Dearly Affair

CHAPTER 4

CESSIA

I wish I could love like I used to love
I wish I could love like when I was young
It's getting easier to say goodbye
The older you get, the less you cry
I wish I didn't give all of me away
And I'd take back the things that I wish I didn't say
It's getting harder as the days go by
The older you get, the less you cry

I feel like this song are connected to me, to what I'm walking pathway and the line of darkness fully scope me. I couldn't move, it's so hard to find an inspiration to continue and be persistent to any decisions I'm making, because thinking what if it was false and put me in a great trap with the another me but a dull, and the shoulder heaved in carrying burdens from behind.

The Older you Get, The Less you Cry by Lany. I love his song. It brings me to an imaginations where I can forget my problems much lethal than reality. And the calmness of it are indulging my whole creates.

I ramble in side walks nearby our house to see the nature outside. Gusto ko ring palipasin ang buong araw na masilayan ko ang labas na puno ng kulay at buhay na mga katawan.

The older I get, this cries never intended to come out. I want to weep to wipe those dim coverage in my parts. My world are these, shine but almost soulless. Parang walang buhay ang lahat sa akin. Pilit ko mang iniisip na kailangan ko maghanap ng bagay na makakakulay ng aking balintataw ay iyon ang gagawin kong sandata upang mabigyan rin ang mga nakikita kong mga bagay na lanta.

I like being alone. I like this. But I never want to achieve this game without any proper partial. I want to win but the intensity wants me to give up and let the lose be on me.

I never put any interest to any things my mind know. I know they are famous nor popular but it seems so normal for me. I only give them same attention as how I originally giving to mine. The equality were applied but color of its value.... I don't know.

I never cry just only for a matter never added my life a year nor further time to stay here in this ground. Nothing will change but the appearances and quality. Things can changed but the interpretation towards those certain objectives will always remain and stay silent from the side.

My concordant feet suddenly make a move and forwardly get an extension and further making until I got from the other village's territory. Gusto kong maglibot habang wala pa sina Mama and Dad. I also need to walk every morning to remove the toxic in my body and exercise freely.

"It's so cold outside Sia, then you're coming out without bringing jacket or any shirt with long sleeve with you. Uso pa naman ngayon ang ubo at lagnat" his steady voice already come here. Wala akong alam kung saan siya nanggaling at sumulpot na lamang bigla sa tabi ko at isinuot ang makapal na tela sa balikat ko.

He even move it up to make it not loosen. Pagkabitaw nito, hinawakan ko ang zipper ngunit hindi para isara. I only want close the left dandy space to not let the cold air go inside me.

"You want coffee?" Umiling ako sa kaniya at sumabay na lamang sa paglalakad nito.

I don't know that there is still an area and part for this beautiful view of nature and the evaporation of the drizzle are too thick. Hindi ko makita ang mga daan mula sa malayo, ngunit kapag nakakatapak na ako papalapit ay unti unti itong na-uugnay sa mga mata ko at tanaw na tanaw ang daanan.

I wish I could be here forever. Another jubilant I felt from here. And this treasure is another moments I am bound and wanting to comeback repeatedly.

"The sky is high, why your dream cannot be in high and don't you even defend the ego and rights of yours?" He look from the sky and then at me.