maple syrup | remus lupin [1]

160. goodnight

CLAUDIA CAME BACK to the tent with the ice. She also came back with emptiness inside of her.

She wasn't ready to leave them. Not at all.

She had counted. In just 16 hours time, all she knew would be torn apart. Everything she knew would be gone. And she would become the person she most feared. The person who was cruel and vicious and evil to her favourite people.

In just 16 hours, their story would be over.

Claudia honestly didn't even understand how she was functioning. Her body was on some sort of autopilot mode, because she walked and sort of talked, even though she felt nothing but the essential need to disappear and never come back.

The anxiety was worse than ever before, and the worst part was that she would soon be going home with Remus. She would say goodbye to her friends soon.

And then, the next morning, she was going to break the beautiful, beautiful heart of the boy who immediately kissed her on the temple as she sat back down at the table.

She had no idea how she was going to approach it. Was she supposed to tell him that she didn't love him anymore?

No, that wouldn't work. He knew that she did. Of course he did, she had told him several times already that day! And, besides, things were like they used to be between them except for the fact that Claudia was more anxious and clingy than normally.

And then, she wondered what would happen if she told him the exact reason why she was leaving.

But that, as she had already realised, would only cause him to do his own thinking. He would beg on his knees for her to run away with him, and she would eventually agree because all she wanted was to be with him. And then he would leave the wonderful and unlikely life he was living where he was as loved as he was.

She just couldn't allow herself to let him make the decision this time, despite how much she hated it.

She also wondered what would happen if she made sure that he knew that she still loved him, and that she always would. It wouldn't be a surprise, but she knew that he would ask.

And she knew that she would say yes.

So, Claudia figured that the one way she could do it was by telling him how it was, but leaving Evan and Nolan and all that shit out of the explanation.

She was going to tell him that he deserved better. That she was a threat to his safety. That he would be happier and better off without her. And that everything was going to be fine; for both of them.