Love Me Tender (A Kaimelia - Kai Bartley/Amelia Shepherd - fanfiction)

Part 31

I'm extremely nervous walking into the lab today. I have no clue if Kai is even here and what their reaction to seeing me is going to be. A smaller part of me is also worried about the research and all the progress since I've been away for so long. But that's been pushed to the back of my mind right now.

I see them before I even reach the door, thanks to the glass walls and doors that separate the lab from the main hallway. Their back is turned to me, which gives me a few more seconds to gather myself. And then Meredith comes into view and I bite my lip. I love my sisters but this isn't a conversation that I want an audience to.

Still, I push the door open and step inside the lab, earning a curious glance from Mer. She knew I was coming in today and also knows a little about this weird situation between me and Kai, but my guess is that she's wondering what happens next. So am I.

Kai turns around then and sees me as well, their face not really giving off any emotions. If I wanted to, I could convince myself that they're glad to see me, but maybe I'm just imagining it.

"Hi, Dr. Shepherd," they say then and I feel it like a stab into the gut. Not Amelia anymore.. we're back to Dr. Shepherd.

I say a meek 'hello' back, barely sounding above a whisper. Mer smirks at that and I shoot her a sharp glance. It's not my fault that Kai makes me feel things that in turn make me act like a teenager with a massive crush. Or perhaps more than just a crush..

I try my best to ignore Meredith and walk over to Kai, gathering up the last remains of courage in me. "Can we talk?" I ask, my voice lowered although I'm fairly certain my sister can still hear us. Even if she does, she at least has the decency to pretend otherwise.

Kai looks at me for a few seconds and the look in their eyes makes me feel hopeful. We'll talk and fix this and go back to the way things were before I messed everything up. But then they look away and just shake their head.

"I don't think there's much left to say. We should get to work anyway," they say and walk away to the robotic arm, setting it up. I'm left standing there, feeling absolutely horrible. But I can't just sit down and wallow. They're right, we're behind on the research and it's because of me.

I go and put my things down and grab my lab coat, replacing my jacket with it. Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I manage to form a smile on my face and head towards Kai and Mer. "So, what're we doing today?" I ask with fake enthusiasm.

But as soon as Kai starts explaining, I zone out, just focusing on the way their lips move and how their voice sounds. Blinking a few times, I try my best to come back to reality. We're done. I need to move on.

--

"Soo, today was bullshit," Meredith says, making me pause my movement for a second. I'm putting my things together since we're done for the day. Kai left first, which is unusual. I guess they couldn't wait to get away from me.

"I thought we made some good progress," I argue back and continue shoving things into my bag. Finally I remove my lab coat and hang it up on the hook. I'll be back here tomorrow morning so there's no point in taking it to the wardrobe, I usually just come straight here.

"I'm talking about the two of you," Mer rolls her eyes at me, pushing open the glass door and waiting for me in the doorway. I sigh, not really wanting to talk about this, but well, Meredith is stubborn so what choice do I really have.

I try to remember how many minutes it is to our hotel and if I'd be able to avoid the topic for that duration. Probably not. Grabbing my jacket, I head out with her, looking around for a second, subconsciously looking for Kai. They're probably home already, out on their nightly walk with Fiddle. Gosh, I even miss that damn dog.

"Come on, Amelia. What really happened?" Mer demands to know. I just told her and Maggie that we were done. I sigh again, feeling frustrated at everything. That's the dumb part of it all. I happened. This was fully my fault and I just feel so stupid for behaving the way I did.

"We had a fight..? I guess. I don't know.. Whatever, it's done anyway. We're done," I shake my head, trying to think of something to ask her. What was the dude's name she went on a date with.. damnit, I haven't been paying attention.

"Didn't look done. They kept eyeing you the whole time with this sad puppy look in their eyes. It was quite amusing to watch actually," Meredith laughs and I look at her, feeling both shocked and angry. How can she laugh?!

"None of this is amusing. It sucks and I'm angry and sad and there's nothing I can do," I blurt out. What I really want to do is scream and punch something, but I can't do that so I'm left to just pout silently. Love is dumb.

Meredith rolls her eyes at me again, the action making me even more annoyed. "There's always something. You can apologize, talk it out. There's only no chances left when they're dead," she says, playing the dead husband card. Which hurts extra because I definitely would've wanted to clear some stuff out with Derek too, but the bastard died.

"I tried. They don't want to talk to me," I defend myself. I mean, I'm not stupid enough to just sit and wait for the solution to fall into my lap. But I can't exactly lock us into a room together and force them to talk.

"Then you try again," Meredith says, her tone also frustrated now. I don't even know why she cares about this so much. I mean, yeah, we're sisters, but she was never team Owen or team Link, at least not like this. Not to mention her own history with Link.

"Amelia. You deserve to be happy too," she finally says, stopping in the middle of walking to look at me. I just shrug initially, but something about the determination in Mer's eyes gives me strength too and so I make up my mind.

"Okay, I'll try again. And then again if that doesn't work," I nod, earning a satisfied smile from Mer. It better work though.