neon genesis evangelion: this is (not) the end

chapter 12: asuka (part 1)

"shinji would you sleep with me" asuka said blushing

"your sure" i asked she nodded

"well i don't mind then" i said she smiled as she pulled me into her room shutting and locking it she then turned to me and our lips touched as she pressed hers deeper into mine i let her lead and kissed her in turn

"you have no idea how much i missed you shinji" she whispered as we separated

"i'm sorry but i needed time" i said she shook her head

"i know i'm sorry too i promise to never treat you like that again" asuka said i smiled

"i don't want you to change to much i liked that confidence of yours" i said

"yeah but i'm not gonna insult you anymore" she said as she kissed me again this time the kiss was much deeper much more intimate as she poured her longing into it but she felt nothing from him

"do you not want me" she asked

"i want you to lead" i answered she shook her head

"why" she asked

"because now that i have you i don't want to lose you because of some stupid decision of mine it would spiral me back into depression" i said she was shocked

"do i mean that much to you" she asked her heart pumping as she waiting for my answer

"yes" i said inwardly after hearing that she jumped for joy outwardly though she didn't want to kill their mood

"so you do want to do things to me" she asked sultrily

"yes" i said again

"and what if i told you that you could have your way with me" she asked seeing where she was going with this but also deciding to play along

"i'd say that was the biggest mistake of your life and i'd leave you without the use of your legs" i responded with a husky tone which turned her on

"is that a challenge" she asked me

"it's a promise" i answered

"then do it show me what kind of man you have become" she said at those words i slammed her against the wall slamming my lips against her

"EEP" she said in shock not at all expecting him to be so ruff even if she told him to have his way with her hearing this though he stopped immediately afraid he may have hurt her

"did i hurt you" he asked she shook her head

"i was just shocked by how ruff you'd be i am still used to that coward that you used to be" asuka said

"do you want me to stop" she asked

"no i want to see the man you are simply ignore my sounds of surprise as i am sure they will come if i really want us to stop you will know" asuka said

"your sure" i asked she nodded her confidence radiated off of her the confidence that i had fallen in love with seeing this i slammed my lips against hers she melted at my attention.

 she began to pull off her top i stopped

"what are you doing" i asked

"i though we were...." she trailed off realizing that shinji thought it was just gonna be a make-out session

"shinji ikari" she said in an authoritative tone she gotten from misato and her mother which absolutely shocked her lover

"you are gonna fuck me" she said realizing even through that i was still hesitant she sighed and started to take off his  cloths first she was surprised that he let her once his chest was bare she pulled her own top off to match his also undoing her belt and pulling off her skirt to revealing her underwear she sighed as she had to pulls his stuff off including his leg armor which was a little annoying to her but she persevered and pulled everything besides his boxers off she noticed a tent in his underwear and smirked

"you do want me" asuka whispered to him

"i said i did" i said 

"then why are you so hesitant" she asked

"i told you why and anyway it's not that i don't want to do it with you it's more i don't want to take the lead" i responded this annoyed her

"you kissed me" she pointed out

"You kissed first and anyway a kiss is one thing especially since it wasn't your first kiss it doesn't mean nearly as much as sex does" i said

"hey i gave my first kiss to you" she said and she got the really look

"by your own words that only happened cause you were bored and anyway it was still a kiss controlled by you since if you recall you pinched my nose making it impossible for me to breath and then when i broke it cause you know i couldn't breath you stormed off insulted at who knows what" i said this got silence while i was internally like 'we are arguing cause i am not taking the initiative for sex this is my life now huh'

"i....i want to give this to you as well" she said

"and i want you in complete control just like last time" i said

"why are you scared of me" she asked and i yet again gave her the really look

"look asuka i love i do from the bottom of my heart you are my one and only trust me i have had many woman throw themselves at me but i have refused them all because the only one i ever wanted to be with was you that being said you used to treat me like i was completely worthless for whatever the reason even when you nothing about me" i said she opened and closed her mouth several times

"then why do you love me" she asked tears forming in her eyes

"because i saw you as my kindred spirit we both had essentially the same lives it's simply you took to it much better then i and that i think is what i liked about you most of all through all your trauma you still became this confident and strong and beautiful woman" i responded she pushed her self into my bare chest and cried again i held her petting her and simply let her cry

"i don't want to be any of those things anymore i just want to be able to cry" asuka sobbed

"and that's okay i was like that i locked away the world remember just don't fall down the same hole i did and you can cry as much as you want it won't change how much i love you" i said to her we heard a knock on the door

"asuka shinji you two alright" misato asked checking on the young couple of which she was expecting to hear moaning by now she knew asuka wanted him to do it with her and normally she would stop it however that girl needs him and sex is probably the best way to relieve all of the stress that's piled on her she had taken shinji's place as NERV's top pilot and so she was expected to do as well as him but having that high of expectations from your mother and from the commander didn't help at all shinji was already depressed but it didn't change his mental status he just kinda dealt with it asuka doesn't have that ability she realized the spotlight is not all it's cooked up to be

"give us a minute" i responded as i continued to let asuka cry in my arms

"i want you so bad not just because i want you but because i want to forget all my responsibilities if just for a night and i want you to make me forget them" asuka said quietly

"i understand would you understand where i am coming from though" i asked she looked at me

"i am afraid to even touch you because of how you used to treat me i'm still trying to figure out if this new you is to good to be true and if it is i don't even wanna know what you would do to me" i said she looked at me with a sad expression

"i'm sorry" she said she grabbed her shirt and skirt and pulled them back on i grabbed my pants and pulled them on and went to the door unlocking and opening it the first thing misato noticed was a tear stained asuka

"you alright asuka" misato asked

"do me and everyone else a favor and go away misato" asuka said that was all she nodded she turned and left with that i shut the door with that

"lock it" asuka said i did as she said

"that way we don't have blackmailers in the morning mari really likes to do that" asuka said she pulled her clothes off to get back into her underwear before grabbing my arm and pulling me off as well