Heart of a rogue

* Chapter 19 - relieving urges

Jenny taught me many important things. She taught me how to feel strong when I felt weak. She taught me wise lessons about self-acceptance and the way I grew up.

From her, I learned that living in the past wouldn't get me to the future. Look forward, keep your head high, and be proud of who you are as a woman.

She also taught me the art of herbal medicine. She gave me more knowledge than my mother ever did. In many ways, she was more of a mother to me than my own.

As I prepared the Liyu flower, I heard her voice in my head, guiding me through it. I had seen her prepare it countless times, and I had even assisted her. This time, I had to do it all by myself.

I brought the water to a boil and waited until it was at the perfect temperature. Declan was watching me from the corner of the room, with Joshua and Alani nearby. But I had asked them to give me space. If I messed this up, Sam would die because of me.

"You're nervous," Declan noted.

"I am. If I screw this up, he dies because of me."

"He's dying already," Joshua added.

That didn't matter. I gently unwrapped the roots of the plant and picked up the giant leaves, careful of the tiny barbs along the edges.

The sap we needed was inside those barbs. To release it, I had to cook the leaves just right. Placing them in boiling water for exactly three seconds would open the barbs. Too little time, and it wouldn't release the juice; too much, and I'd lose it altogether.

I focused on counting, my heartbeat steadying. Why did I need to be uncuffed for this? The answer was simple. With the cuffs on, I wouldn't be able to guarantee the precise timing. The best way to do this was to use my hands.

I braced myself and carefully lowered my hands into the boiling water. Pain shot through my skin, but I counted through it.

1...

2...

3...

I pulled them out quickly and placed them on a plate. Declan commented that it smelled like a potent, poisonous scent. I explained, "If someone drank it as it is, it could kill an Alpha, especially if consumed in large quantities. But in this amount, it won't kill quickly."

I squeezed the leaves, letting the juice cool as I grabbed the mortar and pestle to grind the lavender into a thick paste. I added the Liyu leaves, slowly working them together.

After that, I had to let the mixture cook on low heat for about two hours, waiting for it to thicken. I used the juice on the plate to drain the Liyu leaves before adding the paste. Over time, the thick paste would turn into a smooth substance.

When it cooled, it would thicken again. "For now, I'll give him a big spoonful of this, but after that, he'll only need a teaspoon a day. I made enough for about three months, so we're good for now."

"You're sure it will work?"

"If I'm a good daughter, it will," I answered, the words slipping out more vulnerably than I intended. Declan didn't know how much Jenny had done for me. Maybe she was the reason I was able to survive as a rogue.

I kept a close eye on the paste, sniffing it regularly to make sure it was nearly done.

When the smell finally changed, I grabbed the pot from the fire and carefully scooped the substance into a jar. "Let's go test it out."

Declan hummed but asked me to wait for a second. He pulled the cuffs from his pocket. "You need to put them on. I can't have you walking around camp without them. It sends a bad signal to the others."