Afterglow- Steve Rogers

Part 12

I stood next to Peter facing out at the lake, the sun had begun to lower underneath the horizon. I had my arm draped over my brother.

"Aren't you going to go to Steve?" My brother whispered.

I shook my head.

"No" I replied.

Peter nodded his head and didn't speak anymore. Pepper came out holding one of Tony's arc reactors out infront of her. The blue metal reflecting the sunlight.

Peter let out a shaky breath and I ran my hand up and down his arm. He rested his head on my shoulder and I could feel tears roll down his cheek and hit my shoulder.

Steve stood infront of us, his stance tired. He watched Pepper walk down towards the bank of the lake. His hands stuffed into his pockets.

Steve turned around to face me for a split second, his eyes were watery and red. I desperately wanted to go and comfort him but I didn't. I held my brother tighter as he sobbed silently.

Pepper placed Tony's reactor which was situated on a bed flowers onto the lake. It slowly floating away on the water.

"I'm ok" Peter sniffled pushing me away.

I nodded and pulled away, Peter straightening his posture and wiping his tears in an attempt to hide his emotions. Everyone could see through the facade he was attempting to put up.

After a while everyone began to head inside, it growing dark outside. Steve still outside. His hands in his pockets looking out at the lake.

I watched from inside the Stark cabin at him as he sat down on the bench overlooking the lake.

"Just go out and talk to him" Sam said nudging my side.

"I'm pissed at him" I murmured not removing my gaze from him.

"Do you want to be pissed at him forever?" Sam asked.

I looked over at Sam and shook my head.

"Go talk to him then, and if he doesn't apologize then I'm always here as your rebound" Sam said.

"Oh in your dreams Wilson" I said smacking his stoumach lightly.

Sam gasped and grabbed his chest in feign hurt causing me to roll my eyes.

"Go" Sam chuckled.

I nodded and took in a deep breath heading outside, the cool wind hitting me as soon as I stepped out the door. The door shut behind me and Steve's head swiveled to look at me.

I headed over to him Steve's eyes transfixed on me.

"Hey" Steve said weakly.

"Hey" I replied back.

I sat down next to Steve on the wooden bench, I looked down at my lap. I began to fidget, picking at the skin surrounding my nails as I waited for Steve to talk.

"Y/n I'm so sorry" Steve finally spoke.

I looked up at him and Steve was crying. I felt bad for him, I shouldn't though it was his fault his.

"I didn't mean anything I said" Steve sighed.

"Then why did you say it?" I asked my voice quite.

"I feel an excruciating amount of pain because they're gone but I would do it again. I would sacrifice them all again for you. I would trade anyones life just so I would be able to hold you, to kiss you, to have you. And I hate it, so I lied to myself and to you because it's not as selfish as the truth, I'm Captain America I'm not meant to be selfish, I can't be selfish" Steve said with a sob.

I could tell he was telling the truth, I was shocked but then again I would do the same. I would burn the whole world for Steve Rogers. I would make him happy no matter what the consequences. The amount of love we have for eachother is terrifying. It's scary to love someone so much that it physically pains you to see them sad.

I moved closer to Steve resting my head on his shoulder.

"Steve, you don't need to lie" I sighed.

Steve picked up my hand holding it in his, his thumb caressing my knuckles.

"I feel disgusted in myself for feeling selfish" Steve muttered.

"Steve you cannot feel guilty for wanting something, your whole life you've spent fighting for everyone else but yourself out of everyone in this world you deserve just to be a little bit selfish" I told him.

Steve gave me a nod.

"I really miss Tony, I regret not spending enough time with him" Steve sighed.

I let out a sigh and brought Steve into a hug his head resting on my chest, his arms wrapping around my waist.

"Can we just go home?" Steve asked.

"Of course" I replied.

Steve nodded and stood up.

"Just never lie to me again Rogers, because I will kill you" I said pointing a threatening figure at him.

Steve chuckled and shook his head.

"Oh I know what your capable of, and never again. I promise" Steve said.

He extended his hand for me to take, helping me up. We went around saying goodbye to the people still at the cabin before leaving.

As we left the house Steve turned down to look at me.

"Tell me that your still mine?" Steve asked repeating the question I had asked him.

"Of course my love, I never wasn't yours" I replied back to Steve.

"Sorry that I hurt you, I didn't want to do that to you" Steve sighed.

"It's ok, just don't go" I said reaching up and placing my hand on Steve's cheek.

"Even when I lose my mind, will you stick by myside because I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you again. I love you more than anything Y/n and I'm sorry for fucking up" Steve said.

"Your all that I want Steven, always and forever ok aslong as you promise the same" I replied.

Steve smiled in content and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Let's go home" He sighed.