The Female Sigma - Book One

Chapter 15 - Late night confessions

C H A P T E R
F I F T E E N

Late night Confessions

I was on my way to a local 24-hour diner around 7:00 p.m. on a Friday night. As I strolled into town, the cool air blew my long locks over my shoulders. Amy had been away for two days, and I couldn't bear it any longer, so I texted her and asked her to meet with me so I could explain everything.

I wanted to change, and the only way I could do that was to learn to manage my emotions and share them with others (besides my many psychologists). Amy Hartford is my solution to this. Is she someone I'm using? Depending on how you look at it, yes rather than no. By discussing my feelings with her, I am able to develop a greater understanding of them and, as a result, I am able to help her in feeling less guilty. It's a fifty-fifty gamble.

Her blond hair swung in the warm diner breeze as she sat across from me, nibbling on the strawberry ice cream in front of her. While we both ate, the silence was soothing, but now it was just her eating and me fumbling with my fingers. I sighed before starting over.

"I hate being close to people because they always leave."

Amy smiled. "Summer, you won't be able to get rid of me. You should know it right now, and you should remember it for the rest of your life, you foolish mortal. Whatever has transpired in the past has transpired. We can't change it, and forgetting it can be difficult at times, but we grow and learn from it. So, I'm not sure about you, but I wouldn't change anything about my past."

I didn't realize I was crying until tears landed on my hands in front of me. I'm supposed to be sitting here using Amy to make me feel better about myself, but instead she's helping me feel better without me having to tell her my entire life story.

I laughed, rubbing my eyes and cheeks to remove the tear traces, "You should be a psychologist or therapist or something." And I was serious. My previous psychologists and therapists were paid substantial sums of money to listen to me vent about my past in order to make me feel better, and she did it without ever hearing the scenario. That, in my opinion, is about the same as talented.

Amy's laughter was all it took to alleviate the mood around us, and it was with that laugh that we forgot about the events of the previous days and fixated on the ice cream in front of us.

______

I had dinner with my parents and Tyler tonight. Initially, I planned to order takeaway, but someone felt compelled to invite me to supper at my home.

"Hi." As I sat in the unoccupied seat next to her, she greeted me.

"Hello, Jasmine," I said. I smiled and nodded to my parents and brother, who were seated opposite from me. My mother continued to avoid eye contact with me, and it irritated me that she still believed I was to blame although she was the one who felt compelled to interfere in my relationship and make agreements based on it.

"Luna said I could come to supper tonight, and she promised no cheesecake this time." Jasmine stated it to me with a tiny grin. When I remembered the times when Jasmine wasn't invited to supper and would sneak into the kitchen for leftovers, my rage grew even stronger.

"You will be here every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner," I spoke loudly enough for my parents and the servants to hear. "If someone tells you otherwise, you will report them to me immediately."

Except for the few joke Jasmine shared with me in secret, we ate in silence. When dessert arrived, my father cleared his throat and everyone's attention was drawn to him.

"How have you been doing, Summer?" he inquired abruptly. I could see how things were going to get out of hand. I'd offer a sincere response, and my mother would make some sarcastic remark, which Tyler would either relate to or comment on, and we'd end up in a major fight, with me going out with Jasmine. So, instead of responding to him, I addressed a question I'd been meaning to ask since I first met Amy.

"Do you know of Amy Hartford?"

My parents looked at me, and for the first time that evening, my mother and I locked gazes. "Yes. She is the beta's daughter. To put it another way, our future beta "she responded with a nod. "Can you tell me why you're asking?"

"There's no rationale for it. As she put it, she had just announced herself my "new bestfriend." I considered her to be intriguing in some sense."

"And? Do you find her appealing in any way? "Tyler questioned as he sat behind his plate.

"I suppose so. Because she's a potential Beta, she's a worthy foe. If she wants to be my 'new bestfriend,'" I said, using air quotes to emphasis the bestfriend part, "she'll have to learn how to be trustworthy, and by that I mean learning to follow her own rules rather than my parents," I said looking in their direction, "because a Beta is known to be the second most dominant to the Alpha. Yes, she is powerful, but I would be concerned if she were a Beta when I am the Alpha." I murmured, unable to stop the words from escaping my lips. Summer, what are you saying?

Except for Tyler, everyone at the table had surprised and astonished expressions on their faces. His face was a mask of dread and rage. "You? Alpha?" he sarcastically asked.

"Sorry. It was a slip of the tongue. It isn't my intention."

"No, don't tell a fib. It was always your intention. You expected to leave the pack for three years and then return to criticize us, thinking you'd be our next Alpha! You're completely wrong. You lack the necessary abilities that an Alpha should possess. You're not in the least bit domineering. As if you think you're superior than Amy, you criticize her. If anything, she is far superior to you in terms of strength and ability "He screamed fiercely. My parents' surprised reactions indicated that they had not expected this. It's strange how things progressed from confronting
my parents for ordering Amy to be my school friend in order for me to receive some long-term support. It's interesting how whenever something new happens in my life, I immediately think of my mother since I know she had something to do with it.

As I stared at Tyler, who had just finished his diatribe on a hundred reasons why I don't deserve the title of Alpha or why I shouldn't criticize Amy, I let out a tired laugh. I suppose if I was still the same naive girl who had no control over her traumas and emotions, I'd be crying right now and running off into the forest, but sadly for them, I'm past that stage. I don't feel as if I'm carrying as much weight after Amy's words. I don't care if this emotion is fleeting or forever. I'm going to make full use of it.

I stood up and leaned over the table, shrugging. "It was just a slip of the tongue, Ty. After Skye's passing, I never wanted anything to do with this pack, and I still don't. So, please don't be intimidated by my presence; I tell you that I am not a threat to your future position as Alpha. I would have seized the role of Alpha from my father a long time ago if I actually wanted to be Alpha. Keep in mind that I'll never be the Alpha of a pack like this, and I didn't expect you to be either, but I guess I was wrong once again."

Before retiring to my room, I pushed my chair in and said that my dessert should be offered to Jasmine.

I sank against the door of my room as soon as it closed. The anguish in my heart was palpable, and tears threatened to flow, yet none came.

**********
Author's note
Hiya!
I'll be writing the book in the third-person perspective from now on, be it a minor or major change (depending on how you look at it). It just gives it a lot more distinct feel to me.