The Devil's Debt

Selfish

We get back to the house and as we walk through the lobby, Ice looks at us from the kitchen. I look over at him and I shake my head and he sighs and put his head in his hand.

We go upstairs and she slowly walks to the room and sits on the bed, putting her head down.

"The doctor gave me these for you. She said the bleeding's supposed to be heavy and that you'd be bleeding for about two weeks." I say, holding these pads out to her.

She doesn't say anything, nor does she move.

"I'll just... I'll put them up."

I go to put them up for her and I come back to her, looking her over.

"Do you need me right now or do you need a second?" I ask her.

"I just.. I need a moment." she says numbly.

Before I walk out of the room, I leave a long kiss on her head.

"I love you. We're gonna be okay. We'll get through this, I promise."

I leave, giving her a moment to herself.

I go downstairs and Milo, Carter, and Ice stand together, eating breakfast and drinking orange juice.

"You hungry?" Milo asks.

"Milo." Ice says, giving him a fatal look.

"It's fine, Ice. I'm good."

The room goes quiet and I sigh, sitting back in my chair.

"We uhm..... we lost the baby. I'm gonna have to call her parents, well at least her mother, to tell her. Isa... she isn't taking it very well." I say, bouncing my knee is frustration. "She doesn't deserve this. At all. She's already been through a shitty engagement, then I introduce her to the mafia world, and she finds out all these things, and now she can never live in peace because her own fucking dad is making her life hell." I say, anger coursing through me.

Then a thought hits me.

"Maybe.... maybe she doesn't deserve me."

"You're all she's got, Ky. You can't leave her now. Plus she's got nowhere to go." Milo reasons.

"I know..." I say, pulling at my hair. "I'm trying. So hard. But it feels like I'm not doing enough- and I know she hasn't said anything and that maybe she's fine with what I'm doing right now, but... I don't know.. I feel like I need to be better for her in some way." I say.

"You're enough, Kyzer. You're doing everything you physically can for her, and I know she's thankful for that. You put too much pressure on yourself, man. Some women aren't that hard to please, I know that from experience." Carter says, shrugging.

He sighs as he eats a grape.

"Isa, she's one of those women, I can tell by the way she looks at you. You're all she's ever wanted, I promise you, bro. Stop being so hard on yourself." he finishes.

Maybe they're right. Maybe I am being too hard on myself.

With a sigh, I respond, sitting back in my chair.

"You guys are right. I'm putting too much on myself. Thanks guys I... I needed that." I say.

"It's no problem man, really. That's what we're here for. To mediate you and... give advice." Carter says.

"Yeah? Well you're a dick, Carter." I say, laughing a bit. "I should go check on Isa. I'll be back." I say, getting up and walking upstairs.

When I get up there, I look around for Isa, but she's not on the bed.

"Isa?" I say, walking around the room.

Suddenly I hear whimpering coming from the bathroom. I walk to the door and I put my ear to it.

It's Isa.

"Isa, what's the matter? Can you open the door?" I ask, wiggling the doorknob, realizing the door's locked.

She doesn't say anything. She keeps sniffling and mumbling words under her breath.

"Isa, open the door." I say, pulling at the door.

Then I catch a couple words that slip from her lips.

"It's my fault... this is my fault." she says, sniffling.

"Isa!" I say urgently, banging at the door. "Shit." I say, pacing, not knowing what to do.

I look at the door and I back up a little bit, then I charge at the door, banging it with my shoulder. When it doesn't budge, I do it again, this time a little harder. I continue until the door breaks open.

When I get inside, Isa's sitting on the floor. I see a pack of my razor blades open and one is missing. I look up at Isa and a small puddle of blood is in front of her.

"Oh my God." I say, running over to her and carefully getting the blade from her.

I pick her up and I put her on the bed as blood runs from the cuts on her arm. I rush to get the first aid kit, knocking things over as I search for it. When I find it, I rush back to Isa and she's sitting on the bed with her head down. Without a word, I start to clean up the blood on her arm and cleaning her cuts before wrapping her arm, the white bandage turning red.

I look up at her and I shake my head, my nose burning as tears prick at my eyes.

"Why do you keep putting me through this?" I ask, looking over at her.

She doesn't say anything to me, she just stays quiet.

"Isabella, I'm doing everything I can for you. I'm trying to be there, and I'm trying to do what you need me to, but if you don't talk to me, we won't get through this." I say as calmly as I can.

She still doesn't say anything.

"Talk to me!" I yell, a sudden rage consuming me as I get up, pacing. "I'm fucking... I'm fucking trying, okay?! I'm trying so hard to be what you need me to be for you, but I feel like I'm the only one trying now! We're supposed to be in this together, Isabella. We promised. But you don't want to anymore. The blood on the bathroom floor makes that pretty fucking clear to me. We promised no sixty-fourty, Isa please," I say, walking over to her and grabbing her hands, desperately looking to her for an answer. "Please tell I'm not doing this alone."

Still, she says nothing.

The hope in my eyes fades as I drop her hands in defeat to stand up, sighing.

"Fine. I'm done trying. I'm still gonna be here for you, but only if you want me to be. I'm tired of trying if you won't."

I go into the bathroom to clean up the blood on the floor and I put all my blades away to keep them from her, and after I'm done cleaning the bathroom and the room, I go to get in the bed, taking a nap.