Indie and Sawyer's Lockdown Blues

Day 15

INDIE 26/12

I go back to my car and drive it for hours to make it to Ottawa.

Why was I even here?

I drive past my parents house and go to the door a door down.

It's Sawyer's house.

I knock on the door and Tyler answers eventually.

"Indie?" He says.

"Please can I ask George if it's okay to stay here for a day or two. Please don't tell Sawyer I'm here, I don't know where to go." I ask.

"Indiana, of course you can stay here." George says from behind him as he hugs me.

Yes they were definitely a hugging family.

Sawyer is the first person that hugs me in years and then his dad hugs me in the same 2 days.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot you weren't a hugger." He says as he quickly pulls away from the hug.

"It's okay George. Your son sort of broke that chain 2 days ago when he did in fact hug me. I'm so sorry for waking you guys up I just wasn't thinking and I came back here and obviously I can't go next door." I say as I close my eyes and shake my head to get rid of the thoughts.

"You definitely didn't wake us up. We were watching movies, I know you're an early bird so you can sleep in Sawyer's room. You know where it is?" He asks but he panics when he hears that.

"Don't worry. I do." I say as I get my stuff and take it to his room.

I take a deep breath before I open the door and look in.

Everywhere I look is just me, me and more me.

Not literally. It's just that most of these things were done by me.

The large S on his wall, done by me. The loft, done by me. All his decorating done by me.

I go up the stairs to the loft and go through the little trapdoor onto my side.

Our houses were connected.

There was a little room connecting us both.

It has photos of us that he clearly hadn't taken down.

I take a moment before opening the trapdoor to my side and seeing my side of the loft and my room.

I go down the stairs and look at all my stuff.

Everything was the same.

I look at everything, it was all how I left it.

I open the wardrobe and the prom dress I never got to wore is still there.

I open the desk and my notes from all my classes are still there and they were even organised.

Someone had been in here but why would I even care about that.

Maybe it was mom. I hope it was mom.

It wouldn't be her.

I open the other draw and see what made my stomach churn.

My diary.

There was nothing bad in it because I had been writing fake entries.

It said that it was a fictional diary as well so people wouldn't be too annoyed when they read it and realised it was utter bullshit.

It's more what was actually on the book that made me upset.

I can see all the ink faded from all the tears I shed over the diary. Whenever I was feeling sad, which was always, I'd write a fake entry of what I wanted my life to be like.