Afterglow- Steve Rogers

Part 11

I bent down tying up my shoes as Steve finished getting ready, today was the day of Tony's funeral. It has been 2 months since the battle and Steve has been catching up on lost time with me. I don't think we've spent a moment apart since the battle. He's even been coming with me to visit Aunt May.

Well May insists on is, she absolutely adores Steve. It's been good to see Peter again after two years on the run he's gotten a little taller but he's still the same. He told me he has a crush on this girl MJ at school which is adorable. He's been struggling I can tell but he's trying to put on a brave face.

"Fuck" I heard shout from the bedroom followed by a loud thump.

The loud noise taking me by surprise causing me to jump slightly. I walked over to the door and gave it a light knock before opening our bedroom door.

"Steve?" I said softly.

Steve was stood by the dresser his arms over the top and his head resting on it. He looked down at the ground, strands of damp blonde hair covering his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

Steve lifted his head up to look at me, his eyes were puffy and red.

I let out a sigh and walked over to Steve pulling him into a hug.

"It's all my fault" Steve sobbed into my shoulder.

I ran my hand up and down Steve's back, up and down the black suit jacket he was wearing.

"It's not your fault Steve" I said softly.

I ran my hand up his back resting on the back of his head, my fingers threading into his head.

"I could've done more" Steve sniffled.

"You did everything Steve, it was Tony's choice. You did enough Steve, more than enough" I assured him.

"Tony should've lived" Steve choked out.

"He should have Steve, but it's not your fault love" I said softly.

Steve stayed silent and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me against him. His head still resting on my shoulder as he buried his face into the crook of my neck.

After a few minutes I spoke again.

"We've got to head to the funeral now" I said.

Steve nodded and took a step back, I reached up wiping away his tears with my thumb. Steve offered me a weak smile.

Steve cleared his throat before he spoke.

"I just need to do my tie then we can go" Steve said softly.

"Let me" I said.

Steve nodded and I took a step forward minimizing our gap as I reached my hands up taking the black tie which was draped around his neck.

I tied his tie and ran my hands down his chest tidying up his jacket.

"Thank you" Steve said softly.

I ran my hands down interlocking our hands.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

Steve nodded and followed me outside, he opened the passenger door for me before getting into the drivers seat. Such a gentleman.

Steve closed the car door and let out a sigh his hands gripping the steering wheel.

"Hey" I said softly.

I reached over placing my hand ontop of his.

"I don't know if I can do this" Steve sighed.

"Say goodbye?" I asked.

"I- I feel like it's my fault. I don't think Tony would want me there anyways" Steve said.

I shook my head at the blonde.

"Steve that's utter bullshit, Tony would want you there so does everyone else" I assured him.

My thumb traced over his knuckles which had begun to whiten.

"What so I can be everyones emotional support like always, I'm always there for others but no one is ever there for me" Steve said bitterly.

I scoffed.

"What about me huh" I huffed.

"You weren't there for 5 years and without you I had no one nobody! I spent all my time checking up on others but never once did anyone check up on me" Steve shouted.

"Because you don't tell people Steve" I said calmly.

Steve's jaw clenched slightly and he shook his head.

"What it's true Steve admit it you have trouble sharing your feelings" I said.

Steve scoffed rolled his eyes.

"That's not true" Steve said.

"You close yourself off every time you hurt Steve, yes people should've checked on you but they were struggling too" I said.

"Whatever" Steve huffed.

"Don't get shitty with me Steve" I sighed.

"You know your the reason Tony is dead" Steve said.

I froze at Steve's word. Steve realized what he said and his eyes widened at the realization of what he had said. I could physically feel my heart hurt.

"You know that's not true" I said my voice shaky.

"No, no it is true Tony only brought everyone back because I wanted you back" Steve said.

"So what you wished you didn't bring me back" I shouted.

"I never said that" Steve shouted his voice full of pain.

"But you insinuated it Steve and you believe that I'm at fault for Tony's death" I scoffed.

I held the tears back which were threatening to fall a mixture of emotions hitting me at once none of them good. Anger, sadness, betrayal.

Steve opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the words.

"I'm getting May to take me to the funeral" I said angrily.

I unbuckled my seatbelt hastily the buckoe flying back and slamming against the seat.

"Y/n wait-" Steve begun.

I quickly cut him off.

"No Steve you've made it pretty clear how you feel" I shouted stepping out of the car.

I slammed the car door and Steve looked at me with regret. I bit my lip and fought off the feeling to jump in and hear him out but then again it's his fault. He should be the one to apologize. I turned my back and pulled my phone out of my pocket to call May.

I heard the car drive away and I let out a quite sob.

After a few rings May picked up.

"Hey May, can you pick me up?" I asked.