When I Find You

Chapter 11

*Bang bang*
I immediately fell to the ground.
Before I could say my decision out loud, I noticed Jeremy standing at the door with a gun. I began to warn everyone but it was too late. The bullets went through my chest as if I was a thin piece of paper.
My eyes were drooping, but I could see everyone hovering around me. Blake was screaming 'call 911'. Ian was by my side patting my face,telling me to stay awake and that everything was going to be okay. Mathew and Evan ran after Jeremy after looking at me.
My eyes kept drooping away and suddenly they were completely shut.

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My eyes slightly opened and the first thing I saw was a bright light. I thought I was dying and headed for 'the light' but as I opened my eyes a little bit more and realized the light was coming from a ceiling.
I turned my head slightly and saw a head lying on my lap. I snaked around on the bed and the head finally got up from my lap. It was Blake. I smiled at him and his face lit up. He immediately jumped up and that's when I noticed Ian sitting in the corner of the room on a chair. For some reason I wanted him to be the one in my lap. He woke up when Blake began screaming for doctors. He saw me awake and the biggest smile crept on his face. He got up and took one step towards me and then he looked at Blake and say back into the chair.
The doctor came in and checked everything. "Everything is fine. You may go home tonight after we finish a few more tests." He said. I nodded and he left the room.
"Blake im hungry. Can you get me something to eat please?" I asked.
He nodded his head and left the room. I patted the side of my bed, indicating that I wanted Ian to come next to me.
He slowly walked over to me with his gaze never leaving my eyes. He sat next to me and hung his head down. I lifted his head up by his chin and pulled him into a warm hug. He needed to know that what happened wasn't his fault.
"Hey" I said. "I'm fine.
"No. No your not. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have walked out. I hurt you so many times and it kills me more than it may kill you. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry" he sobbed the last part.
"Don't you dare say this was your fault. This was not your fault. Yeah you lied to me. But if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have known that my whole life was a lie. I wouldn't have known that my real dad is suffering somewhere. I wouldn't have know that my uncle was this bad. You've opened up my eyes to reality and for that I'm so grateful to you." I kissed him on the cheeks and held his hand in mine.
"I didn't want to lie about Blake. I'm sorry about that. I ruined the only part of your life that was perfect. But I can't deny it anymore, Jessica... I like you. A lot. Your the first person I've opened up to in a while. I don't think I've ever cared about someone as much as I care about you. You've seen sides of me that no one has ever seen before. When I kissed you. It wasn't just a kiss. It meant something. No, it meant more than something. I don't expect you to choose me because we barely know each other and I don't deserve your trust after what I've done but just know that when I said I regretted our kiss, it was only because I felt bad about lying. Trust me if I could kiss you every second of every day, I'd be the happiest man on earth." Ian spilled his heart out to me and I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing ever. I felt different with Ian. I liked our heated arguments. It showed that we cared. My feelings with Blake and Ian, they're completely different. When I'm with Blake, I feel like I can be myself and I know that I love him. I know that he'll always love me back.
I smiled at Ian and gave him a small passionate kiss. This. This was right. This felt right. Our kisses weren't just kisses. It was a way of showing how much we cared about each other. It was a way of showing our passion and affections. It wasn't just a kiss. When I kissed Blake, I didn't get that feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Blake's kisses just felt like a routine, like something you had do do every morning. And Ian's kisses, they were something you needed...something you wanted...something you yearned for.

"Where are the guys?" I asked.
"Oh they are at home. They were with me all night." He replied.
"Did they catch Jeremy?" He shook his head no. Shit. So that scoundrels out there somewhere.
"Sorry. They tried so hard. They basically feel completely responsible for everything." He said.
"Well they shouldn't. They did the best they could and I love them for that." I smiled

Blake entered the room again with my food. He saw Ian sitting next to me and gave him a cold stare. But Ian didn't budge, he didn't care about blames cold stare. He just kept looking at me.
"Thank you Blake" I said.
"Yeah." He said annoyed.
"What the hell is your problem?" I asked rather rudely.
"This asshole." He said while pointing a finger at Ian. But once again Ian didn't care. He just looked at me and smiled.
"Don't you dare call him that" I scowled.
"Who the hell do you pick?" He yelled. "Do you pick me? The man you fell in love with. The man whose always been here for you, even though you have a shitty family or the man you've been whoring around with?"
My mouth hung open and this time Ian looked at Blake. He gave Blake his cold stare and I could see the fear in blakes eyes.
"What the fuck did you just say?" Ian said.
"Ummm.. I-i didn't mean it like that.." Blake stuttered.
Ian was ready to pounce onto Blake but I grabbed his arm and asked him to stop.
"Ian" I said.
"Yea?" He replied. And I giggled.
"I pick Ian." Ian's face lit up and he ran over to my side and gave me a bear hug. Blake threw my food to the ground. "You know what. I'm happy for you. Congrats. " he left and slammed the door. He took it better than I expected. I rolled my eyes and kissed Ian. I know I'm taking a huge risk here but after the way Blake just treated me, I never want to see him again.