Neverland||Charlie Weasley [2]

24

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Hattie thought it was getting better but once again she hit a brick wall. It was late and Hattie laid in the silence, the moonlight pouring into the room lighting the far corner up. She could feel it crawling over her body, a sense of repulsion as she bit the inside of her cheek.

Her lips quivered, and eyes welled up with tears. It pulled at her, dragging her down into the depths of deep, dark, hole.

Endless tears streamed down her cheeks, staining her skin like blood on a canvas. Her hands shook and clutched at her hair, tugging the strands with fierce vigour.

She felt guilty for being this way after everything she had worked for. The only saving grace was her arms didn't itch, neither did her thighs, and she craved food to fill the void in her.

Still sobbing, Hattie trudged down to the kitchen, opened up the cupboards and the fridge and reached in for anything and everything she could eat. The sprawl over the table was a budget version of one of Mrs Weasley's dinners, the kitchen table was covered in chocolates, biscuits, sweets, crisps, cocktail sausages and sausage rolls, mini scotch eggs, ham, bread, puddings, chocolate mousse, yogurts and so much more, the kitchen was raided.

She stuffed her face with everything. Taking bites out of different products. Spooning puddings, yogurts, mousse into her mouth, then crunching on crisps and biscuits. She ate and ate and ate and ate, her tears getting louder and her hands shaking more and more. She made so much noise that she neglected to hear someone joining her in the kitchen.

Charlie wrapped his arms around her, he buried his head into her shoulder blades and held her as she continued to eat. "Ba-Hattie, what's going on?" He asked her.

She let out her loudest sob, food falling from her mouth and landing soggily on the table.

He prayed that no new cuts were made on her skin as he waited, letting her use him as a shoulder to cry on. Although he asked he didn't expect an answer straight away, he would wait for years if it meant she was ready to speak. His heart tore even more, to the point he was sure it was only attached by loose threads, every relapse, every tear she spilt, ever drop of blood that left her body, Charlie's heart broke more and more. He would never stop wanting to take the pain from her.

"I don't know," Hattie said, her voice choked and tears still falling as she shook staring at the mess on the table.

Even getting back into eating properly, Hattie had never eaten as much as she had done in this one sitting. Her stomach bulged bloated and she felt as though she couldn't move.

"That's okay, all of this is okay." Charlie pointed at the half-eaten food. "Just another bump, yeah?"

"Will it ever stop? Like completely?"

"I can't give you answer to that, its something you need to speak to your therapist about. I'm not quali-"

"I don't care if you have a qualification in dog-shit eating, Charlie, please just tell me it'll stop!"

Charlie held her closer, "hopefully," he told her, his fingers brushing through her curls. "Was the cake any good?" He pointed at the red-velvet cupcakes his mother had made earlier that day.

Hattie chuckled, trust him to ask if it was any good after she had a total breakdown. "It was great, your mum always bakes good cupcakes."

Charlie picked up one of them and took a bite himself, "You're right!"

He didn't want her to feel ashamed at what she had eaten, he wanted to act as though it was normal in hopes that it wouldn't make her digress and stop eating. His friend Kaitlyn from school struggled with food, she would eat a lot one day and starve for the next three. It was a horrible cycle that put her in the hospital wing for a month, Madam Pomfrey tending to her like a china doll, he didn't want Hattie to go back into that state.

Sirius padded down the stairs after hearing some commotion and found the state his daughter was in with Charlie eating a cupcake whilst holding her. Hattie was so focussed on the hem of Charlie's shirt and the thread that was hanging from it that she failed to hear her dad enter the kitchen but Charlie heard him and looked back towards him.

'What happened?' Sirius moved to the younger man.

'Breakdown and a lot of eating' Charlie responded and Sirius nodded.

He sat down beside the two and gently placed hi hand on the small of Hattie's back. "Hey you," he smiled, "fancy a hug?"

Hattie stretched her arms out to her father and let him tug her closer. "I'm sorry," she said.

"No need to apologise, it happens. Trust me, Moony had a habit of devouring boxes of chocolates when he felt down, I know it's not the same situation that you are in-"

"Yes it is."

"What?"

"He didn't want to be here either. He hated himself, dad, he would have rather had died too instead of being a werewolf. We are the same."

"Not quite the same but similar, sweetheart," Remus said entering the kitchen, "but your dad is right, I used to binge eat to soak up my feelings and whilst it helped me feel full, it never really helped me, how has it helped you?"

"I feel sick."

Charlie patted her knee, "you will do b- kiddo, but has it made you feel a bit better?"

She shook her head.

Remus kissed her forehead and picked up a sausage roll and ate it. "You know you could wake any of us up when you feel like this, right?" He said mid-chew.

"I know but I am an adult, I can't keep going on like a baby."

"No matter how old you get, if you need us we are here. We failed you previously but now we won't let you go at this alone, not ever."