Indie and Sawyer's Lockdown Blues

Goodbye

INDIE

10th December

I sat at the table, doing my work as Tara waves goodbye to me.

"You should go home for the break Indie." She says but I shake my head knowing that I'd never do that.

"Sorry, I can't help it. I'm nosey. Forgive me." She says and I smile at her. I'd miss her for these four weeks.

We got five weeks of Christmas break as long as we proved we did a couple hours of revision to our teachers and that was only if they required it.

Sawyer and I would be the only ones in the dorm, Ray and Hallë had already left for home in the past week and Tara and John were both going to go to the airport together and then would go their separate ways there.

I was not excited to be holed up with Sawyer but he went out all the time anyways and now that it was the festive season, I was positive this time wouldn't be any different.

Sawyer and I had a past, one that made us the two hostile people in the dorm and I was content with not being near him and vice versa.

I look at the clock to see the time and see that Sawyer is coming back soon and get my stuff and go back to my room.

I REALLY didn't like him.

So much that I knew his patterns. I know he didn't know I was staying this holiday because I always went somewhere each time around and he was left alone to hold wild parties but I could handle that, God knows my siblings threw enough of those.

Anthony, Georgia, Kameron and I were not close despite us being quadruplets. Me and my other siblings were troubled with one another but me and Tyler got along.

In terms of me and my twins, I'd say the more accurate description was that I was not close to them, they were three peas in a pod and I was just the odd one out.

The fourth musketeer.

I'd gotten used to it.

When I hear Sawyer come through the front door I get away from my bed and lock the door.

I didn't want to see him right now, or ever to be honest.

I lie down on bed and although it was still early I fall asleep.

I wake up to the loud blare of the emergency news notification coming through my phone.

I get up immediately and brush through my hair and tie it into a ponytail as I roll of my bed and unlock my to watch the TV.

I sit down and watch the news and I get more and more horrified when I watch it that I don't even get annoyed when Sawyer sits down on the other end of the sofa.

I watch as the news flashes by 'Lockdown starting soon.' The the rules flash by and I sit there in shock and when they finish I sigh in exasperation.

"Looks like you're stuck with me Ana." Sawyer says as he smirks at me and I remember that I'm stuck with him.

I get up and go to my room, not wanting to tolerate him as I slam my door.

Hot tears of rage fill my eyes and I wonder why I couldn't just be invited home just once.

It's not that I didn't want to go home at the holidays, I simply couldn't because I wasn't invited. So I had spent every holiday at some dodgy motel that cost $50 for two weeks of stay and would stay there until two roommates came home.

I grab the nearest book and hurtle it at the wall and before I know, all my stuff is scattered everywhere and when I look in the mirror, I hate what I see.

I can't even bare to look at myself and punch the mirror and it shatters.

I sob silently into my hands as I get into my bed and lay there, my bloody hand throbbing as I lay there.

I lay there for a while when Sawyer knocks on my door.

"No." I say and he continues to knock. "Do you not know what no means?"

"Can I come in?" He asks.

"For the millionth time, no." I say but he opens the door anyways and I wipe my tears well and sit up.

He double takes before walking completely in.

"I love what you've done with the place." He says sarcastically.

"Well you shouldn't be in the place in the first place Sawyer, get out." I say as I get up and usher him out from my room but he doesn't.

"Can we be friends for this lockdown? Please? We don't even need to be friends afterw-" I stop him. I can't do this.

"Jesus Christ Sawyer, shut up. Just shut up. I don't want to be friends with you. You know this, stop, please just stop." I say as I get up from the couch.

"Alright then, you could've just said no." He says and now I feel like the bad guy.

That's Sawyer for you.

"I don't care Sawyer." I say as I start to push him out but my bloody hand meets his chest. I forgot about it.

"Ana, you're bleeding." He says as he holds my hand with concern etched on his face.

I push him out.

"My name is Indie, Sawyer." I say as I slam the door shut and wait for him to go.

I wait for him to go to sleep before I exit and sneak to get the first aid kit and then to the bathroom.

I pluck the glass out of my hands but struggle to do some of the pieces. I manage in the end but it hurts.

I throw the glass in the bin and clean and wrap my hand.

I go to my room and clean up the glass from the mirror before I get into bed in my mess.

This was my life.

The rage, the sadness, the blankness.