inhale, kevin day.

xiv. wonderland

chapter fourteen
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Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.

     Maeve pulled away,"And don't ask me why I changed my mind about telling you stuff or about Andrew or try to get me to care about Exy."

     Kevin gave her a look, mostly though, he was still staring at her lips. "Anything else?"

     "Yes."

     He rose a single eyebrow.

     "Don't fall in love with me." She demanded, but she didn't give him a chance to agree or even take in what she'd said before she was placing her mouth on his once more.

     Briefly, she remembered telling him she didn't bite earlier and did the exact opposite because she couldn't help herself, she thought she was hilarious and she would've pulled away just to tease him some more, but all Kevin did was pull her closer and kiss her harder. Almost like he couldn't get enough.

     Her mind reminded her what a dangerous game she was engaging in, how she'd be better off not going down that path again, but as her hands traveled from Kevin's hips to his chest, where the thrumming beneath her fingers matched her own... she couldn't find it in herself to stop.

For tonight, at least, she'd allow herself to get lost in wonderland.

     The clock on the wall ticked, and with it, so did Maeve's right eye as she sat in internal battle in front of Betsy Dobson's desk. They'd been sitting in silence for seven minutes and twenty three seconds... twenty four... twenty five...

     She knew whatever she spoke to Betsy was in confidence, that even her longtime friendship with her godmother couldn't break through the boundaries they'd set as psychiatrist and patient, she knew what she spoke to Wymack was limited also: yes, she's doing well, no, let's scale it back. Betsy determined whether they ought to play or not, and though Maeve was so used to claiming she didn't want to anymore... she didn't know what it was like to sit out either.

Starting alongside Matt came as easily to her as breathing air did, which now that she really thought of it, sounded so similarly to Kevin's obsessive rants.

Their deal was simple, pleasure only, with a few added rules.

No Exy talk.

No emotional talk.

Tell no one.

Regardless of said rules, he could only go for so long before Exy babble slipped past his lips and he went on another one of his tangents about the upcoming season. He either didn't see — or simply ignored — her eyes rolling and her fake yawns, and yet... she didn't call him out on it past the first couple of times.

And sometimes, when she was feeling particularly nice, she said nothing when he joined her in her room at night with his laptop and headphones to watch game footage in silence. She'd never admit to finding herself in a placid state when he lifted his arms and let her set her head in his lap, one hand nestling in her hair while the other ran circles on her exposed hip. She'd especially never tell anyone how three out of the five times they'd done it she'd fallen fast asleep in that hold of his.

     She hadn't given him any more pieces to her puzzle and he'd been patient enough not to ask.

     Another thing in her life that was easy.

Though her godmother wasn't stupid by any means, Abby had noticed how Maeve left less and less at night. She didn't say anything, but she'd heard her quietly thanking the photo of her father that sat by the entrance to the house once after they'd had dinner.

She had thought about her art then, remembering the unfinished portrait she'd started of her father in freshman year and how it sat collecting dust in Abby's room.

Once upon a time she'd wished Abby had been her mother, then she'd cursed such ridiculousness and scolded herself for it, Abby had gone through enough trouble with her already, never mind if she'd been her actual parent.

It was with that thought, and the reminder of the badly covered up look of relief on Abby's face during her physical, prior to sitting down with Betsy, that she sighed.

"Neil Josten has potential." She kept her face neutral,"Matt's definitely gonna like him, I can see him taking the kid under his wing already, they're both clueless in different ways."

"I've played with him a few times." She continued before adding,"Not by choice. I can see where Wymack would think he'd fit in."

"Okay." Betsy smiled,"Anything else? Is that how you feel about him also?"

"I think..." Maeve paused, frowning, she swallowed and then started up again,"I think I'd like to play this year, not to say I'm gonna try real hard and be friends with my teammates, but I don't want to stop playing just yet."

Betsy opened her mouth, but Maeve spoke again before she could.

"Not a word to Wymack about this, Dobson."