ALL TOO WELL ☆ DYLAN O'BRIEN

SIXTEEN

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･real life･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you call me up again just to break me like a promise
so casually cruel in the name of being honest
i'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

The room was dark. The curtains drawn tightly shut, subsequently shunning the sunlight. No lights were on inside the small apartment, let alone the bedroom. Wrappers and containers were strewn all across the room, creating a sense of havoc.

In the center was a bed, piled high with blankets and pillows. In between them, lay a heartbroken girl trying her hardest to mend the pieces back together. Her cheeks were stained, her eyes red and her nose constantly sniffling to contain her pain.

If Loucille had to describe what she had felt at that time, she would say nothing. She felt null, void, empty. She felt useless as she laid between her sheets, sobbing the shattered pieces of her heart out.  The girl used to feed everything so vividly, see everything so vibrantly. Now everything felt like nothing.

Everything felt gray. It felt black and white. Like the world didn't make sense anymore and nothing existed outside of her tormented bubble.

It wasn't like she was trying to anything either, she just sat there for hour on end, everyday, just staring. Staring at her ceiling, her walls, the pictures of him she had yet to take down or tear apart; she couldn't decide.

If Loucille was asked now to describe what she felt then, she would say she was angry. She was upset. She was in the worst pain of her life. The heartbreak truly felt like death by a thousand cuts, the pain shooting through her heart somehow soaring through every fiber of her being.

If Loucille could go back to that time, she would probably hit herself. She would yell at herself, urge herself to get up and do something. To put it behind her, to break something. To just do anything rather than laying in her own self pity for days.

As she laid there, for the fourth day in a row, she couldn't help but think what she did wrong. What was so horrible about her that he would walk out? Why was she not enough for him? Would she ever be enough for anyone?

Throughout her whirlwind of thoughts, her phone had started vibrating on her bedside table. The small device had been placed on silent ever since it happened. She was scared that if she held it, she would realise that all this was reality. That it wasn't some dream or a cruel nightmare. That she truly was alone.

She hadn't bothered reaching out to her friends either, for as far as they knew, she had gotten dumped and she was taking a trip home. But little did they all know, she was only a half hour away from them, slowly falling apart in her small studio apartment.

So, Loucille laid in her bed, unmoving, unfeeling. Listening to the device shake and vibrate across the wooden spirals of the table. As it stopped, she heard the notification being read out.

You have, one new voicemail from dyl<3

At those words, her body shot upwards; her head spinning with the action due to the lack of nutrients her body had received in the past few days. Her nimble, shaky fingers reach out to grab her phone, swiping across the screen to play the message.

Dylan takes a deep breath as the voicemail starts. "Um, hey Lou. I, uh, I just wanted to check in. Uh, make sure you got your stuff back okay?" he clears his throat, almost as if he was trying to rid himself of the forming lump.

Loucille immediately felt the tears rush back to her eyes at his words, he didn't care. He just wanted to get ride of her stuff.

"I hope you're okay. I- uh. Yeah. Please call me back when you can? You probably won't." he mumbles the last part. "Just take care of yourself yeah? Bye Elle."

A raging scream escapes her throat as the voicemail ends, her thumb quickly pressing the delete button before she clenched her fist around the metal device and chucks it across her room. A shattering, cracking sound echos through the space as it comes into contact with her wall before dropping to the ground.

Before she knew it, she was burying herself in her blankets again as a new round of sobs leave her lips. She didn't know why she had expected it to be an apology, for him to tell her that he regrets it all. She just wanted him to say he loved her and everything would be okay.

But he didn't.

His words truly signified the end of them. The end of Loucille and Dylan. All because of his own selfish needs that Loucille still did not understand. All she wanted when she came home that day was to curl up beside him in bed, feel his warmth and his arms around her.

What she had gotten, was the thing she expected the least. She thought they were in a good place, she thought they were going strong. But what was evident that cold winter night, was that Dylan didn't care anymore.

And with that pondering came the question again, why was she not good enough?

Loucille had had enough. She was fed up of feeling this way. Picking herself up, she makes the decision that she was going out. She didn't care where she ended up or who she was with. All she knew at that point was that she needed to feel the neon shooting through her veins.

And that was exactly what she did.

MAYA SPEAKS
yikes. that's all i have to say.
i hate hurting my baby like this but plot, yk?
anyways, i hope you're all doing alright today!!
all love, stay safe <3