I'll Be Good, I Will (Brahms Heelshire × Reader)

23

First Person P.O.V - (Y/N)

-My hands were sore and aching as I grabbed a hold of the lawn mower once again, Brahms watching me from afar with a bunch of sticks in the wheelbarrow. I turn and I look at him, giving him an annoyed look that causes him to look away. He knows I'm upset because he won't help, but he won't help because he simply doesn't get the point. The snow had all melted away and the grass was still coming back to life, taking its time doing so too. But to clean up the yard and prepare for the spring? The overgrown grass was just fine, according to him.
-The mower finally unlodged itself and I stumbled back with it. I would've imagined that with a manor like this, they would have a large mower that would be seated and drove, but I suppose for the front yard they had this.. Plus, whatever vehicle like lawn mower they had was stolen somehow. Brahms specifically told me he looked out the window one night to listen to the rumbling and watched a couple of dumb teenagers drive off and through the back yard with it.
-"Finally, jesus." I push it aside and I look at the run down shed it was stuck in, the door having fallen on top of it and unmoving from its place. "Brahms, are you done with the sticks yet?"
-"Yes." Brahms groaned, his arms hanging low from his body as he attempted to show off just how aggravated he was with the job with his body.
-Much to his dismay however, I ignore this. "Good." I pat my hands down on the jeans I slipped on this morning, keeping my hands off of the white button up that Brahms provided me with. "After this we can pick up all the pieces of bird bath and then this place will be clean and peachy."
-"Sure."
-"Hey, does this not beat dusting the house for an hour?"
-"It's still boring."
-"Chores are always boring Brahms, but at least you're doing something new other than.. I don't know, vacuuming." Even though most of the time Brahms is too eager for playtime to do his chores right.. However when he focuses on cleaning he is basically a god tier janitor from heaven. "Can't you be optimistic about this for a few seconds?"
-He takes a swift look around and then shrugs, looking at me. Of course he doesn't get it, but by the time this place is bright with green and color, he ought to see it. I pause to think for a moment before I smile.
-"You know, you got plants inside your wall room right?" He nods hesitantly in response. "Well, if you ever wanted more plants, they could be out here in the sun. You've got a pretty good green thumb, and you could make the house look pretty."
-"Sounds hard."
-"Yeah, but at least you'll have something to put your heart into, other than me."
-"I don't put my heart into you? I put my--"
-"Brahms."
-"Oh. OH. Right." He puts his hands in front of himself and mutters an embarrassed apology that makes me laugh.
-"You're good at taking care of plants, Brahms. It's just a suggestion. There are many amazing things you can do with a clean yard.. Now, help me with bird baths."
-Then he groans as he pushes the wheel barrow with himself to follow me.

-i had zipped up my light jacket later in the day and Brahms took my hand as soon as my hands were free. I watched as he pulled the gate closed behind him and then looked down at me, still as nervous as ever to be outside his home but he's done it once already.
-"I'm safe right?" He asks me, and I give him a nod. "You will protect me?"
-"Yup."
-"And I will protect you."
-"Certainly."
-"And if we see people we ignore them, and if they talk to us you handle it."
-"Yes, Brahms. Yes." I reach up and I pat his shoulder lightly, before I pull him along further away from the house. "We're going to try to go out a little further this time."
-"Why?"
-"So that you can get more accustomed to the world."
-"Why?"
-"So then we can go out to eat?"
-"Why?" I stop and I look up at him, and then he shuts up at the annoyed twinge in my eye. "Sorry."
-I sigh, stifling a secret laugh before I continue to pull him along. "It's all for the better, Brahms." I tell him. "You're going to love the outside world once we get you going out."
-"Okay. I trust you."
-"I trust you too." I smile, and soon we're simply walking.
-I'm taking in the sight of trees, and although it is a very simple sight, I hadn't seen them in a while, so I'm enjoying it. When I look at Brahms, he's doing the same thing, just a little bit more hectic than I am about it. I reach for him, grabbing his arm and I give him a smile when he looks at me.
-"Don't be scared." I tell him. "You're safe, alright?"
-"...Greta took care of me two years ago." He stated plainly, looking forward, and I just stare at him in wait for him to continue on. "Malcolm was our delivery man then. Cole was her ex-boyfriend. I killed him, and Greta and Malcolm ran away."
-"..So are you afraid because you think that they've told everyone about you?"
-"I'm scared because the police never came.. My mom and dad told me that if anyone ever seen me they'd call the police and they'll take me to jail."
-I nod silently, looking forward. "Well, then we can make sure we stay away from police, right? Not like we'd just go up and say hello to them anyways.. We're gonna be fine Brahms."
-"Okay. I know."
-I give a brief nod before we walk in silence. Silently he swings our connected hands between the both of us and at the moment I'm enjoying the scent of fresh air and just having his company in general. It was nice not having to treat him like a child on the constant, which he's slowly getting better at. He still demands that I follow the schedule and read him to bed, which I don't mind in the end. But he's done more around the house, and slowly and subtly he speaks with his real voice. I can hear it every time he talks to me, and his tone is shifted just slightly. I'm less of his servant and more like his partner now. I suppose the romance novels that I pick out and suggest to him really pay off.
-He stopped abruptly beside me. We passed where we ended our walk last time, so I should've expected to see something after. A few cars, and a few people stand at the side of a white truck, selling food to these people, and I can tell Brahms is just not having it. I look up at him.
-"Hey, Brahms." I shake his hand, and he finally looks down at me with those wide eyes. "Are you alright?"
-"..I-I, uh.." He clears his throat. "I'm not scared."
-"I never said anything about you being scared."
-"Well I'm not."
-I can't help the roll of my eyes as my other hand reaches into my back pocket. "I've got some money." I pull out the twenty, it was in the pants I wore yesterday and I just stuffed it into these ones. "Do you wanna try to get something to eat?"
-"..What?"
-"That's a food truck Brahms. It sells food."
-"But we have food at home?"
-"Yeah, but this is food we can eat in between lunch and dinner tonight.. I know you're picky though."
-"Do you want it?"
-"I wanna try." Mainly to see how he'll react to people so close.. Also to see how other people will react to him.
-This is probably going to be the dumbest idea I've ever got. If I'm unlucky I'm going to end up with multiple dead bodies or a Brahms in handcuffs. But, it could also go alright. I don't want him to be afraid, and the only way I know how to cure him of that fear is to make him face it.
-"C'mon." I pull him towards it slowly, and he was stuck to the ground for a second before he even started moving.
-He huddles up behind me close, his head down and his eye sockets filled with black shadows. When we get closer, these strangers turn and look at him for a split second or more before lookign away quickly. They minded their business, even as we stood in line, and Brahms' hand tightened around mine so hard. When we got to the truck, the man inside looked at Brahms and chuckled.
-"What? Is it Halloween or something?"
-"He just got it." I excuse. "Don't mind him.. So, I would like--" I name off what was on the menu, making sure to check the price before I make the finality, before I look up at Brahms. "Tell me what you'd like?" I point towards the menu, and thus he is reading it thoroughly.
-He leans down and whispers to me. "What is a coco cola?"
-"it's a drink."
-"...I want ginger ale."
-"Do you not want something to eat?"
-He pauses, and I could feel his eyes glancing to the mam taking our orders and then back at me. "I don't know what any of those things are."
-I shake my head a little before I smile and I start explaining, knowing his taste buds well, I tell him the one he'll probably want. Then he leans down to tell me he wants it, like I expected, and then our order is made.
-We step away after he hands me any drinks I could've ordered, and Brahms takes a quick look around before leaning down to whisper to me. "The people here look at me funny."
-"That's because you're wearing a spooky mask." I say back, and then I whisper. "They think it's a Halloween costume thing."
-"Oh.. Is that good?"
-"Yeah, I think so." I nod. "Are you alright?"
-"My heart's racing really fast."
-"Alright. Make sure to keep breathing deep and slow."
-I pat my extra hand against his chest lightly, and he nods before he steps closer and hides his face into my neck. I smile just a little bit, taking a quick glance around our environment before I pull Brahms along to sit at a random picnic table that is in fact there for relevance to the story.
-I feel him scoot up close to me, his body huddling up tight against me and then he rests his chin on top of my head. I keep myself sat up enough to handle his weight as he lays against me, his hand leaving mine and then wrapping his arms around me possessively. I suppose his train of thought went from being insecure and afraid for himself to jealous of the idea of people looking at me. I pull out the phone sitting in my pocket and I look at what Loki had recently sent me regarding our previous conversation.
-"I don't know what omd means." Loki sent me. "Allen keeps telling me that Rick has omd and he won't tell me what it is he just keeps saying oh my god"
-I feel a small smile come onto my face before I respond. "He probably meant omg.. Guess who got our neighborhood favorite family friendly rat man out of the house?" I send, and I snap a picture of Brahms, causing him to snap his head over just as I send it.
-"Rat man?" Brahms mutters and I hold my breath for a second.
-"Sometimes the phone changes words for me and makes it say things I didn't say.. Uh, you have R and A in your name so it thought I said Rat and the rest filled itself in."
-"Are you lying to me?"
-"No? Why would I call you rat man?" Because he lived in the walls.
-"...Yeah I guess."
-I let out a sigh through my nose before I feel my hand buzz, and I look down to see Loki's response.
-"What did you put yourself on a fishing hook and lure him out of the house or something?"
-I snicker. "I've been talking him into coming outside for a while. He came out all on his own."
-"horrible decision the man is gonna kill someone"
-"Not if I can help it. I've got him under control."
-"Get one of those leashes that they put on toddlers thatll keep him. No wait he's gonna follow you around like a lost puppy no matter what right?"
-"Bro why are you going ham on my man right now?"
-"because he's easy to pick on. I bet he's mad right now because I know for sure his nosy ass is reading right now."
-"I'm not mad." Brahms grumbles. "And I'm not nosy."
-"Then how did you know what he just said?"
-"...What did he say? Don't accuse me."
-I roll my eyes and I smile, before I respond to Loki. "Affirmative."
-"So since he's not a lil pussy boi do you think you can drag his tall ass to the party?"
-I stare at the screen, fingers hovering over it before I sigh. "No, I promised he wouldn't have to go if it meant him being willing to come out."
-"Shame. I'll guess you can't come neither"
-"No, of course not." I'm not even sure if I'd want to go without Brahms anyways. Loki might be capable of protecting themself, but I don't think that includes me. Loki is a person who most definitely spends their time with a uncomfortable group of people. "I'm cool with it."
-"sure you are. At least he's getting out of the house I guess."
-"I'm happy with that. Maybe another party, or another time. Little by little. He'll get there."
-Brahms' hand reaches over and covers my phone, causing me to set it down. Once it is no longer in my attention, I lift my head to face him as he leans back to look at me.
-"Are you alright Brahms?" I ask, and he nods, before he leans his forehead against mine.
-"Tired."
-"What? Impossible. You've got more energy than I do."
-"We did boring housework all day." He whines. "I'm tired."
-"Oh hush, I did most of that work. All you did was stand around and push the wheelbarrow."
-"I picked up that bird bath though."
-"Only because I couldn't do it myself and I asked."
-"Your food is ready!" The trucker calls out to us, and I look over to face him. "You and the Michael Myers wanna be."
-"Thank you." I say, carefully removing myself from Brahms' grasp before I take our food back, and I look at the rat man as he stands behind me. "We'll eat this at the table."
-"Okay."

-"Are you upset with me?" Brahms asked randomly as I was changing into my pajamas, and I looked at him.
-"What? Why would I be??" I furrow my brows. "I'm not if it's just.. How I'm acting. Do I seem mad?"
-"No, but sometimes I can't tell." He puts his hands between his knees as he sat on his bed, seemingly timid and concerned as he also looked up at me. "I know I'm hard to take care of. My parents left because of it."
-"..Well I'm not your parents."
-"I know." A pause. "..If you really want to we can go to Loki's party."
-I stare at him, watching how he looks down at the ground. "You don't want to though.. I'm not even sure if you could take it neither. You were halfway into having an anxiety attack literally a few hours ago, and that was a group of less than ten people."
-"Yeah..But I want you to be happy."
-I smile, walking over, I cup his face and make him look up at me. "That's very sweet of you Brahms, but it's okay. You can't take it yet." I press a soft kiss to his forehead, and as I expected, he's pulling off his mask for a real kiss.
-He grabs me and pulls me down for it, his lips against mine in an instant, and slowly I crawl into his lap. What better way to prove I'm not mad?

(Yo sorry this part took so long to post I'm in another state lol)