I'll Be Good, I Will (Brahms Heelshire × Reader)

11

First Person P.O.V - (Y/N)

-Brahms and I had successfully stacked enough snow up to make the first wall of our igloo, packing it up tight and heavy as snowflakes fall from the sky for another light storm. I lifted my head and I stuck my tongue out, catching the snowflake that was going to first land on the top of my head, and I catch Brahms' awkward stare. I can't help but giggle at it.
-"Some kids liked to catch snow." I tap on my bottom lip, and then I watch as he looks up.
-He makes a deep aaaaa sound, holding his mouth open, but since the mask kept his face face covered, all that happened was the flakes landed onto his porcelain skin. He drops his head, the snow sticking to his cheeks that would be red as roses if they were real. I smile, reaching up and brushing them off lightly, before I crouch down and fill the plastic container full of snow. I stack this block on top of the other, and Brahms sits down in the piles below, wearing snow pants this time so it doesn't wet his legs.
-I turn to him, spotting the snow that sticks to his hair before looking at his eyes as he seemed to be distant. "What's wrong Brahms?" I ask, getting on my knees next to him, and he finally looks at me.
-He shrugs, then looks down, staring at the snow that specked the tops of his boots. "My mom and dad never let me go outside like this." He mutters, and the smile on my face seemed to fade. "Kept me in the walls."
-"Well I don't think you have to worry about that anymore now do you? You can go outside whenever you want now." He shakes his head, and I know why; but I must protest. "You know no one remembers the Brahms Heelshire that died a long time ago. Your name is lost in history. I didn't even know a Brahms Heelshire until I got here and met you. The world is far more accepting now, and if you walk around in a mask then it's just a prosthetic, y'know? People wear things to hide their insecurities all the time. It's alright."
-"Stop." I do so, and he finally looks at me. "Not happening. Never."
-"..I think one day that'll change." I reach over, running my fingers through his hair and I shake the flakes out of his locks. "When you're ready.. But you're missing out on so much, and you.." Would deserve even be the right word? Being a murderer and all.. "...You only live once, Brahms, y'know? Only once. You should experience everything you can while you got the chance. That's the whole point, experience."
-Brahms stands up, grabbing the plastic tub I was using and scooping up snow. "Igloo." He demands, a tinge of discomfort in his voice that makes it evident to me that I'm pushing my limit.
-I stand up with him though, and I nod, simply following his lead by grabbing a separate tool. We continued on with the igloo in silence, which the longer it went on the more awkward I felt. I finally looked at him, and when he felt my eyes on him, he looked back to me. I gave him a pleasant smile.
-"Did I ever tell you how pretty your eyes were?" I speak up, and he blinks at me. "They're very pretty."
-"...Thank you." He looks away from me sheepishly. It's been long enough, spending so much time with him, I've learned that he somehow manages to be so outright while being shy at the same time. "I like yours too."
-"Thank you Brahms." I say, my gloved hand absentmindedly reaching up and touching the necklace around my neck. "You are very sweet."
-He does nothing but hum, and quickly focuses all his effort into the igloo wall. As the tension of our previous conversation dissipated, I reach down and crumple up a ball in my hands, before I whistle at Brahms behind me. He turns around just in time for me to toss the ball and have it hit his chest. He flinched a little, but then glanced down, before looking at me, a hint of glee in his eyes as he realizes the war I stared. The bucket of snow was his weaponry; and I ducked under it just before it was chucked at me. I can't help but giggle as I rushed away from him, and he was scooping up more and chasing after me.
-I rounded the tree near by and I scooped up a couple of snowballs and tossed them back at him. I then squealed at how fast he was barreling towards me and I take a turn to rush away from him, grabbing at the hat sitting on my head to keep the wind from getting in my ears. Then I hear a thump and a whine, and I turn around to spot Brahms laying on his back, his own snow splattered across his body. I can't help but burst out laughing, my hands going to my knees as he slowly gets up on his elbows and looks at me with defeat in grief in his eyes.
-"Holy shit--" I cackle, my hand going to my stomach as I slowly approach him. "Brahms- Are you okay? Jesus man." I stop at his feet, a smile still on my face even as he glares at me in his own embarrassment. "Aw, sweetheart. I'm sorry.. Are you okay? Come here." I reached my arms forward, and he takes my hands, and then abruptly pulls me down with him.
-I held my breath as my body collided into his, and then I huffed, getting up on my arms and looking at his face. His eyes held satisfaction, and I couldn't help but smile at him.
-"Rude." I coo, then chuckling as I sit up, barely realizing the way my legs straddled his hips. He did notice however, glancing down and then back up at me with a look of surprise in his eyes. "You hurt at all, though?"
-He shakes his head, and he drops from his elbows and onto his back, his hands then sitting in the air like they don't know where to go. Another glance to where I'm sitting on him from he, and then I realize. I try to get onto my feet quickly, until he abruptly reaches up and grabs my arms, pulling me back down and holding me still on top of him. I stare at his face, searching for an answer as to why until I really catch on, until I remember how he feels about me. He's made it evident, and I'd be an idiot to try to act like I haven't noticed the way he stares at my lips, my body, everything. I can hear his breathing pick up.
-"..You look comfortable." I mention, and he nods, his grip becoming gentle as he stares into my eyes.
-"Kiss."
-His deeper voice was more commanding to me, and I faltered slightly above him. I glance at his lips as he releases my arm and taps on his masked bottom lip, and then places his palm on the side of my neck, reaching for me. I reconsider my choices here, wondering what would happen if I didn't do it. Worst he could do is throw a tantrum, right? Or he could murder me, but he promised not to harm me, and I'm making myself trust him regardless of my worry. But if I kiss him.. He might get more possessive, want to do more things to me. I look him up and down and, to be frank, would I really mind?
-I lean down slowly, both of my hands going to either side of his face, and his breath hitches as if he didn't actually expect me to do so. But as I inched closer, feeling the heat in his body pick up below me, the creak of the gate opening caused Brahms to get up immediately. He nearly shoved me off, before he wrapped his arms around me and picked me up before running towards the front door. I grab on tight, squealing as he jumps up the slippery steps and basically busts through the door itself. He set me down, and I nearly lose my balance as I watch him shut the door and then rush into the walls after pushing a painting aside.
-What the fuck just happened? My eyes blink at the painting sitting up on the wall and I can hear Brahms breathing on the other side. I take a deep breath, my hand going to my chest, and then there came a knock on the front door. I spot the elderly woman looking at me through the window, and I step forward, opening it up.
-"Hello!" She spoke to me, a bright smile on her face, and I smile back, feeling on edge. "I didn't imagine I'd ever see anyone in this house, thought I was delivering groceries to a ghost!"
-I laugh nervously, realizing that this was Winona, the elderly woman holding all the groceries with some surprisingly strong hands. "Yeah, I spend a lot of my time outside of home." I lie, talking right out of my ass. "You're a day early, huh? I thought you'd be dropping off tomorrow."
-"Oh, well when you registered for groceries you stated this day specifically. Must've been a typo, Mx..?" (Mx. Is the gender neutral version of Mrs./Ms./Mr.)
-"Mx.(L/N)." I nod, my smile going from less awkward to polite. "It's wonderful to finally meet you Winona. I have to thank you for your service, and at such an old age too. Shouldn't you be retiring? Relaxing at home rather than being this snow??"
-"Oh, I can't afford all that." Winona bats her hand. "Would you like me to deliver these to your kitchen?"
-No Guests. "Oh, I'm afraid my kitchen is quite a mess, and I'm just about on my way out soon. Thank you though, I can handle this. You shouldn't exert yourself anymore than you seem to anyways."
-"Oh, you youngins always underestimate me." She said, letting me take the grocery bags from her hands. "I've been working as a construction worker since I was nine, grown like a boy! A was a daddy's girl, yes I was! Always will be, even as I turn eighty-five next week!"
-"Eighty-five? You don't look a day over twenty."
-Her pleasant laugh causes me to smile, and she pats the side of my cold cheek. "Oh, you flatter me! The world needs more people like you." Her smile was sweet and kind, and she brought her hand back.."Take care now! I have deliveries to make."
-"Stay safe Winona."
-"You too, Mx.(L/N)."
-She turned around and astonishingly walked down the stairs with no difficulty. I closed the door behind her, and I let out a sigh, before I pick up the bags and carry them to the kitchen. Rumbling in the walls, Brahms comes out in the kitchen from god knows where, and I look at him, his body stiff.
-"She seems nice." I say, and I dig into a bag, finding the carpet cleaner that Brahms ordered. I pull it out and set it on the dining table. "Scared you pretty bad though, how are you feeling Brahms?"
-"Hm." He started taking off his winter clothes, dropping them off on the table next to the cleaner and then standing before me as I begin organizing.
-"Brahms, how about you help put the fruits and vegetables in the fridge."
-"..I wanna.." I look at him, noticing how quiet he got. Then he looked away, before turning around and walking away from me.
-Really missed a moment, huh?

-He was quiet during lunch, and quiet throughout the rest of the day. All throughout school(which I fricken learned that school is after lunch since I JUST found the schedule which means all the other parts of the story are inaccurate so we're just going to forget how incorrect I am about literally everything), and even during dinner. He seems upset, but he was grown enough to just avoid me rather than look me straight into the eyes. This changed at bed time, after I tucked him in, and then gave him his kiss goodnight.
-"Were you going to?" He asks me, and I look down at him from the doorway. He's staring at me, sitting up. "Would you?"
- My lips part slightly, the mood shifting. I glance past him, before I close my mouth, shrugging. "It felt like the right moment.. It's all about timing, sometimes. Figure I'd like to put meaning into things like that, y'know? Make it memorable." I then snicker. "You running faster than a scared rabbit was pretty memorable in itself though."
-"I was scared."
-"I know.. But you have nothing to be scared of. I'll protect you, remember? Promise." I poke my own chest, above my heart. "Have a goodnight Brahms, alright? Sleep well."
-His head turns away from me as I slowly step out and close the door behind me. I sigh, looking at the floor, thoughts racing through my head. Do I want him as much as he wants me? How can I go from being afraid of him to.. This? What did he do to me??