Antidote ;Sequel to Kryptonite;

Chapter Twenty-Six: Antidote

I remember in the third grade, Maddison Beck dared me to flip over on the monkey bars. Something so small, like flipping over a bar, turns into something that literally stops time. I couldn't breath and I felt paralyzed as I laid on the ground, gripping my stomach in fear. Would it pass? Is this my end?

I had that same gut wrenching feeling as I stared at the last person I expected to see on my doorstep. My hand instinctively moved towards my stomach just like it had when I was eight. I felt my lungs being squeezed by an invisible hand. He left me literally speechless. I couldn't even mutter a simple sound. I watched as his eyes shot down to his shoes before slowly looking back up. Crystal green eyes that I had spent hours looking into met mine. My heart instantly felt torn. Do I slam the door in his face? A wave of emotions came crashing down at once and it took everything in me to keep the tears at bay.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" The words left my mouth before I could process them. I watched as his lips fell open and closed, like a guppy. I gripped the doorknob tightly, holding back the urge to close him out again. I was tired of this game. It was like I was picking a daisy to death. Does he love me? Does he love me not? But he showed up. A small voice nudged in the back of mind. A crinkle sound of movement came from behind him. He slowly moved his arm and a bouquet of flowers slowly appeared. My mouth was dry. He brought me roses.

"I..." My own voice trailed off as he chewed on his bottom lip. He took a deep breath like he was preparing for another performance. Unlike the stage, he looked incredibly nervous. Harry wasn't his bubbly self. On stage, he was a natural and oozed confidence. Now, he nervously brought his free hand up to his hair and pushed it off his forehead. I tried not to stare at the way his arm flexed and to keep my hormones in check. He had to just be sweating from the Texas heat.

"I'm an idiot. I've been an idiot... Bloody hell, Christina, I don't fully know where to start." He sighed and nervously chuckled to try and break the tension. That chuckle rattled me through me- God, I missed his laugh. I missed him. I had tried so hard to shut him out as if this past chaotic year was just a fairytale. That I had spun this fantasy and was so wavering on my own feelings. Are we together? Do I care about him? Do I not? My own feelings were terrifying because I wanted him to consume me and never let me go. I wanted to look at him so badly but I kept my eyes on the yellow roses. "I had this idiotic plan to come sing to you that one Texas song about yellow roses... The yellow rose of Texas is- I can't even sang it. Because when I looked up the lyrics I was mortified but... I know that yellow also stands for friendship which is Texas's motto, but I'm not trying to say I just want to be friends, that's not the reason I flew all the way here because I could've just called for that. Not that calling is the point but that point that- I want to see because..." He trailed off with a huff. "I'm just a mess." Yes, he was but so was I.

I bit back the smile that was forming on my lips and tried to keep a calm demeanor. Inside of me was a shipwreck of emotions and it was hard to focus on just one feeling. I tried to recall the facts. He was nervous. He was here, in Texas, on my doorstep. He stopped his tour to come see me and he's blubbering. I slowly looked up at him and caught those deep green eyes. His cheeks were tickled pink and I tried not to let a full smile breakout onto my face. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking him to continue.

"These are for you," he finally muttered and held his arm out. As I let go of the doorframe and reached for them, our hands touched. The energy from our night of passion- the last time I was with him- coursed throughout my body. He was my magnet and I was forever attracted to him.

"Christina..." He finally breathed as I pulled my hand break. His eyebrows scrunched and he ran his hand through his curls again. "I've had a lot of rubbish moments like this and you're supposed to cut me off by saying I talk too much... But I think the problem is, I talk too much and I never said the right things. I've said all the wrong things... many times. I left too many things go unspoken and I pushed you away too many times. Life doesn't give you many chances." He shifted his weight and for a moment, I thought he was taking a step forward. I wanted him to take a step forward.  "I can't even begin a proper apology. I've apologize so many times for the bullshit I've put you through. It started with Elizabeth-" his voice trailed off and he looked away from me. I wanted to reach out and tell him that I had forgiven him. It had taken time, but I understood the complication of it all. We had made so many mistakes together.