Antidote ;Sequel to Kryptonite;

Chapter Five: Discovery

        Blank. Blank walls. Blank heart. Blank slate.

        Blank walls; there was no decoration in this empty hotel room. Just a empty California king bed with plain white sheets. A small bathroom, mini fridge, bland couch, and a TV. Nothing exciting.

        Blank heart; I was starting over but it was extremely difficult. I told myself again and again that if they were truly your friends- they'd call. They'd leave a message. Anything instead of the harsh reality I was forced to face. They left me without a single word and turned their backs on me because of one person. I wasn't trying to make them choose between a career and a friend but couldn't they incorporate both?

        Blank slate; I had to push them out of my heart and mind for good. I was here for one thing. I was here to find my father. Not them. I demanded answers and it was time I got them. Why did he leave? What was so bad that he ran? I never remembered my parents fighting. All I remember is waking up to the one time they screamed at each other. My mother begging him not to leave, and in return my father shouted profanities. I watched from the top of the stairs, covered in a blanket of darkness, as my mother fell to the floor crying. I never got to say bye. It's time I get the answers I deserved.

        I rolled over for what felt like the millionth time that night. On the nightstand laid the letter I had kept close ever since I discovered it. Flicking on the bed side lamp, I traced the swirls and scribbles of my father's script. I ran my thumb over his address, mindlessly stroking it. It was starting to settle in that I was in California. The same state of him. If my mother ever found out what I did, I'd be so dead. But did it really matter? I graduated. I'm an adult now. I've changed.

        I've changed... I've changed a lot. Earlier, the old Christina would have let Niall back into her life instantly. I would have run to the ends of the Earth for him, for all of the members of One Direction. But now? Now I wanted nothing to do with them. At least I think so. I know it was for the better. My guard was back up. No way in hell was I about to put myself through last year again. All that pain and suffering taught me to never be too trusting. The love harbored into loathing.

        Love; did he really love me? Or was it all a gimmick for Simon's precious publicity. A scheme to keep Harry's behavior justified. Just the thought of some girl running her hands on him made me think what else has happened that I have no clue about. Who all has he been with since us? The thought made me want to vomit. He's probably forgotten all about me. Who would care about a small town low-life like me? I was nothing special. I didn't have the beautiful apperance of the thousands of fans willing to throw themselves at him.

        I was done being weak. I was done being same old Christina. I placed the letter back on my night stand and flicked the lamp off. I rolled onto my back and peered at the ceiling. It was going to be a long night.

        Little did I know that this would just be the start of a long "vacation". My morning was less than pleasant. The shower was like an ice bucket, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, and I ripped my socks. I had too many knots in my hair. I was exhausted and the coffee maker didn't work in this room. I threw on a pair of shorts, a simple white blouse, and a pair of gladiator sandals. I ran my hands through my hair one last time before I embarked downstairs. Maybe complimentary breakfast can turn my morning around. As I planned out my day, I hopped in the elevator.

        Today- I'll find the house. And tomorrow, I'll actually knock on the door. Baby steps. I hadn't even planned what I was going to say to him.

        Hey I'm your daughter.

        Hey- you birthed me and left.