Within His Reach

Chapter 21

Trigger Warning (also slight spoiler if you read the trigger)- this chapter contains content that may trigger some due to themes of suicide and severe depression READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED 

BRIAR POV

I don't know the exact amount of time I was kept captive in Theo's bedroom, locked away from everything beyond those 4 walls. I just know that it felt like an eternity. Time is a funny thing, subjective really... though I only realized that now. For instance, how do we measure our days? In the normal world, we would go to bed when the moon dominated the sky and then would wake up as the sun rose. Yet in these last few weeks, months or however long it was, I had no concept of this routine that binds us. When I slept it was not on the sky's terms and who knows how long my sleep lasted once I was under. It could have been hours. It could have been days.

But regardless of how much time I'd spent under Theo's special lock and break routine, he'd determined that I was ready. He was going to take me out of the room tonight.

I'd been pampered and prepared by the usual makeover team, so that I now matched up to Theo's sky high standards of me- his perfect little wife. Or perhaps doll was a more fitting word for what I was. On the surface, I looked stunning- perfect hair, dress and make-up. But as soon as somebody took away the material that covered my body or took a make-up wipe to my face, they'd see me for what I truly was. Broken.

My body was bruised and battered. Theo hadn't wasted a second in making sure that I was thoroughly regretful for ever having disobeyed him. He'd whipped, cut and butchered my body to the extent where I now had scars that would never fade. The lash marks were scattered across my back, overlapping each other since he'd never give me enough time to heal before continuing to punish me. There were bruises that decorated my limbs in a grand colour scheme of dull shades, and my neck looked as if it had been painted due to the amount of bruises, hickeys and bites that were placed upon it. I'd lost a lot of weight too. My ribs jutted out from beneath my pale skin and my face had lost any softness that it had, leaving sharp features that made me feel like a skeleton.

But the worst pain of all was shown through my eyes. They held the memory of all the torment and suffering that I'd been forced through. They would show the world just how tortured my soul was, not just my body.

What surprised me most was my lack of enthusiasm towards leaving my prison. At first I was behaving and obeying Theo so that he'd let me leave but the longer he kept me locked away, the weaker that incentive came. I no longer appreciated my reward- it felt just as dull and lifeless as everything else around me. Maybe that was one silver lining, Theo hadn't caught on to how depressed I felt. He still seemed to be under the impression that I couldn't wait to rejoin him in the house as his wife as opposed to being hidden in here. It made no difference to me how much he enlarged my cage or lengthened my leash. It was all just part of his elaborate illusion to convince me I was lucky. And it had worked for a long while. I'd obeyed and done everything expected of me. I dressed up and smiled like some kind of doll, only rarely stepping out of place.

But I could see everything clearly now.

And I was done.

It had finally occurred to me that this life wasn't worth living any longer. I was never going to escape Theo and his iron hold over me. All he would ever be is a reminder of my family's violent end and the pain bestowed upon me over the last nine years. If I felt this broken and hopeless after less than a decade, how would I possibly survive a lifetime as Mrs Emberson?

The answer was simple.

I couldn't.

That's what tonight was really for. It was an escape. I had been thinking about this over and over again, knowing that I would only have one chance to take my own life. If this failed, Theo would never ever forget it and things would be worse than before.