Despite the Pain

Chapter 27

Albion

It took a few days before I felt like I was doing anything more than drifting through a haze of exhaustion. I didn't realize just how tired walking that much would have left me. It was only sheer stubbornness that kept me from getting back in the wheelchair to get to school the next day. I slept through my afternoons, waking only when Dad checked on me and brought me food and my medications, or when Dawn came in after her work was finished.

She curled up in bed with me, kissing me and letting me wrap my arms around her before drifting off again. Exhaustion brought on tears I couldn't control, and more than once I woke up to Dawn wiping them from my face and rubbing my back. I barely had it in me to mumble an apology before the feel of her hand on my back lulled me back to sleep. I hated waking up to find her gone.

I found my mind going blank on more than one occasion, coming back into awareness to find concerned eyes on me. After two episodes of that Dad hauled me back to Dr. Wilson. It wasn't quite the same as what had already had been happening, he explained, but he assured both me and Dad that it was just a different sort of seizure, and there was really nothing to worry about. My medication was doubled, and with it, the fog in my head that was my constant companion on the days I felt most exhausted.

I spent gym class sitting on the bleachers with a book I couldn't bring myself to focus on and trying to ignore the looks being cast in my direction. My eyes kept drifting toward Dawn. I had spent so much time watching her from afar, thinking that I would never have any chance at really knowing her. It felt strange when she caught my eye and smiled, after so many years of looking away the minute she glanced toward me.

"Hey, shortbread," Miles dropped down on the bleachers beside me hard enough to make me jump. The tone in his voice made my skin crawl.

"What d-do you want?" I muttered, glancing at him just long enough to confirm the leering grin on his face.

"I was just wondering if you were even going to try to be less pathetic," he said. "Or, you know, sit around and soak up the pity for the rest of your life?"

"Sh-shut up," I hissed under my breath. My entire body tensed in the effort to keep myself angled away from him. Dawn paused and looked over at me, frowning as soon as she caught sight of Miles. I shook my head as subtly as I could.

"Although, I guess when you stop you're going to lose the pity fucking out of your slut over there, aren't you?" Miles jeered. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, my hands balling into fists in my lap. "Hey, when you two play doctor does sh-"

"Stop," I snapped, whipping my head toward him. "Just l-" I cut myself off, the word catching in my throat. Miles snorted, holding back laughter. "Leave m-me--alone."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he held his hands up, that stupid smirk still on his face. "I mean if you want to settle for one of that Dawson asshole's motel whores that's one less Bryson tainting the gene pool. Even his sloppy seconds are better than nothing."

"D-don't fucking t-t-talk--about her like that," I said, trying not to sag under the embarrassment of my stupid stutter. Miles' grin widened.

"Oh, I'm s-s-s-sorry. D-d-d-did I hurt your f-f-feelings?" he cackled.

"You're an asshole," I squeezed out, my jaw tightening.

"Miller," the teacher snapped. "Get your ass back out here."

"Later, retard," Miles shoved my shoulder as he got up from the bleachers and jogged back out onto the gym floor.

I rubbed my hand over my eyes, trying to hide the tears I felt rising. I was long used to hearing it about me, and what Adrian had said to me really did soften the blow. Knowing Miles had lost his backup made it that much harder to take him seriously. Hearing him say anything about Dawn, though, and knowing I was still useless to stand up for her, made me feel like garbage.