Love Me Tender (A Kaimelia - Kai Bartley/Amelia Shepherd - fanfiction)

Part 14

The call with Tom was easier than I thought it would be. He was obviously surprised and in disbelief until I sent him the scans. And just as I thought, he also felt guilty about it, but I made it clear that I wasn't blaming him. We agreed to meet in Minnesota as soon as I was back on Monday and hopefully do the surgery the following day.

I did remember how I'd been certain something was still wrong after my initial surgery and wondered if maybe that was foreshadowing. Or I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and anxious about the whole situation.

Doesn't matter now. I currently have a new situation to be anxious about.

Link is shuffling around the penthouse, gathering up all of Scouts favorite toys that he refuses to part with and I'm sitting on the couch with my son in my lap, thinking about when I'll be able to see him again.

"Okay, this should be all. Stuffy and Rag and Mousey and.. oh wait, where's the bear.." he starts moving around again before I stop him with a wave of my hand.

"Calm down, he's holding it," I smirk involuntarily. Link giving Scout's silly toys names is another example of how much better equipped he is to do this parenting thing. But I'm trying my best and Scout seems to love me regardless of my flaws.

"Oh, right," Link comes to sit next to me now, placing the bag at my feet. "So you're flying back Monday morning?" he confirms.

It's Tuesday now and I've planned to spend a few extra days here this time, just so I can get ahead with work and spend some time with Scout as well.

"Yes, I.. have to be back by then," I nod. Scout starts getting restless in my lap and so I let him roam around the floor, watching as he gets lost in his own little fictional world, where bear is apparently a main character.

"And you'll be another three days?" he asks the dreaded question then and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Actually.. There's something I have to talk to you about," I turn to face him. This situation is made slightly easier by the fact that he wasn't around for the first surgery. So I can downplay it without him realizing, hopefully.

"Okay, this sounds bad already," Link says, his face depicting annoyance more than worry. He probably thinks that I'm choosing to stay away longer this time - something that he already blames me for a lot.

"Do you remember how I told you that I had a brain tumor removed?" I ask, biting my lip. He will for sure figure it out now and I'm not good at delivering bad news.

"Uh, yes. About a year or so before I came to Grey Sloan, right?" he nods, the look on his face now confused more than anything.

"Right, well. It has regrown," I break the news. "Partly," I add quickly, as if that makes it any better. Physically, yes. It has less impact on my behavior and personality, but a tumor is a tumor and brain surgery is still a big deal.

"But it's not malignant, is it?" Link asks, grabbing my hand immediately. I know he just wants to comfort me, but I've grown so distant from him and from my feelings towards him that it just feels wrong. Still, I let him have this moment. It's not about me right now.

"No, still benign. But Tom Koracick is flying to Minnesota next week to remove it," I explain.

There's a moment of silence, where Link takes everything in and then it hits him and I look away, not wanting to be here for this part. I told him, it's done, can't I just leave now?

"Wait, Minnesota? You're having brain surgery in Minnesota? What the hell, Amelia? Why not here? Around people who love you and can take care of you?" Link is upset now and raises his voice enough for Scout to stop what he's doing and look up at us with big eyes.

I stand up and lift him in my arms, smiling at him and telling him that everything's okay. Thankfully, Link notices that and takes it down a notch.

"I don't understand why you're doing this, Amelia," he says with a heavy sigh.

"I don't want to do it here. Everyone here knows me, the whole hospital will talk about how I have a brain tumor, again, and what crazy things I have done because of it, again. I just want to get it removed, recover as quickly as possible and get back to normalcy," I try my hardest to remain calm as I'm explaining this, but I can already tell that Link doesn't want to hear any of it.

"And so your way of dealing with this is running away? Like you run away from everything else?" Link is visibly upset and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. Of course he sees it like that. He also thinks my work in Minnesota is just me escaping.

"I'm not running away. I'm going to a different hospital to have surgery and then returning to work and my son. I just need you to look after Scout a bit longer this time, that's all I'm asking," I force myself to explain calmly once more. Everything in me wants to lash out again, but I'm honestly too tired of fighting with him. Besides, the good old pounding ache in my head is back.

"Doesn't sound like you're asking. Sounds like you've made up your mind and you're just letting me know." Link gets up and walks to the kitchen and I watch as he grabs a glass and pours himself what appears to be whiskey.

What a lovely gesture. It's not that I forbid anyone from drinking in front of me, but he really couldn't have chosen a better moment.

I lift Scout onto my other hip and hoist his bag onto my shoulder. "You're right. I am just letting you know. I don't need your permission," I say coldly and head towards the door.

"If you're too busy to take care of your son, you can drop him off at Meredith's. She'll gladly look after him while I'm recovering." And with that, I leave before I'm forced to hear anything else from him.