New Start

8

After I got home that night from bumping into that boy, I sat down on my bed and logged on to tumblr.

                I was on tumblr, but I couldn’t help but let my mind wander back to the conversation I had with Zayn.

                I never thought that he would like me, and I never thought that we would ever be together, but now Zayn wants to see me, and I’m not sure how I should be reacting to that.

                I get up and walk to the bathroom, and while I’m in there, I examine my body.

                I haven’t been eating much still, but I haven’t been cutting as much either.

                Being here hasn’t put stress on me, and I haven’t been having as much anxiety as I used to back at home.

                I still have paranoia though, but I learned to keep that under control.

                My eating disorder is totally different though. I don’t want to throw up my food anymore, and I want to be able to eat, but I can’t.

                Whenever I eat I throw it right back up because my stomach cannot handle the food anymore.

                I moved across the bathroom to turn on the bath water and plug my phone into the iHome I have set up in the bathroom. I scrolled through my albums until I got to Ed Sheeran’s, and turned it on.

                I walked back into the room part of my hotel room, and got out pajamas and brought them back with me into the bathroom.

                By the time I got in there, the tub was filled with water, so I added some bubbles, and got in.

               

                A couple mornings later, I woke up to the sound of my alarm, and began to get ready for the new day.

                Every day this week I’ve been waking up getting ready, and then walking to the library.  I’ve also been texting Zayn a lot too.

                Zayn told me that things with him and Jessica ended poorly because of me.

 It turns out, Zayn has liked me for a long time, but he never knew what to do about it. When he found out that Jessica was starting to say mean things to me, he thought that if he asked her out, it would make her stop. I guess that didn’t work though because she caught onto what he was trying to do.

I guess it’s sweet that he would do that for me, but it’s so weird.

                As I arrived at the library, I greeted my boss, and went and took my place behind the counter.

                I’ve been thinking about staying here longer than originally planned, and I’m starting to consider buying an apartment here as well.

                I know I my mom will not appreciate it, but I’m happy here.

                I heard the bell on the door signaling that there was a new person here, but never thought anything of it, until I saw his face.

                It was the same boy I bumped into earlier this week.

                I knew he would not remember me, but I couldn’t help but hope a little, that he did.