The Devil's Debt

Falling

When I wake up, I feel her back pressed against me as her body heaves up and down with her breathing. I lie on top of the covers as she lies underneath them, sleeping peacefully in my arms. My arm is wrapped around her waists to keep her close to me and I contemplate moving, but I don't.

I'm not gonna lie, I love the feeling of her body on mine, even if I'm not really touching her, it still feels nice to hold her. I've never felt this before. I've never thought I wanted a relationship with someone like I want one with her. With others, it's lust that I crave.

But with her, it's everything.

I want her body, her mind, her emotions, her warmth... literally everything. Even if she's got some things she's not proud of or things that she doesn't like about herself, I'll take it. All those insecurities and feelings she has, I'll take them and I'll make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world because that's what she is.

I can't believe he was stupid enough to let this go.

As I sit there marveling in her aura, I hear a soft knock at the door.

"Bubba?" I hear M'Kenna call out as she opens the door.

I rise from my pillow and I smile as I see her walk in. "Good morning, kiddo. You sleep okay?" I say, getting up and going to pick her up and kiss her cheek.

"Yeah. I had a dream about your friend. She's really pretty too." she says, looking at Isabella. "Can I lay with you and Isa?" she asks.

"Isa? You gave her a nickname?" I say, smiling as I look at her.

"Yeah. I came up with it when I went to use the potty. I like her." she says.

"Do you?"

"Yeah." she says.

"Okay. We'll lay with 'Isa' then, since you like her so much."

I walk over to the bed and I sit her down next to Isabella, letting her crawl over to her and get under the covers. She giggles and I chuckle as I tell her to be quiet so she won't wake her up. She scoots back onto Isabella as I lie behind her like I was before, and we doze back off, falling asleep.

When I wake back up, Isabella and M'Kenna are gone. I look at the time and it's been four hours since I went back to sleep. "Fuck." I say, running my hands through my hair and getting up. I walk into the hallway with sweatpants and no shirt on, and I hear something coming from Kenna's room.

My head shoots over to her room door and I rush over and I open it all the way to reveal her and Isabella playing in her room. Isa's growling at her as she pretends to be a damsel in distress, and she instantly switches to a prince. "I'll save you, princess." Kenna says in a 'deep' voice.

"Oh no, the prince!" Isa says, playing along.

"I'm gonna slay you, you beast!" Kenna says, then she runs and jumps into Isa's arms, letting her catch her and fall back, laughing.

Kenna pretends to beat her and Isa lies there as she celebrates her victory over her. They both start to laugh and suddenly, Isa's eyes dart to the door where I'm standing.

I blink back a smile and I shake my thoughts away. "I was just wondering where you guys were. Good morning by the way."

"Good morning." she says back, moving some of her hair from her mouth as she smiles and takes a deep breath.

I knock on the the doorframe and I give them a small smile and a nod before leaving and going downstairs.

I go to the kitchen and I see my mother standing there cooking breakfast. "Good morning, mama." I say, kissing her head and grabbing a coffee mug.

"Good morning, honey." she says as I pour myself a hot, fresh cup of coffee.

As I put my sugar and creamer in my coffee, she looks at me and then my cup.

"Coffee?" she says with a smirk.

"Yeah. What about it?" I ask, sipping my coffee after stirring it.

"Did you... have sex with her last night?" she asks keeping quiet.

I nearly choke on my coffee halfway swallowing it before removing the cup from my lips. "No, Mom, I didn't have sex with her last night." I say, looking at her with disbelief in my eyes, laughing.

"Well, you know what they say. Good sex leads to coffee in the morning. Or cigarettes afterwards." she replies, smiling and shrugging.

"I don't smoke, Ma." I reply, drinking my coffee with a smile.

"You could if-"

"I'm not gonna have sex with her, Mom." I say, laughing. "Not until she's ready, at least." I admit.

"Are you ready for her?" she asks.

I look up at her over the brim of my cup, and I raise an eyebrow as I swallow my coffee. "What do you mean?"

"I mean are you catching feelings yet?"

I stop and I think about it. I nod my head as I respond.

"I think so. It's like.. she gives me feelings I've never felt before. Feelings like the want to protect her. The need to feel wanted by her, the want to be close to her every breathing moment. When I was younger, it was all about lust. Like I saw a woman and I thought, I wonder what she'd be like if-". I cut myself off when I realize I'm probably going too far. "Too much?"

"I'm your mom. I'm built for this. We're meant to have conversations like this." she replies.

"You sure? I don't want this to be weird." I say.

"I've seen all of you for six years. Nothing is weirder than all that I've seen."

"Wooow, Mom. Low blow." I say, wincing and laughing.

"Anyway, keep going." she says.

I sigh, and I continue. "It used to be lust that attracted me to a woman, but with her it's different. It's like I want her in every aspect now. Like any way I can have her is how I want her. Is that weird? Be honest, Mom."

"No, it isn't weird." she replies honestly.

"So why is it that when I'm around her, I feel..  weird, but like, in a good way?" I ask.

"It's because she's changing you." she says, turning breakfast off and looking up at me. "You're falling for her, honey."

I slowly move my cup from my lips as I look her in the eyes.

"Breakfast is ready!" she calls upstairs, smiling at me as Isabella and M'Kenna come down.