Human

Chapter Fifteen: Pack Scars

Pack Scars

Lies and secrets was what my life was becoming. Lies that I was alright on the inside, that nothing was the matter. Lies that Sam and his pack were just normal human boys who enjoyed each others company.

I couldn't tell Charlie because it had be a secret. I couldn't tell Mike the truth because he wasn't special enough. I couldn't tell Bella because she wasn't an imprintee to any of the three pack members.

It wasn't easy lying to my dad about the real reason why the three La Push guys were almost always at the house when I was. It wasn't easy telling Eric to shove off when he suggested doing a movie night. I couldn't remember the last time that Eric was important enough in the last few months for me to even think about him.

He had faded to the background, all but forgotten as I didn't talk to him as much as before. Our classes were different, with only one that we shared together and even then we didn't really talk. He had became less important then Mike in my life and that was only because Mike had learned about vampires.

It wasn't this hard before the Cullen's were gone. Before it felt like my life more of a balance to it. But that was before everything changed, before Edward left my sister in the woods and Jasper disappeared without saying goodbye.

But I wasn't the only one having trouble keep all these secrets on the inside. The pack was having more trouble then me as they could literally expose their own secret. I started noticing it after Thanksgiving that something was bothering Paul.

He was angry more often for some reason.

I tried asking Jared but he didn't tell me what was bothering Paul. He just said to give the other boy time. All Paul needed was space and time but I didn't believe that.

Paul needed balance.

So here I was hoping to find a way to help Paul get that balance that he needed but I didn't know what shifters needed. Sam and Jared appeared to be more set in their lives, able to handle the change that was thrown at them. Jared had Kim and Sam had me.

Paul didn't have anyone to count on.

I wanted to change that. I wanted him to know that he could count on me as a friend. I already knew his secret and there was no changing that but maybe I could help him. There had to be a way to help the boy not feel so angry at the world.

"Thanks for meeting me, Paul." I said as he approached me.

"It wasn't my decision to make." Paul answered as he folded his arms together.

Letting out a sigh I turned to look back out at the ocean. "I just want to help but I don't know how to do that. I don't know what I can do to help you Paul with this secret." I said knowing it was better not to bet around the brush. "Let me help you."

"Help me? How do you expect to help me!" Paul demanded as I faced him once again, his body shaking from his lack of control. "Stop treating me like a child that's about to throw a fit! And stop looking at me like I'm always about to lose control!"

I raised my hand. "I didn't realize I was." I said, taking a step back.

So far I have been lucky and haven't seen anyone in Sams pack shift before. I don't know what they looked like in their wolf forms, I never asked. I don't know how big they were, if they were the size of an average wolf or not.

"You're doing it! I'm not going to lose control!" Paul growled, his chest vibrating. "I'm able to keep this a secret. You, Sam, Jared! You don't need to worry about me losing control and showing everyone that I'm a freak!"

"You're not a freak." I said shaking my head. "I never thought you were a freak, Paul. I trust that you'll able to keep this a secret. You don't need to hold this weight on your shoulders alone. We can help you."

Paul eyes darkened as he body started to shake harder.

"I didn't need your help!"

"Paul! Calm down!" The order didn't come from me but from Sam as he and Jared appeared out from the tree-lines. "I said calm down."

I frowned, knowing that telling to calm down didn't always help things out.

"What are you doing here?" I asked tilting my head as I looked at him. "I clearly didn't ask you to come."

"You don't think I was going to just let you put yourself in danger did you?" Sam demanded as he and Jared got to us fairly quickly. "Of course, you did." He said seeing me nod in reply. "Go get calm, Paul." Sam ordered as Jared grabbed his shoulder and tugged.

"I was having a very nice conversation with him, you know." I said crossing my arms. "Paul isn't a danger to my life. He wasn't going to hurt me." I stated believing in my words.

There was just no way that Paul would hurt me. We might barely be friends but I couldn't see him purposely hurting someone. I just wouldn't believe it. He was still a kid who just didn't know how to control his anger.

"You don't know what, Lilies." Sam said rubbing his nose as he looked like he didn't know what to do with me. "Paul just needs time."

"So give him all the time that he needs but he shouldn't be facing this alone! Sam, you should understand what he's going through. You went through this all alone, not doubt confused about what was happening to you." I stated, not knowing just how difficult it was for him when he went through it. "He's a kid! He's barely 16 years old. He doesn't have anyone to talk to about his problems. You have me and Jared has Kim! Paul doesn't have anyone!"

"The elders..." Sam didn't continue the sentence he stated when he saw the look on my face. "We're doing everything we can for him, Renee. Paul knows what it means now that he's transformed. He knows he can always come to me."

I shook my head as Sam wasn't getting the point.

"Don't you understand, Sam, what I'm trying to say." Why couldn't he see that Paul need more then just him and Jared. More then the elders that watched over the pack and told the legends. "You've all been through it but it's the hardest for him. He had to leave his friends behind because of this secret. You still talked to me after you little disappearing act. You stayed my friend even though you shouldn't have and protect me one night, revealing what you were. He doesn't have that option."

Paul didn't chose this, none of them did. I couldn't blame him for being angry at everything around him.

"You told me that your minds are linked. That it was near impossible to keep something hidden from the other two. The only time you're really alone is when your human." I reached my hand out and touched Sam's chest. "Can't you see what Paul is so desperately shouting when he's in this form. He's angry at the world for making him become something that he didn't want to be. The legends the tribe tells are now your three reality and that shouldn't be an easy adjustment."

Sam let out a air of breath as his hand covered mine. "Don't worry about Paul, Lilies. I'm looking out for him and I'll be there helping him through this. By the looks of things you're going to have his back now as well, so Paul doesn't have to be alone in this anymore." He said, his tone soft as I looked at him with a smile.

"I'm just worried that the three of you have scars that even I can't help with." I said shaking my head. "Now let's go find Paul and Jared and have them make cake!"

Sam chuckled as he shook his head.

"I don't think you need anymore cake." He said causing me to shoot him a glare. "It came out wrong."

"Right, cause saying I don't need any more cake could sound differently." I grumbled tugging my hand away from him. "I'll find them myself. I don't need your help."

"It came out wrong." Sam repeated.

"Suuure it did." I said walked away from him and in the direction I saw Paul and Jared go. "We'll enjoy the cake without you."

"Lilies!"

"Sam!"

I grinned, making sure that he couldn't see it as I went in search of the others. Even if I couldn't find them I was sure there was other things to do in La Push. They had to have place that sold cake somewhere.