An Angel Named Niall

Chapter 20

I had the same dream last night. Everyone kept raising their voices. They even added more horrible things. I thought I would wake up faster but I didn't. I was shivering, sweating, frightened. Nightmares about monsters after me never scared me but these do. I guess because it was all so real.

I was so lost. I was beginning to believe those words. Putting aside the fact that my mom was yelling at me, Niall's words really stung. They revolved in my mind as I sat on my bed. I got chills. I didn't want this to be happening anymore. 

I went into the showers and just stood under the water. I stood there as if the water that rushed down my body washed off all of the bad. As if it washed all my pain away. The heat of the water began burning my skin and I didn't care. For a moment I liked the pain it caused. 

I rubbed my stomach, thinking of what could've been growing in there. I punched the wall at the thought of everything. 

I got out and the vapor took ahold of the whole bathroom. The window shaded and I quickly passed my hand to clear it. I looked at myself and wondered where did this all go wrong?

Grandma came in out of nowhere and I quickly grabbed my robe and shielded my body. 

"Can't you knock?"

"Sorry, I brought you these warm towels. I though you'd might use these right out of the drier," she said with the most sweetest smile. She smiled at me as if nothing was wrong. Like if I wasn't making her go through hell. As if it was all suddenly okay. 

I grabbed the towel and she left, closing the door. 

I put the towel to my face and rested it on it. The warmth and smell filled me with happiness, a rare occurence to me. I smiled.

Once I was out of the showers, I went into my laptop and the first thing that popped up was Niall. I had remembered I put a picture of him in it. I hadn't used my laptop for days and there he was. 

I played the song 'Moments' from youtube. I stared at the picture of him as if he were going to turn around and smile at me. For a moment, I was expecting it. 

I sighed at the thought that a good person was so close to being a part of my life. "It's for the best," I said outloud. As soon as the song ended, I closed my laptop. 

I went downstairs to grab a glass of milk.

"You're not having breakfast?" grandma asked. For some reason she mostly spent her time in the kitchen. 

"No. I don't have much of an appetite."

"You need to eat." I just shrugged. "Have you been sleeping well? You have bags and you look pale."

"It must be cause of the whole miscarriage thing," I said avoiding her eyes. I couldn't look at her when bringing up that topic.  It went quiet and all you could hear were the gulpings of me drinking the milk. 

"What happenend to that boy, Niall?" I nearly spilled the milk back into the cup. 

"Uh, he's back home." 

"When wil he be back? He loved my cookies very much."

"Uh, I don't really know." 

I hated that Niall had stuck onto my grandma. Of course she thought he was a good kid. My grandma needed to forget him too. 

And it went quiet again. 

"So school today?" Grandma asked. I couldn't believe she was still on about the school thing. After all this that has happened, she still thought I was going to school. I was horrible.