Indie and Sawyer's Lockdown Blues

Day 5 continued

INDIE

I picked the skin on my lip as I waited for Sawyer's X-Ray.

I knew it was gonna be broken but I was more worried about how he was going to be able to function. 

He's always on the move, how would he function without the thing that keeps him motivated.

I pull some skin a little too far and I feel blood on my lips. Oh well. I keep pulling.

When he finally gets wheeler back and I relax just a little.

"Ana, what the fuck happened to your lips?" He asks and I scowl.

"Don't call me that." I say as I put my mask back on and her out when I feel my mask, moist.

Blood.

Good God. I was anxious... over Sawyer.

"Sit the fuck down." He says as he gets up and gets some crutches from the back and gets up and gets some tissues and wets them.

He sits me down where I'm rooted to the spot and pulls down my mask and cleans my lip for me.

It doesn't hurt. What does hurt is Sawyer being so close to me after all this time.

Once he's done, I get up and push past him.

I couldn't do this again.

I open the door and gesture him out where he leaves and then I leave.

I help him with the doors and we go down to the car where he gets in the back and I get in the front. Davey was driving as I had been drinking.

"Thanks D." Sawyer says and Davey smiles at him.

"A break?" He asks.

"Yeah. To be expected." Sawyer says.

I could tell he was upset.

We get back quickly and Davey goes to his dorm and I help Sawyer back again.

I leave him alone once we get inside and I go to the bathroom and shower.

I sit down as I let the water put down all over me.

I feel the hot tears roll against my cheek and I wipe them away as I try not to think about Sawyer.

He hurt me more than I could ever imagine.

He was meant to be a friend.

He didn't do much, really, apart from saying some words about me behind my back but words meant everything to me and I truly thought he was the only one there for me. 

I guess I was wrong.

I feel that little pit of sadness in my chest again but this time I want to ignore it.

I have to.

I fail miserably as I rest my back against the tub and cry silently.

I was hurt that Sawyer thought he could just look after me.

He knew that I hated that, no matter how far apart we were nowadays.

I was mostly hurt because of how it reminded me of how we used to be. Good friends. I can't believe we were even friends in the first place.

I get up and dry off my body as I put on my fresh clothes.

I couldn't be bothered to dry my hair.

I unlock both the doors and go to my room to put my stuff in the laundry before going back to the living room.

I sit on the one seater and just stare at the wall.

Staring at the wall certainly didn't even do anything it just helped me pass the time.

As I started staring at the wall, it changed in front of me and I was seeing his face everywhere and then my siblings.

This was like my own personal hell.

I rubbed my eyes and I see Sawyer's door open and he hobbles out and I ignore him.

Now wasn't the time to see him.

I get up and go back to my room.

"Ana." He says. I ignore him again. "Ana." He's annoying me now, he knows how much I hate being called Ana now.

"Please leave me alone." I say as I shut my door and lean back against it as I sit on the floor.

Why did he have to get so close to me. Does he not know of boundaries.

He knows how much I hate people being close to me, no one could ever forget that about me.

He was the last person who I let be close to me.

I hadn't hugged anyone in years. Not even Francis but he understood why.

I get up and go to my bed where I lay down.

Sawyer knocks and I ignore him.

"Please Ana." He says and I turn around to make myself clear that I'm ignoring him. "Come on, I need some help to get into bed.

I get up and open the door where he stands.

I help him to his room and onto his bed where I lift his leg up and help him get comfortable.

I do what I know. I put the three pillows on top of one another and then one against the headboard and then help him rest his head.

I get his duvet and put it over him as he starts to fall asleep.

I leave and close the door but trip over something.

It's his crutch.

"Oh for fucks sake." I say as I hood my nose which is bleeding.

I guess I did hit my face pretty hard.

I get up as I go to the bathroom from his room but I start to feel faint and fall to the floor again but this time it's loud enough to alert Sawyer.

"Ana. What are you doing?" He says as he turns on his bedside lamp. "Holy shit."

"I'm fine." I say from the ground as I try to get up but almost faint again.

He gets off his bed and helps me up and jumps when he sees what's probably the murder scene on my face.

He hobbled over to the bathroom and I stumble around a bit.

I get to the bathroom and wash my face and Sawyer hands me a tissue to dry my face and stop the bleeding.

It bleeds for a little longer before I throw it in the bin as he's sitting on the toilet.

"Oh good God." I say as I sit down and lean against the toilet seat.

My head was pounding like crazy.

I fall asleep, rather quickly, on something soft which was unlikely for a bathroom.

***

It was Sawyer I had fallen asleep on.

It was now 2pm and he was still fast asleep.

I wake him up slightly and help him over to his bed where, even though now asleep again, has a strong grip on me and basically pulls me on his bed.

"Sawyer, let go of me." I say.

"No." He says back to me.

"Why not?" I ask.

"You've been bleeding a lot. I had to sort that out while you were asleep but then I realised you'd probably fainted again." I probably did but I couldn't sleep when it was light outside.

I think he made a lucky guess because his automatic blinds shut on their own.

"How much was I bleeding?" I ask.

"A lot." He says and I soon fall asleep again. We slept for ages, separately on different sides of the bed.