Love Me Tender (A Kaimelia - Kai Bartley/Amelia Shepherd - fanfiction)

Part 29

KAI'S POV

Everything sucks just a little more without her. That realization came pretty quickly. It's not that I was so hooked on her that I've now fallen into deep depression. I still go about my day, going to work, talking to people and all that. But walks with Fiddle are more boring, being in the lab feels like a big part is missing and going to bed next to just pillows..well.. sucks.

Even Fiddle got confused the first morning, running to the bedroom as had become his routine and then walking out with his head down a few moments later. I think seeing that may have broken my heart even more than Amelia already did. Maybe I was stupid for letting her become a part of my life this easily. Or perhaps I was hopeful.

Whatever the case, I still have to respect her choices and although it has taken me every drop of willpower not to text or call her, I have succeeded so far. Then again, it's only been three days. It does get easier with every passing day and I've finally been able to focus on work fully.

What doesn't help though, is Dr. Hamilton breathing down our necks. He hasn't said it out loud, but I can tell that he isn't pleased with the fact that Amelia has been absent. It obviously wasn't her fault and I'd like to hope that David gets that as well, but he's still frustrated with the speed of our progress. Or lack of it, to be precise.

He's also not a fan of the fact that we've enlisted Tom Koracick to help out in her absence. Apparently there's some history between the two doctors, which doesn't surprise me. I've known Tom for quite a while so I'm sure he fucked up at some point and that is now causing tension. But at least him being here is keeping Hamilton a safe distance away from the lab, giving us all room to breathe.

It's just me and Tom here today, although Meredith is supposed to join tomorrow. I've been nervous about it the whole day considering that I have no clue what she knows and if any of it may actually be different to what I know. But it's not like we're besties and I can just ask her. Tom on the other hand may prove to be useful in this instance. He's nosy enough, maybe I'll overhear some details..

I'm attempting to drag my focus back to work, feeling a bit discouraged that I've let my thoughts wander back to Amelia again, when Tom just shatters all the slow progress I've been making. "So, do you and wifey have any hot plans for tonight?" he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows in my direction.

I look up from the microscope for a few seconds, imagining all the cuss words I'd like to throw at him. But instead I just shake my head and look through the eyepiece again. "You should really focus on work, you need some extra points to suck up to David," I simply state, twisting a few knobs to adjust the focus.

"Yeah, I think that even curing Parkinson's myself wouldn't ease his anger," Tom laughs at that and pretends to work for about half a minute before his curiosity strikes again. "Oh, come on! Amelia won't tell me anything and it's really hard being a fan of this lesbo love story if I'm being kept in the dark."

His whining reminds me that of a child and I sigh heavily. Then another thing sparks my interest. "So you've talked to Amelia about.. this?" I answer his question with one of my own. I don't really know what to call the thing between me and Amelia, but it's definitely not 'lesbo love story'. Then again, at this point I can just call it 'over'.

"I've tried, would be the correct way of saying this," Tom sighs dramatically, leaning back in his chair. I'd imagine he'd want to be a fly on the wall at my place so any details is probably still too little for him. But I do know that he and Amelia have some history too, so perhaps she told him something she didn't tell me..

I shouldn't be wondering about this at all. What matters is that she told me to leave. Literally. And so I did and I shouldn't feel guilty about that or second guess if I should've been stubborn and refused. Still, I look up at Tom now, all sorts of questions filling my head.

"But you know we lived together?" I ask, trying to understand if he's up to date with anything and also accidentally letting it slip that Amelia left. I notice it as soon as Tom raises an eyebrow curiously and already regret saying anything.

"Uh, I know that you live together, but apparently I'm missing some important details," he chuckles, although he doesn't seem amused at this information. "So what happened? Trouble in paradise?"

I roll my eyes unintentionally, trying my hardest to hide my emotions by staring down at the microscope again. Honestly, I've even forgotten what I'm supposed to be looking at. Maybe Hamilton was right and our progress has been too slow, even considering Amelia not being here. I should really pick up the pace.

"Forget I asked," I state then, wanting this conversation to be over with. My head and heart keep fighting over this, head reassuring me that I can't change a thing anymore and there's no point in rehashing this. And heart reminding me of all my feelings for Amelia and begging for another chance.

But I'm a scientist. Head always wins.

"Well. Whatever the case, I'm still a big fan of the two of you. Huge, even," Tom shrugs, his focus seemingly shifting back to work as well. "Lord knows Amelia could use something good in her life for a change," he adds then, mumbling it more to himself but it's still loud enough for me to hear.

I don't say anything, but internally I'm both flattered and hurt at that. It's nice that Tom thinks I could be that 'something good'. Just hurts a lot that Amelia didn't agree.