furthermore

Divergence

I am divergent
I don't do anything
The way I'm "supposed" to
I'm told that when I crochet
I tension my yarn all wrong
And when I knit
I wrap the wrong way
The patterns of my thoughts
Are alien and strange
To someone who has never been told
That they read too much
In school, I tested too well
For a child who submitted no homework
My eating is disordered
My space is chaotic
And even the things I enjoy
Fail to hold my attention
Except when they do
Because then they don't let go
I used to think I was weird
Because that's what I was told
But it turns out that what I wasn't told
Was far more important
My mother never had me tested
Because I was far too smart
But she never let me be challenged, either
I was allowed to exist in a purgatory
Between "gifted" and "autistic"
Where nothing was enough
Until it was too much
I was made to coast on potential
Without being taught to harness it
And now I am an adult
Aimless and disappointed
Drowning in my own divergence