HEARTBURST,, The Next Step

[3.18] lost

❝It's like everything I've been waiting to say is spilling out at once❞

‧₊˚✩

Maxie spoke to no-one that night. Her roommates, Michelle and Giselle, put it down to nerves, with a mix of excitement, for the competition ahead, and let her do what she needed to do. 

Before heading up to put her head straight to her pillow, Max briefly told Kate she wasn't feeling that good and suggested she go with Giselle to register the team the next morning as she'd need a lie in ahead of the competition to really pull herself together.

Knowing nothing of what was swirling around the girl's head, the woman happily agreed.

Early the next morning, before the sun rose, Maxie silently pulled herself out of bed, got her exercise clothes on and went on a run in the morning haze, while it was still dark, yet also light outside.

She'd never been the type of girl to go on a run. Normally, when things got too overwhelming, she would just dance, like many of her friends. But this time was different; she knew that dancing would make her think too much about the competition, and her dad, and she'd just conform to some nervous breakdown.

Whereas running, a habit she'd picked up in the past few months to help relieve the stress of Dance Captain, felt different. Instead of channelling her feelings through music, like she did in dance, she would push everything she was feeling to the side, keeping her head clear as her  priority remained on her breathing and taking the next step. 

When she ran that morning, not once did she think about Daisy or Mason, or the man they claimed was her father.

Eventually, she finished her run along the edge of a cliff that looked out over the sea, and took a seat, feeling at peace as the sun slowly rose over the horizon. There was something so comforting about a quiet sunrise the morning after a loud sunset.

"Maxie?" A strange, yet familiar, voice pulled her from her thoughts, snatching the tranquil moment from her.

She didn't need, or want, to turn around. Instead, she continued to walk along the edge of the cliff towards the nearest bench, knowing full well the mystery voice would follow her.

His shadow loomed over the teenage girl, hesitant to sit beside her, however, it was clear what he wanted to say was urgent.

"Tara suggested you'd be here," He began, and, for the first time in six years, Maxie turned to look her father in his eyes. His eyes, the same colour green that they were the last time she saw them, just with a few additional wrinkles of age.

It took everything in her not to let the suffocating sense of sadness rush over her as she fought back tears: her own father was stood before her and she couldn't tell whether she wanted to slap him so hard he fell off the edge, or hug him and never let go.

So, instead, she did neither. 

"I'm sorry," The two words Maxie had wanted to hear from him for years, and yet, it didn't feel half as freeing as she thought it would. "For leaving you so suddenly."

He took her blank response as an invitation to sit down. Although he'd left a large space between them on the bench, in Maxie's eyes, he wasn't far enough.

Minutes passed like hours between them as they sat in silence. Maxie watched the waves crash over the rising sun, whilst her dad watched her. It was a surreal feeling that she still hadn't yet come to terms with.