The Female Sigma - Book One

Chapter 13 - Not your regular she-wolves

C H A P T E R
T H I R T E E N

Not your average she-wolves

I was mistaken. What I did was wrong.

No Summer.

It was fine. You're asking the Moon Goddess to choose a better mate for him. You're protecting him.

The darkness of my room, blended with the moon's rays designed to reflect on my hardwood floor, invited a soothing allure around me. Well, everything was relaxed except my mind. My thoughts were anything from relaxed. During the last hour, I've regretted what I've done more than ten times, and I've been struggling to come up with a million reasons why rejecting him was the right thing to do. And I've finally found the one I'm looking for:

Keeping him linked to you and all your traumas is plain selfish, and you've already been selfish for far too long. It's time to consider others.

I needed to tell my wolf if I was going to get past this rejection thing. Well, I'm sure she felt the link break, so this is simply me making sure she doesn't die as a result of it.

'Autumn, are you there?' I asked as I tore down the barrier that separated us.

'Don't call me Autumn,' she says. She snarled, 'I don't want to be named after a season simply because you are.' I guess her feelings regarding the name I gave her haven't changed since she lost her mate. I despise the name Summer, but I didn't want to be the only one who suffered, so I named my wolf after a season as well, because I'm that kind of girl.' Eirenare is my name.'

'What? No!' As I hurled myself back, I reminded her that is my name.

'No, that's your middle name.' 'And you're not using it right now,' she pointed out. If she were standing right in front of me, I'm sure she'd be grinning. 'Thank you for not shifting that day he asked.'

I realized she was referencing to the day in the backyard with Zane. Autumn always remembered everything, no matter how good I was at blocking her out. 'Thanks for letting me reject him then,' I cynically retorted, oblivious to the fact that I had grown accustomed to the pleasant silence we had built.

'It's cool,' she said flatly, causing my eyes to widen in disbelief. My wolf just claimed it was 'cool' that I just shattered the connection with our putative soulmate.

'We didn't need him anyway,' she said, as if she expected me to inquire as to why she didn't mind. 'He wasn't ready yet, and the two of us can be a handful,' she said. Her statement gave me a good laugh. She was correct; the two of us were quite the package. Instead if it were the other way around, I wouldn't be surprised if we were the ones who were rejected. I exhaled, grateful for her kindness, but I couldn't figure out why she wasn't going insane as other she-wolves do when their bonds are broken.

'How come you're so calm about it? Once the links are broken, other she-wolves would be driving their humans insane,' I speculated.

Season, we're not any she-wolves,' she said, and I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

My eyes became tired, so I stopped struggling and let the darkness engulf me. It was soothing, yet it was simply wrong. I had the sense that you get when you know you don't deserve something but are too weak to say no.

I steered clear of their way after my conversation with my parents. I was furious with them, especially my mother, since she knew I didn't agree with it, and if she hadn't invited Zane and his entourage here, I wouldn't have kissed him or found it so difficult to reject him.

__________

Day thirty-two has arrived. Suspension from school turns out to be a rather quick process once you've gotten used to it. For the past twenty-five days, I have spent eight hours in the gym. I can't believe I actually said those words, but I did. And, to be honest, it was incredible. It may not be entirely true, but I feel strong, perhaps stronger than before.

I had to return to school today, and to be honest, I had forgotten that it would be like starting school all over again. The first day of school, with all of its nerves, fresh pencils, and new students, is great (note the sarcasm).

I dressed in a brief plaid skirt, stockings, boots, and a black cardigan and went downstairs to grab an apple before anyone could wake up.

I didn't hesitate to slip off onto the sports field and observe the view from the bleachers when I arrived at school because the sun had just begun to rise. Surprisingly, there was another individual there who had the same idea as me.
In the faint breeze, her beautiful blonde hair swayed. Almost angelic. Even though I wasn't approaching her, just to the same bleacher, she smiled when she noticed me approaching. Before taking a seat, I grinned. She slid down a few benches and sat next to me in no time, greeting me with a "hello." "My name is Amy," she says.

"Hello, Summer," I said as I extended my hand.

"Summer, it's a pleasure to meet you. By the way, I think you're really awesome for punching up Zane and getting suspended on your first day. That's incredible, "She continued to ramble. When she was finally out of breath, I laughed. "Isn't it true that you turned him down? Some students had learned about it at school. You should ignore their questions."

"So I'm supposed to ignore your questions as well?" I teased.

"No way! I'm not one of them. As long as you don't go and get yourself suspended again, I'm your new bestfriend "she stated so lemnly as as she draped her arm around my shoulders, I chuckled. "On top of that, we both fancy sunrises."

As we watched the last rays of the sun reach the painted sky, I hummed in agreement. It was stunning. I used to like sunsets, but now I love them.

The day flew by quickly than I anticipated. Amy was in most of my classes, which was helpful because she spoke frequently and kept my attention focused on her rather than drifting off into my thoughts. My biology class was the only one she wasn't in, and unfortunately, Zane was in that class.  I arrived late for that lesson, and there was just one seat available. The seat is directly in front of Zane's. I hurried over to the desk and sat down, keeping my head down. Mr William, the old cranky biology teacher, sarcastically observed as I took my seat, "Wonderful of you to finally join us for the semester Ms Cunningham."

"Please, Mr William, don't go through the formalities. Summer is good "I said cynically. I'd had my share of obnoxious teachers, and he was no different. He re-adjusted his glasses and resumed his lesson. I was agitatedly drumming my fingers along the surface as each second passed on the clock with five minutes left.