Courage: Dwayne Buenavides (Hectic Band # 1)

:Chapter 23

Arish's pov:

"Bakit ako?"

[ you're the only one that gets me... ]

"Ah, convenient person again" I can't believe him sa tagal ng panahon ayun pa din tingin niya saakin.

[ it's not like that, can we talk, please? ]

Maybe this is the right time to have our closure.

"Fine, let's go to cafe adriatico. I'll send the details"

[ Thank you, rish. ]

I hang up the phone, this is for my peace. I went to my closet to grab a hoodie. Sana hindi ako magsisi sa gagawin ko.

Pumasok na ako sa cafe at nakita siyang nakaupo dun, ayun pa din yung damit niya simula kanina "R-rish" I sat in front of him "I already ordered some matcha" I nod, so he remembers.

"What's up?" He smiled sadly and looked down. "I want to say sorry for everything I've done to you"

I've been waiting for those words all these years, but hearing them right now felt nothing.

"I'm an asshole, I know. I'm so sorry for making you feel like you're replaceable"

Nangingilid na yung luha sa mga mata ko pinipigilan ko pa din na wag umiyak. Hindi ko papakita sakanya na may epekto pa din yung mga sinasabi niya.

"I love her and you know that, but I like you" I looked down para hindi niya makita yung luhang tumulo sa mata ko.

I scoffed "Like? Sa apat na taon?" He slowly nodded "So everything you said and planned that included me was just like?" Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko ang sakit ng naririnig ko, i'm hurt. I already know the truth, but hearing it hurts a lot.

"Sinubukan kitang mahalin sa loob ng apat na taon na yun, i just realized that i hadn't moved on yet, pero as time goes by natutunan na kitang mahalin" giit niya saakin, pinunasan ko ang luha ko at nag iwas ng tingin sakanya "Pero hindi sapat para ako yung piliin mo?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This is too much for me to handle.

"You love me half that time? While I gave you my whole. Isn't that unfair?" I scoffed at him making him speechless "I loved her too much that I lost myself too" saad niya habang nakatingin sa baba. Sarap naman maging siya, mahal na mahal niya so he let her consume him.

"I can't blame you. Ako yung makulit, ako yung mapilit. Kaya it's my fault" he shook his head and gave me a piece of tissue so I can wipe my tears hindi ko pinansin yun at pinunasan ang luha ko gamit ang sleeve ng hoodie ko "It's my fault for loving you half"

"I was afraid to be alone, I was afraid that I wouldn't find love anymore when she left me"

"So all those four years convenient person mo lang talaga ako, your backburner." He didn't respond, instead he took my hand and held it tight "I'm so sorry" he cried.

"I get it dwayne. Naiintindihan na kita, hindi ko lang expected na masakit palang marinig to galing sayo, kasi binigay ko lahat" I closed my eyes to suck up the tears.

"It just hurts to know that, if the two of us is drowning you'll save her and leave me drowning" Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at tinignan siya "Still, thank you for hurting me. I wouldn't reach my place right now kung hindi moko sinaktan"

I stood up ready to leave when he hugged me from behind "I love you" he whispered, I smiled bitterly "You don't love me. You just like the idea of me loving you"

Hinawakan ko ang braso niya para putulin ang yakap niya. Hinarap ko siya at tignan sa mata "I forgive you. Kaya kung guilty ka, please don't, kasi ok na ako."

I pat his shoulder and gave him a small smile "I'm proud of what you've become, I'm also proud that you owe up to your mistakes and apologize for it, but I'm sorry, I won't let you consume me again" Saad ko sakanya at nag lakad na paalis

Hindi dahil mahal niya ako ay babalik na ako. Hindi na kami babalik sa dati, hindi na kami tulad ng dati.

I cancelled all my schedule the next day, hindi nag wowork utak ko. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. Nakaupo lang ako sa couch mag damag nanonood, kumakain. I was just slacking the whole day. Napabalikwas ako ng tingin nung nag ring yung phone ko, it's elai.

"May sakit ka ba? I heard you cancelled your photoshoot today and you have a fucking explaining to do! Nakita ko picture sa Facebook kasama mo ang hectic!" I sighed

"Punta ka dito let's drink" pinatay niya ang tawag

After a few minutes bumukas na ang condo door ko revealing elai dala dala ang dalawang boteng absolut vodka at Isang bucket ng chicken "Mag papaka lasing ba tayo?" She laughed and went to my kitchen to grab some things.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko at inabot and shot ng vodka "Kwento, NOW."

"Nag catch up kami ng hectic, tapos kinagabihan nun nag closure kami ni dwayne sa cafe" nanlaki ang mata

"Putcha!? Nag sex kayo!?" Singhal niya at napashot ng mataas "Ansabi!? Ano ginawa!? Yung totoo!?" I shook my head and took a bite of the chicken

"Nag sorry minahal naman daw niya ako pero di enough para ako mapili" she smiled sadly as she looked at me.

"Real talk ah, di sa minamadali kita pero, maybe it's time for you to forgive so you can free yourself" sabi niya at nginatngat ang manok.

"Wag ka na mag sinungaling saakin alam ko na he still affects you hanggang ngayon kasi nanghihinayang ka sa lahat ng pinag samahan niyo pero let me tell you. Masarap sa pakiramdam mag patawad, that's the best revenge you can do"

Forgiving is also setting my self go from all the hurt.

So maybe I'll try.