Antidote ;Sequel to Kryptonite;

Chapter Nine: Unexpected

(Harry's Point Of View)

She was right in front of me. All it took was for me to reach out to her and I could've held her in my arms again. Has it really been a year? Her hair has grown longer and has more natural highlights throughout it. It cascaded down her curves and hit where her belly button would be if her shirt would allow for it. God, her skin looked so soft and smooth.

I was so afraid to blink. If I blink, will she poof out of thin air? What if this was all an illusion? I thought she would hate my guts and never want to see me again. I hate my own guts for what I did. I would give anything to go back in time and fix everything. I would actually try and maintain what we had. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me because I was a fucking coward. I couldn't look her straight in the eyes and tell her how I felt. I pretended like that certain four letter word didn't exist at that time.

When I was with her, the entire world stopped for us. Every kiss we shared lasted hours. It was never going to end. Or so I had hoped.

I stared at her as her jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "Christina?" As her name passed my lips, I felt my heart squeeze. I can't do this. I couldn't hurt her again. I put on the toughest face I could manage before I turned on my heel and went back into the bus. My heart was nearly thumping out of my chest. Everything was blurry as I stumbled to the couch. I swear I'm going to faint. The door ripped open before banging close.

 "Who the fuck does she think she is? I can't believe her. I never liked her, you know. She just waltzes in and is all 'Harry? Oh Harry!'" Making her voice several octaves higher, Natalie continued to whine about Christina. "She had no right coming back here. She had no right to come back stage. Who does she think she is?" Natalie rattled off everything she hated about Christina.

Does she still have feelings for me? Do I even want her to? No, I couldn't. I couldn't let myself get back into this mess. I already fucked everything up once- I really don't need to do it again. She was gone forever as far as I am concerned. When I left, I ruined everything. If she ever trusted me, it would be stupid on both of our parts. Who knows what other idiotic decisions I would and will make.

When I ripped myself from Christina, I left behind something. Maybe it was my logical thinking or maybe it was my sanity. Whatever it was, I was different because of it. I can't stop drinking and hooking up with girls. By hooking up I just mean kissing them until I grow tired of their sloppy kisses. I couldn't have sex. I just couldn't. I keep trying to fill the void that I created but nothing helps. My temper is worse. My jealousy is a hundred times worse. When I saw Niall trying to text Christina- I nearly lost my shit. If it wasn't for Louis grabbing my arm, I would have thrown Niall's phone out the window. I made everyone swear they weren't going to contact Christina.

If I can't have her, no one can.

        I sat there while Natalie stalked back and forth in front of me. My eyes began to blur as I stared straight ahead. So much was going through my head at once that I couldn't focus on one thought. I began to tune Natalie out as she went on another rampage.

"Will you put a fucking sock in it, Nat?" I finally cracked. I could feel my eyes start to burn so I quickly rubbed them.

"Are you crying?" Her voice was going hoarse with her incessant yelling. "Harry, you know that everything is different. That isn't the Christina you know anymore. If it was, she would've run up to you. But did she? No! Screw her. You are so much better without her," Natalie tried to scrutinize the situation but nothing helped. "You're better off, Haz." I twisted my mouth in order to scream at her. I told her a thousand times to never call me Haz.

I leaned back and sighed, letting my hands rifle through my unruly locks. "Leave me the fuck alone, Natalie."

"Harry, don't get all crabby on me." Natalie pushed my arms away and plopped down in my lap. "Don't do this to yourself... again. You were getting so much better. Please don't let this set you back," she dropped her voice as she traced my face. Her hands were rough but I kept quiet. Nothing about her was like Christina. I had compared Natalie a million times to Christina but I never once said it out loud. Natalie had put up with so much of my shit.

"You're a good friend." I didn't look at her right away. She cupped my chin and pulled my face so I would look at her. Her smile wasn't true and I could immediately tell. No matter how hard she tried to force her lips upward, I could tell that calling her a friend hurt. But I didn't see her the way she wanted me to. She was our sound girl and I didn't want to get involved because it would cause major complications. I didn't want to get involved with anyone.

"I know I am. Now will you smile for me?" I rolled my eyes but she kept poking my face, intentionally shifting around in my lap. "Pretty please." I bit my lip and shook my head. I really wasn't in the mood for her games. My mind was elsewhere and we both knew it. "I know what will cheer you up," she got off of my lap and headed to the fridge. I sighed as I knew where this was going. Natalie pulled out a handle of Smirnoff and grabbed two shot glasses.

Each shot burned the back of my throat as it slipped down. Each time I closed my eyes I saw her face. No amount of alcohol could ever drown the feelings. The feelings that I have.

 The feelings I always had for Chrissy.

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Authors Note:

I hope you guys are enjoying this turn of perspective. Would you guys want more chapters in Harry's view? It's crazy how long I've been writing for. My birthday is coming up in 6 days I distinctly remember saying that 2 years ago. Anyways, I love you all and I hope you are liking Antidote now that Harry is in the picture ;)