My Biggest Mistake (DreamSMP)

The Letter

Yes, I'm immortal, but I still feel the growing cramp in my muscles after walking, running and fighting for the past sixteen hours.

I still feel the growing emptiness, spreading from my neck, through my heart and straight into my guts.

I still feel the hopelessness filling my head, making me unable to think straight.

I still feel the intense hatred towards myself every time I look at Tommy, who hasn't left his bed all this time.

It's been twelve days.

I have looked everywhere at least twice, I don't know what else to do.

Phil has been staying in the castle. He's been taking care of Tommy and Tubbo and making sure Niki stays safe. Phil and Niki have contacted every single person we know and asked them if they know where Wilbur is, but no one has seen him.

I haven't seen Quackity all this time and neither have any citizens in L'Manburg. The Badgers are still patrolling and receiving orders from someone, but no one knows where Quackity is. The problem is that he could be anywhere- and anyone.

I'm walking back to the castle, where Phil, Niki and Tubbo are probably just done with dinner now. I'm not sure if Tommy ate, it depends on his mood.

As I open the door, I see Niki walk up the stairs, followed by Tubbo holding a plate of food. He's a good friend to Tommy and I'm certain they'll have a lot of fun together later, as soon as Tommy is ready to get out of his bed.

I walk into the kitchen where Phil is sitting with his head in his hands.

'Nothing.'

Phil looks up at me with wide eyes but lowers his head right after.

'Do you-' He swallows, I know what he's trying to say. 'Do you think he's dead?'

I sit down in the chair in front of him. 'No, if Quackity's goal is to get rid of the powers of everyone he'll keep him alive. Unfortunately, I know him as someone who's very unpredictable, so there's no way of knowing anything for sure.'

Phil stands up and takes my dinner off the stove. 'Tommy's panic attacks are getting worse. Niki has decided to stay here for as long as it's necessary. That way she'll be able to take better care of him.'

I nod as Phil puts my dinner in front of me. To be honest, I'm not in the mood to eat. I haven't been in these past twelve days, but I know if I stop eating I'll only make Phil's worries worse.

'I don't know how to help Tommy.' Phil is staring at his hands, he's been looking more tired by the day. Well, haven't we all. 'I want to help him so bad, but every time I look at him I have no idea what to say.'

I've only rarely seen Phil so helpless, he's always been the one to come up with ideas and I've always been the one to follow his every step. But lately, that has changed, I have the feeling Phil is getting tired. Not physically, but tired of living.

After all, he's been on this damned planet for about six hundred years. I also notice how draining it is and I've only been here for two hundred years, in which I always had Phil by my side. I can't imagine living for so long without anyone who will stay with you forever.

'I don't know how to help him either, but-'

A knock on the door makes the hair in my neck stand up and I take out my sword instantly.

I walk towards the door as Phil blocks the staircase. We thought that if Quackity ever becomes invisible, it'd be best that we block every entrance, so he can't sneak past us.