigh and my dad following me as I left the kitchen to go back to my room.

Baby steps, I thought to myself.

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Thanks so much for reading!  I hope you enjoyed it.  There are 8 chapters left, and I have no idea when the next update will be, but hopefully it won't be like a month long wait like it usually is... 

Anyways: THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR THIS STORY.  Without you guys, I probably would have stopped writing it months ago because it's so hard for me to write and so hard to experience all these emotions that it takes to write this story.  Thank you for believing in this story and giving it a chance. Thank you. Without all of you (silent readers, commenters and voters), I would have given up and I think you're all pretty amazing for that.