Consume my broken heart

Chapter 32

POV Aiden

In the corner of my eye, I see her looking at me with those magnificent eyes. When she watches me it's like she sees through me, through my soul. She has a power over me I can't deny anymore. I've got a job later tonight, but I can't seem to set my mind to it. When I tried to work earlier today I couldn't set through. Seeing her distressed face in the back of my mind, made me stop every attempt of working through the files.

Five hours earlier

I look at Flinn and he looks at me with determination. We had found our next target. Gil Brimm is a convicted murderer who's well known in the world of drugs. Finally, someone wants this man dead.

"Can you handle it tonight?" Flinn asks with curious eyes. I look up from my glass of Irish scotch that made me think of home.

I'm not sure what to think, because the only thing I can think of is her. She occupies all of my time, controlling every thought. She consumes me wholeheartedly without me having a say in it.

I nod shortly to answer Flinn's question. I better get over with it tonight and hopefully, I'll have some time to see her tonight, maybe tomorrow. Depending on what's on my list Flinn will hand me in a few minutes.

"What's wrong man? You seem a bit off lately?" Flinn asks with crooked eyebrows. I was hoping he wouldn't notice my changing behavior, but I'm guessing it's too late now.

"It's nothing," I answer shortly, hoping he will let it go.

"Did you hear from home?" Flinn asks all of a sudden, making me clench my teeth in anger.

"Of course not." I retort in agony, swallowing the last drops of scotch.

"Hey man, I'm here for you if you need my help, son," Flinn says with concern.

Flinn has always been more of a father to me than my entire family cared for me. It doesn't say a thing having a rich family. I got all the luxury I wished for, two nannies, the newest things you can imagine, but what a child needed wasn't there. Love, a caring family, a supportive mother, all of those things haven't been a reality. How much I wished for a nice family with less money has never happened.

I'm staring at my empty glass, a heavy sigh escaping me. How can I have this wonderful woman in my mind when I'm still too damaged? I can't even take care of my own sane mind.

"It's a woman." I hear Flinn saying out loud, making me look up into his face. A wide grin spreads his face.

"Fuck off," I shake my head while playing with my glass.

"Alright, I get it. I'll shut up, for now." Flinn chuckles. "I just need to know if you're ready for tonight? This is a big guy." Flinn says in a serious tone.

"I know," I say softly.

"I'm not going to take you with us, Aiden," Flinn says after a minute of silence.

"Why not?!" I ask him roughly.

"Sort things out first with whatever that's holding you back. If you lack the fire, you can better quit man. Think about it and let me know. No hard feelings if you want to stop." Flinn explains to me and stands up from his seat. He waits for a few seconds, before leaving me alone with my own messy thoughts.

"Fuck," I mutter between breaths when I watch Flinn leave.

Before I know it some bartender chick stops across from me, showing me her bright teeth. "Can I get you something?" Her tiny frame was just tall enough to come above the bar. Her dark brown hair reminded me of another brunette.

"Irish scotch," I order her without giving her a second look. I don't even care she's showing a large amount of cleavage. I don't even know how the fuck I winded up like a kindhearted man. A man that always knew what to do. A man that took control in his bare hands because nothing would scare him away. Murder, piece of cake. Telling a girl how you really feel is such another level. This is the first time in my life I'm not sure of myself and I can't even trust my gut.

"Hey, you seem a bit off? Is something wrong? If you don't have time or you need to work, I'll understand." Grace brushes her tiny, soft hand over my arm. Work? If she would know, she's the reason I can't set my mind to work, to kill, to help Flinn with this deal. I have never bailed on him, until now.

"No, it's fine. Let us talk about something else besides work." I say to her with a soft smile.

"Okay," she nods carefully, turning her attention back to the road.

Normally, I would be feeling guilty for not helping Flinn, but there's that feeling that rises above my disappointment in myself. The feeling of not being with her, not protecting her wrenches my entire heart. The need to be with her is so strong I had to come and see her. Even if it means neglecting my job.

"How was work?" I say to cut the silence. I need to focus on her now. It was my choice to come and see her, so it's only right to come to my fucking senses and give her the attention she deserves.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about work." grace says teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.

I chuckle at her bold reply. She can be so feist and cheeky sometimes.

"Touché," I say sending her a small grin.

I park the car behind the restaurant To Dine For, a small but very exquisite restaurant. When I moved here and was driving around in the neighborhood, I saw a man dressed in black with a mask on running out of the restaurant with a bag back. I knew something was off so I jumped on him and took the bag of money back to the rightful owner who saw the event from a distance. They still see me as some kind of hero, but what did they know? I'm worse than that thief.

"Are you ready?" I say when we are standing still.

"This is one of the most expensive restaurants in town," Grace says uneasily. Fully well knowing she's making herself more uneasy by the minute about the lack of fancy clothes.

Without hesitation and to give her a better feeling about herself, I lean forward and brush my hand against her warm cheek. "You look beautiful. Even if you were wearing a sac, I would be honored to take you out to dinner."

I don't give her a choice and jump out of the car, feeling an adrenaline rush from the touch of her warm, soft face. What I would do to even get the opportunity to touch her magnificent face.