The Secret Life|| Sugawara x Female!Singer!Reader

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Readers Guide:
Italics=Flashback
F/F= Favorite Flower

Sugawara's P.O.V.

I sigh as I get my stuff into my bag and walk out of class. Lately, I've been feeling off. Something just doesn't feel right with me. I brush off the feeling and not think much of it. I walk towards my home and put some headphones on. I listen to that song she made for me. I don't know why but it's just so nice. It makes me feel better but only for those minutes I'm listening to the song. I open the door to the house and I drop my bag on to the floor.

"I'm home." I say. I know nobody is going to answer me even though something is telling me that maybe one day she'll come back.

I opened up my laptop and begin doing my homework. I couldn't concentrate so I ended up just leaving my home and walking around.

"Sugawara?" I hear and I turn to see Asahi.

"Oh, Asahi! Hey how are you doing?" I say.

"I'm doing good. How are you? How's school going?" He asks as we walk down the street.

"Man it's kicking me in the ass. But I like it nonetheless. I'm just trying to get to my goal you know. How's your fashion line going?"

"It's good! Making designs and all for anything. I'm coming up with a clothing line that's very bright and vibrant."

"Oh, what are you going to call it?"

"I'm naming it after the person I love most."

"You're naming it Nishinoya?" I say raising an eyebrow. We walked into a small coffee shop and ordered. We sat down after getting our drinks and he smiled.

"Close, just calling it Noya for short. If anyone were to ask, Nishinoya would technically be the full name but Noya is the short version for it." He explain and I nodded.

"Does he know?"

"No. At least I don't think so. I'm trying to surprise him on our anniversary you know. We've been together for a couple years now."

"Wow, time sure does fly by. I mean Y/N and I have been together for three years now." I say with a smile and Asahi gives me a sad smile.

"Suga, you guys broke up remember?"

"No we didn't, what are you..." I trailed off but then everything came flooding back to me. The fight. Her tears. The way she held her stomach. My words. The slap she gave me. "Oh wait, yeah we did. I forgot." I looked down and sighed.

"Suga, we all know you miss her. We know she still misses you. It's just, what you did was an awful move." Asahi explains and I nod.

"I know, and I regret the way I worded it to her. I didn't mean it to come out as choosing between me or the baby. I meant it as if I was saying that I don't think either of us were ready to be parents. Think about it, I'm at school, she's touring the world. When would we have time for the baby?"

"I understand but, she's a great mother and you'd be a great father."

"I don't know." I pull out my phone and open up twitter. "Anyway though, how is Nishinoya?"

"He's living the dream. He's traveling the world right now and fishing as well. He's coming back in a few days so I'm excited to see him again."

"Seems like you've got everything..." I start but trail off as I see a picture on my phone.

"Suga? What is it?" Asahi asks and comes to my side. He stares at the picture as well. It was Y/N and our son. They're in Agrentina with Oikawa. She took a selfie with Oikawa holding my son and they were smiling as if they were having the best time of their lives. She always hated him so seeing this makes me upset and the caption doesn't help much. "Meeting the uncle in Argentina for the first time."

"I thought she hated him." I say

"Well, maybe since she's best friends with Iwaizumi-san, she thought it would be a good idea to get along with him. It's also the past so she probably just decided to forget what he did and try to be on good terms for Iwaizumi-san."

"I guess but goes as far as say he's an uncle to my son. I don't like that."

"Suga, as of right now, you don't have a say in this. You aren't even a part of that baby's life. If she wants Oikawa-san to be an uncle for her son, then so be it."

"I guess so." We drank our coffee in peace and eventually I went home. As soon as I walked in, I was surrounded by silence. I regret what I did. Y/N is everything to me. Why did I say those words to her? I'm such an idiot. I walked up to my room and sat on the bed. I did my homework and as soon as I finished I took a shower.

After I stepped out, I changed into some sweat pants and a t-shirt. I laid on my bed and just stayed in my thoughts. All I could think about was her. On one of the days I had been at school, all her stuff was gone as soon as I came back. She really isn't going to come back and it's all because of those words I said to her.

"I'm not ready to be a father. Just get rid of it and we won't have to break up." I said and all of a sudden, my cheek is stinging and I'm looking the other way. She smacked me. And I deserved it.

The echo of that smack is ringing through my head like a tune anyone would get in their head of their favorite song. Except this isn't a sound I want to hear, it's a sound I want to get rid of and replace. My fingers run across the cheek she had hit me on and I sighed. I turned to my side and looked at the closet as another memory had struck me.

"Come on Suga! Let's go out before I leave! I'm gonna miss you." Y/N said and I smiled. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close giving her a small kiss.

"Alright but only for a bit. It's already late enough as is. How about we go take a trip to the ice cream shop?"

"Really?!"

"Of course. Anything for you Sugar." I say and slip on my jacket. She grabs one of my sweaters and grabbed my hand pulling me out of the room.

"Come on let's go!" She shouts as she's dragging me.

"Sugar calm down!"

I hadn't realized but tears were streaming down my face. As if I wanted to hurt myself more, I picked up my phone and opened her twitter account. She just recently tweeted another picture. It was her and our son with Oikawa. The guys don't even tell me his name because Y/N doesn't want me to know I guess. They were backstage and she was with Oikawa again. This time, he was holding Y/N's hands and had my son strapped to his chest with those baby holders. He looked fast asleep and it was so cute. The caption read, "Hyping me up! Let's get this concert started Argentina!"

I scrolled more and more through her tweets until I came upon the ones where it was her and I. Before she left, before our fight, before she was pregnant. It was our three year anniversary photos to make matters worse. The first one was the big bouquet of f/f I had gotten her. The second photo was us kissing with blushes on your cheeks. We had dated for three years and yet we still blush with kisses and all.

The last photo is what hurt the most. We were slow dancing in the dark but there was a light shining behind us. It made us look like silhouettes in a the light. She had her forehead against mine as I leaned down to her. Arms around her waist and hers were around my neck. It was the perfect photo. Tears kept falling down my face and I wiped them away. I turned my phone off and put it to charge.

"To think I'd end up losing you like this. I missed holding you. I miss hugging you. I miss your voice. I miss dancing to random songs with you. People always told us we were too young and too dumb to know things like love. All I see is the ghost of you dancing through what used to be our home. Now, my feet don't dance like they did with you." I spoke softly as I quoted the song she always sang. I think it was a new one she was writing but I won't ever know. The song I told her that we would not become because we would always be together. I let the tears fall and fall. I hugged the pillow that used to be hers and sobbed into it. Without realizing, I had fallen asleep from all my crying.

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Sugawara's Sugar❤️