Heart of a rogue

* Chapter 2

In the dimly lit office, the air felt heavy with tension as Doctor Eline sat across from me , her gaze unwavering despite the guarded expression on her patient's face. My expression was drawn tight with suppressed emotion. I sat with my arms crossed defensively, a silent barrier between me and her. I did not like speaking about my past, nor what happened with Leo. 

Yes, he ahd done so many wrongs. Yes, he was a psycho, but he meant something to me. Even if no one would understand. He wasn't always that psycho. But that's what becoming a rogue does to you. I didn't rip out hearts before either. 

"Lucy," Eline began, her voice gentle yet firm, "I understand this is difficult for you, but I need you to try to talk to me. Can you tell me about your first day with Leo after you were kidnapped?"

My response was a dismissive shrug, my eyes darting away from Eline's probing gaze as if to avoid the pain of relivingit. Why do you need to know? Why do I need to tell you, you of all people? 

Eline remained silent until I fed her some information. "It was just like any other day at the rehabilation camp," I muttered, my voice tinged with bitterness.

She remember Belle telling her she had to go to Declan. She remembered the fight in the bathroom. The feeling of her betrayal. That's why she rarely made friends. People were good at betraying eachother. The saddest thing about betrayal is that it doesn't come from your enemies, but always your friends. 

But Eline refused to accept her patient's stoic facade. She could sense the turmoil brewing beneath the surface in me, the anger and resentment simmering just out of reach. Taking a deep breath, she pressed on, her voice gentle yet insistent as she pressured me. "Lucy, I need you to trust me. You can tell me anything. What happened that day?"

For a moment, I seemed lost in her memories, my jaw clenched tight as I struggled to contain the flood of emotions threatening to engulf me. It wasn't just being taken from here, it was also Belle's betrayal. But mostly anger towards myself, how could I be so fucking stupid as to trust someone again? People just betray you when they can and if it benefits them. And then, with a surge of raw emotion, the words spilled from my lips, a torrent of anger and despair. "I was betrayed by my fucking friend, bleeding and then I almost escaped but Leo showed up and broke my wrists and ankles," I confessed, my voice trembling with suppressed rage.

Just speaking his name... "Over and over again, just to get me to that pack. And then he locked me inside, like some kind of animal.I was locked up again, caged again. I wasn't allowed to go outside, to see the sun or feel the wind on my face. He knew what that meant to me, he fucking knew. "

But even as I spoke, I refused to delve into the details of the abuse, my words veiled in a cloak of anger and defiance. Eline sensed my reluctance, the instinct to protect myself from the horrors of her past at all costs. ''What does that mean, Lucille, being locked again?'' She pushed. 

I scoffed, of course. We had been doing this sessions for about a month now. She wasn't making progress so she had complained to Declan. Who in turn told me to open up more. He told me I needed to cooperate or it would be back to the camp with my ass. In other words, I'll be locked up again.

I didn't have to open up to them, but I had to talk to Eline. They believed talking about it would make everything magically go away. 

I don't want to explain what it feels like. Feeling caged is awful, like I'm trapped and can't escape. It's a constant battle in my mind, as if I'm claustrophobic even though I have room to move. Just the thought of being behind a locked door or a fence makes me tense up, feel angry, and start to panic.

Because of my silence, Eline scribbled something in her notebook. ''We won't get anywhere if you don't open up.'' 

It made me smirk, she was fed up with me. But she kept smiling just because of Declan.

I hated it.

I hated this.

I hated every fucking one and this bitch was smiling at me? Fuck no.

"Alright, let's play this game. In the past, Leo tried marking me countless times—you know what that does to someone's mind. My own mate didn't think I was 'womanly' enough, even though he was supposed to be my way out of hell. As a kid, I was beaten, locked up, starved, and life as a rogue wasn't much different—broken bones, assaults, claws, scars, and, yeah, a whole lot of blood. Would you like the full details with that?"

She was taken aback by my outburst and gulped. ''Shouldn't you write that down?'' I added, nodding and pointing to her stupid notebook.