Despite the Pain

Chapter 15

Albion

"You're not doing as badly as you think you are," Dawn said, her voice entirely too patient. I leaned forward against the table, rubbing my hands over my face and combing my fingers back into my hair.

We sat on the floor in my living room on opposite sides of the coffee table. Our English textbooks were open on the table between us, with Dawn's notes from class covering the rest of the table.

"I'm n-never going to g-get this," I stared down at the page in front of me, the notebook beside it. We were meant to be writing a two page paper on the historical context of some essay on the state of the government before our president came to power. Even though Miss Jones had pulled me aside to let me know I only needed to turn in one page since writing was so difficult for me, I was having a hard time piecing together enough to say to even do that. Every time I picked up my pencil my hand started to shake. I didn't even recognize my own handwriting.

"Do you want me to read it for you again?" Dawn offered, flipping back to the essay in her own textbook. She had already read the passage out loud to me three times, and we'd talked over it. Then Dawn had proceeded to write out two and a half pages in her tiny, neat handwriting while I struggled to string more than two sentences together. I sighed and shook my head, rubbing my hand over the bare patch of skin at the back of my head. It still itched, though the scab was finally completely gone, and I had to constantly remind myself not to pick at the scar. "Just read mine and rephrase it, she's not even going to care. It's not like there's a lot to interpret."

Dawn held her paper out to me and I took it, laying it on top of my open book. I pulled my hat back on to try and keep myself from scratching as I read.

Dawn all but dictated my essay to me before all was said and done, though she made sure I understood the concepts behind what I was writing. Our teacher had strongly suggested there would be a test of some kind on the material without outright telling us. By the time we had finished my mind felt like static. I dropped my head back against the couch as Dawn moved to sit beside me.

"You okay?" she asked as she leaned against me. I nodded, smiling to myself when I felt her lips on my neck and her head on my shoulder. I truly was okay, though it felt strange to be able to say so. I slipped my arm around her waist and turned my head just enough to rest my cheek against her hair.

The moment didn't last long. Over the past few weeks what had once been a slight flutter in the muscles around my eye had turned into a flat out twitch, and it was getting impossible to keep ignoring. I shifted away from her as it began, and rubbed my hand hard against the side of my face, trying to get it to stop. Dawn turned to look at me, planting a soft kiss on my cheek before reaching toward the table and closing my textbook.

"I think we're done with all of that for today," she said. I smirked a little, trying to blink the spots of color out of my vision that had appeared after I stopped rubbing my eye. Even those spots couldn't take my mind off of the feel of her besides me, which was something I would never believe as real.

"Good," I said. There was no way I'd be able to focus on another minute of any of it. Dawn kissed me, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling against her mouth. That was something I would definitely still be able to focus on. As she pulled back I frowned, lifting my chin and inhaling through my nose. "Do you smell that?"

It was the same smell that sometimes filled the bakery kitchen when one of us accidentally bumped the damper lever by the oven chimneys, though not nearly as strong. I wondered if Ryan had overfilled one of the ovens. It wouldn't be the first time.

"I don't smell anything," Dawn said. The spots got a little worse and then Dawn's hand was on my cheek. She was close enough to me to nearly be in my lap--though I'm not sure how she got there--her face etched with worry. "Albion? Are you okay?"