Love, Helena

Chapter 21

Tired half-open eyes watched the tall dark-haired man stand imposingly next to the little kitchenette, muscles rippled in his back as he stirred the steaming mug and picked it up afterwards.

She was completely spent, limbs sore and tired, hair most certainly a tangled mess, and a slightly itching throat. Though it was all good with her for the first time in a long while. She was sated and very happy, a lazy smile playing on her lips, and her heart feeling like it took residence on cloud nine and decided not to come down anymore. She sat up further against the headboard and accepted the warm cup of honey lemon from Xavier.

He sat facing her on the edge of the bed and let his hand wander to hers, picking it up and gently landing a soft kiss on it. She chuckled tiredly and whispered, "I must be a funny sight."

"The most bewitching thing I have ever seen." He replied with a genuine smile. He couldn't yet believe that he had her, that she was not a figment of his imagination. He didn't dream up the entire thing, and Helena was indeed in his bed, wearing his shirt like it was made especially for her. Was this what it was like to just feel so peacefully complete, utterly in love with someone who wants you back?

"Don't flatter me, mister." She gave him a pointed but playful look. He chuckled, sitting up closer to her and dragging his fingers through her long locks and then tracing her skin gently. "I never had to. My words barely do the real thing justice."

Helena shook her head, amused. She took another sip of the soothing beverage and sighed in contentment. "Thank you."

"I went a bit overboard didn't I?" Xavier scratched the back of his head nervously. Helena pressed her lips together so as not to laugh at his adorable expression. Was this incredible man really being insecure after the extraordinary night they spent?

"Trust me, Xav. You didn't." She smiled at him. "You were perfect... You are perfect."

He shook his head, pieces of hair falling to his forehead that Helena itched and didn't hesitate to smooth back into place. "Hardly... This feels too good to be real."

"Oh, but it is." She put the mug down and slipped closer to him, immediately getting envelopped in his arms, only the thin layer of the shirt seperating her skin from his. "I should be the one wondering why someone like you would want me. I haven't done much to deserve you-

Xavier silenced her with a kiss and then tucked her head under his chin, looking out the floor to ceiling glass window onto the distant lights of the city. It was many minutes after that he spoke, "You have been my only true friend and companion for years. You opened your home to me, included me in your joys and sorrows."

"There were many times where I felt suffocated and overwhelmed. I came back to you for comfort and a patient listening ear. When I thought I had no one to care for me or my well being, you did. On many occasions I sat in the quiet of my home and thought that I had absolutely no aim in life, no big goal to reach, nobody to please, no one depending on me, feeling my absence, missing me... I disappear for awhile and think to myself that maybe I could just disappear for good and it wouldn't matter, but you always end up dragging me out of those dark thoughts. Somehow, you'll always show right when I start to lose myself and you'll do the simplest things to get me back." He took a deep breath, one she felt in her very bones, as she laced her fingers with his and planted a soft kiss at the crook of his neck. "I would find myself yearning to be with you, and all that you love and cherish. You give me a purpose when I have none. You've always been the light at the end of the tunnel for me, Helena Wren. I could go on about this forever. You have no idea how much I love you."

Helena's heartbeat was deafening in the silence that stretched between them afterwards, as they stared each other in the eye. There was a level of understanding, of longing and admiration in both their gazes. It felt nostalgic and bittersweet. They were each other's refuge all along, even when they didn't know it. Xavier had never laid his heart so bare to anyone before. He never opened up to anyone about his thoughts and feelings extensively. There was this quality about Helena that unlocked that side of him. It made him want to confess everything to her, lay all his cards in the clear and let her see him for who he truly is, because he's somehow known she'd never judge or ridicule or break his heart and soul.