Love Me Tender (A Kaimelia - Kai Bartley/Amelia Shepherd - fanfiction)

Easter eggs

Hello and first of all, thank you! Thank you for reading, for voting, for commenting, for enjoying this story. I have loved writing it the most out of anything I've ever written purely because of all the support.

Throughout the story I've intentionally put in some little easter eggs in the form of repeated phrases/situations/topics that I'd now like to explain and talk about. You'll notice that most are about Kai since the story is mainly from Amelia's POV, meaning that we all had a bigger glimpse into her thoughts and feelings. No clue if any of you are interested in this, but it was just a little something that made the whole story come a full circle for me.

As always, feel free to comment, to discuss any of these points or anything else that stood out to you.

--

"I've got you" - Kai

Kai says that at the very beginning when Amelia first starts presenting symptoms of the tumor regrowth. She gets dizzy and Kai is there to help, but Amelia initially holds back from leaning on them. That is meant both figuratively and literally. She's used to doing things on her own, being independent to a fault. It's only after the surgery when she stubbornly wants to get up and moving that Kai says it again and Amelia actually listens this time. This shows how she's come a long way in accepting help and care and how serious she actually is about letting Kai in now.

--

"If you want me to leave, you have to tell me" - Kai

This is said in similar situations with different results. The first time this comes up is after Amelia is diagnosed with a tumor once again and can't stand the thought of being alone. She is on the verge of breaking her sobriety and Kai shows up. Amelia is very vulnerable in that moment, not focusing on hiding her feelings or thoughts as the reality is too much for her to handle. That also allows her to ask Kai to stay. In a later chapter, the same topic comes up when Amelia is leaving to go back to Seattle. She has been overthinking a lot and essentially the opposite is happening in her mind. Instead of thinking "Kai doesn't want to be here but I need them to" she is now thinking "Kai wants me to be here but I can't" which results in a different response - her pushing them away. It almost marks both the beginning and the end of their relationship.

--

"You look stunning" - Kai

Kai is a charmer. There's no denying that. They say it on the first date that Kai and Amelia have and Amelia is so taken back that she doesn't say anything in response. It's not that she hasn't gotten compliments like that in the past. It's more about the sincerity of it, the feeling that Kai sees beyond her physical appearance. That is proven the second time they say it - when Amelia has just woken up from surgery and looks anything but stunning. But in Kai's eyes, she will always be the most beautiful woman in the room and although a part of Amelia doesn't believe them either of those times, a bigger part feels that they truly mean it.

--

Consent vs control

This was a tricky subject to approach. Kai is confident, self-assured, even dominant in certain situations (if ya know what I mean). At the same time, they're a true gentleman and consent and respect are very important for them. Creating that careful balance was interesting to write. In some instances, Kai is gentle and slow in their approach. On the other hand, they are stubborn when they know they're right and don't budge when Amelia keeps pushing. They can pretty quickly understand what Amelia actually needs or wants and rely on that more in some cases than on what she says. In all instances, her happiness comes first.

--

Link

*sighs*

This was another tricky subject. I have little against the guy, I think he deserves someone great and he's a great dad. He just needs to get it in his head that he and Amelia want very different things. I tried to make him seem human and hurting and perhaps it turned out like he was the villain at some points. I think it's difficult to see things from his point of view, because in Grey's as well, that just seems to be one stubborn viewpoint. So that's what I went with and you'll notice how he has almost the same arguments in two chapters when talking about the subject of Amelia and Kai and her moving on. I initially wanted to delete the whole second chapter, but then decided against it. I think it helped show how stuck in his ways and his own ideas he is. He's fixated on the idea of him and Amelia ending up together and unable to move on. And I guess that's also human. Amelia is more used to compartmentalizing her emotions and moves on quicker thanks to that, but not all people are like that and I find that also important to showcase.

--

Amelia

Lastly, I wanted to talk a bit more about Amelia and how I chose to portray her throughout this story. Amelia has been engaged, married, divorced, in serious relationships, in casual ones.. You name it. And yet, with Kai she's sometimes acting like a teenager who has a first love. Although it may seem out of character to some, it actually makes perfect sense looking from her point of view. This is, in a way, her first love. Her first, non-male, relationship. And although I fully agree with the statement that love is love, there is still something new and different and exciting about a queer relationship. None of her previous experiences could prepare her for this and also no one could have prepared her for Kai. That's why I've depicted her as almost this teenager with butterflies and obsessive thoughts and uncertainty and a record finishing time (again, if ya know what I mean). Because although love is love and all love is valid and equal, this is still a different and new experience and I wanted to highlight the excitement of that.