Where It All Started (SOW #1)

11.

"What do you want to do for today?" I asked V who's sitting in front of me. Tapos na kami parehong kumain pero nanatili pa siya dito. I'm also done washing the plates at ito ako ngayon, kaharap siya.

He pursed his lips and shook his head. My eyes softened when I stared at him. Hindi ko man alam kung anong nararamdaman niya ngayon, I know, it's hard. It's hard living when you know that you could only see nothing but darkness every day.

But, he's strong. Mag-breakdown man siya, para sa akin, matapang pa din siya. He wouldn't be here in front of me if he isn't.

"V, may gusto ka bang gawin?" Tanong ko muli pero nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin at ngumiti.

"Can you accompany me to the garden?" He asked kaya walang pagdadalawang isip akong tumayo at pumunta sa side niya. His arm wrapped around my shoulder and my arm wrapped around his waist. I sighed and guides him towards the garden.

Napangiti ako nang masalubong ng sinag ng araw ang mukha ko.

As I feel how the air embraces me, I realized something. Like the air, I should also embrace my whole being. I should accept myself again. I need to show people my scar. The scar that indicates that I survived a tragic accident. Isa pa, wala namang masyadong makakakita sa akin dito. No one can judge me here.

"Ahh, fresh air," he said at nang lingunin ko, nakatingala siya at nakapikit. Ang buhok niya ay hinahangin kaya mas na-eexpose ang mukha niya. His face is flawless, wala man lang pimples or acnes. His pointed nose, his perfect shaved eyebrows, his sharp jawline and his strawberry lips. Victorious is a handsome man, pareho sila ng Kuya niya. It's just, Victorious' features is more manly and sharp than Kuya Jin. Kuya Jin looks like a soft guy, a caring one.

"Can you tell me what the surrounding looks like?" He said, making me snap out of my thoughts. Napakurap ako at napatingin sa kanya na nakasandal at nakatingala.

"Anong itsura ng paligid ngayon? Is it bright? Is there butterflies flying around? Is there kids running on the streets?" He asked in a soft tone. Pakiramdam ko ay bumigat ang pakiramdam ko but I shrugged it off. I look around and observe everything.

"Namumukadkad yung roses sa right side ng garden..." panimula ko saka inilibot pa ang paningin ko. "The sun is shining bright. May mga dumadaang tao, either tindera or mga riders. There are also butterflies near us." I continue describing everything to him until I heard him sighed heavily.

"What a beautiful world..." he whispered and smile sadly. "But, sadly... hindi ko makita." Natahimik kami pareho.

Mula pagdating ko dito kahapon, the vulnerable V is the first one I saw. I saw how he broke down yesterday, how he cried, how he told me that he misses his old self with sadness in his eyes. Nakita ko ang malungkot na side niya, 'yung broken, 'yung mahina and it hurts seeing someone looking cold breaking down inside. You would know that the coldness that person is showing is clearly a façade to hide the loneliness.

I look at V and remember Tita Tania's words.

"May mabigat na pinagdadaanan ang anak ko kaya sana naman, may konsiderasyon sila pero wala eh, sumusuko agad."

Imagine what it feels like when people give up on you. When people don't want to understand you. When they back down instantly without knowing the real story.

"When was the last time you smile?" The words suddenly came out of my mouth. Natigilan siya at napalingon sa kabilang side. Agad kong hinawakan ang pisngi niya at iniharap sa akin. "I'm here on your right side," sabi ko.

Binitawan ko kaagad si V at hinintay ang sagot niya. He licks his lower lip before he speaks.

"The last time I smiled? I don't actually remember," sambit niya at bumuntong hininga. "Maybe, 'yung panahon na nakakakita pa ako? 'Yung nakakapag-painting pa ako? And maybe, nung panahon na hindi ko pa alam ang ginagawa niya..." he bites his lip at bigla siyang tumigil sa pagsasalita. I don't know kung totoo pero nakita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa expression niya. He just shook his head at nawala ang emosyon nya. His face became blank.

"Ikaw? When was the last time you feel the real happiness?" He asked me back.

Napasandal ako sa sandalan at tumingala. I smile seeing the clouds. Louie loves clouds. Kapag naglalakad kami minsan, he'll try to point out a shape from the clouds. Our father also loves the sky, the clouds, the moon, the sun, everything. Maybe, doon namana ni Louie iyon.

"Siguro 'yung panahon na... buhay pa sila Mama at Papa. We always go out para kumain. Palagi kaming namamasyal. Alam mo ba? Si Louie, nahihiya pang magpabili ng laruan na gusto niya noon..." I laugh but suddenly, tears fell out my eyes. Hinayaan ko lang iyon. Hindi naman niya nakikita.

"Ever since they died, naiwan kami ni Louie and gladly, Aunt Jean sheltered us. Pinatira niya kami ng kapatid ko. Pinag-aral, pinakain at inalagaan. I'm the happiest when I'm with my family," sabi ko at ngumiti.

"Itakwil ka na ng lahat, pamilya mo pa din ang tatanggap sayo," sabi niya kaya napatango tango ako at inaya na siya papasok sa loob.

He went to his room kaya naglinis na lang ako ng bahay. I sweep the floor and clean the first floor. Inabala ko ang sarili ko sa paglilinis hanggang sa mag-lunch na. I cooked lunch for V and I. Kuya Jin told me that V loves sinigang kaya iyon ang niluto ko para sa tanghalian. Nagsaing na din ako at nang matapos ay umakyat na ako para tawagin si Victorious.

I was almost in front of his room when I heard music playing. It's like a classical instrumental. An instrumental suitable for a slow dance. Dahan dahan kong itinulak ang pintuan and I froze when I saw him standing in the middle of his room. His hands are in the air, looking like dancing with somebody while his body is swaying, left to right.

I just stared at him, looking ethereal. I suddenly realized what song is currently playing.

Beauty And The Beast.

Natawa ako nang may maisip. In this room, standing two people, a perfect description of the song. How ironic.

He's the beauty and I'm the beast.