How can I forget? | BILLIE EILISH

𝒩𝒾𝓃𝑒.

Billie's Pov-

I hated sitting around at meetings for hours. Like bro, I know what I want, and I can just as easily send my ideas to you. You just need to execute it right. If you don't, we're gonna have a problem.

And missing Jess didn't help either. I was so clingy towards her, and in return, it seemed like she shied away from me more every time. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Well, I don't think I was.

I know she was going through a lot. Her dad died, she had no one else that could've taken care of Adelaide, and I'm sure living in that house, alone with herself, didn't make matters any better.

"You want it yellow right? And we can almost base an outfit off of the color scheme." Laura asked. I broke my focus back into reality and nodded my head.

"Yeah, I like the yellow idea, but it's light yellow. Most of the songs are light colors, but songs like Oxy and I didn't change my number are dark, dark reddish colors," I explained. Laura nodded her head and wrote something down in her notebook.

"I think we can work with that," Laura spoke contently.

"So we have, outfit, colors, and some rooms. What about the entrance? Did you want a car or something there? And the venue is beautiful, you'll see it a few days prior, if that's okay with you," My manager, Danny, inquired.

"Yeah, that's chill, are we done here?" I asked dully. My mom shot me a look of 'really Billie? They're trying to get something you want to be planned and you sound ungrateful for it all,' making me change my wording up. "I mean thank you guys for this, all of it, thank you, I'm just tired, bro," I said lazily.

My managers and team spread a few laughs around. "I think that's all, Billie, you're free to go home and sleep your life away, well...kinda," Danny joked.

My mom and I left the large building. I drove her home and headed back to my place. Empty and quiet, much like it always was. It's Saturday. Why the fuck am I not partying? I don't want to be around a lot of people, I wanna be with her. We could have our own personal party.

To: Jessie<3

Me: Party, my place, 1 hour. You down?

Jess: Not a party person right now, next time?

Me: Me and you, that's all, no one else.

Jess: So me and you? That's not a party, that's a snooze fest honestly

I laughed at Jess's text. I hated her so much. (In the best ways possible)

Me: Shut the hell up, J. Get your ass over here.

Jess: You said an hour from now, I will come when it's time. You have to decorate and have food, otherwise, it's gonna be an actual snooze fest.

Again, I laughed at her message and left it responseless.

This bitch is about to make me spend my hard-earned money on a 'party' that she wasn't even going to come to.

* * * *

After a decent amount of time was wasted, the house had a few banners hung up around the arches or the tv stand. A few other things were there too, but I wasn't about to completely change my house for her. I loved her but come on now.

I had picked up a few different vegan snacks to have for us too.

Is it weird that I was literally throwing a party for this girl, who I was in love with, that I wasn't sure if she loved me back, who also had a rocky past with me? I feel like it might be...