(27/10/2021)day 14:
I thought you haven't been coming to school.
Maybe I just wasn't meant to see you.
+
I'm sorry I couldn't take my eyes off of you.
I could look at you all day and maybe I'd be ashamed, but I'm not sure.
I really want to talk to you, but how.
I'm going to be alone in my house and get drunk for sure, maybe then I'll finally have the courage to pick up my phone and just text you.
+
Could it even be possible for you to be interested in me?
I doubt it more every time I look at myself and every time I see you.
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I wanted to wait for you, but I'm so scared of your rejection.
I'm not scared of all rejection, just yours.
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I feel like we're running around each other, but the question is, do you feel the same?
Is this all just in my head?
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You looked at me.
We held eye contact for longer than ever before.
It was electrifying.
Do you feel the same?
I'm blinded by you.
Am I just naïve?
+
I texted you.
Fuck, I'm so stupid and scared. I don't even want to see what you said.
"wanna be friends? yes or no"
I'm really hoping it's a yes, if it's a no I might cry but it's okay either way.
I really want a yes.
If I'm feeling this many things when you're involved does that mean I actually care? I think it does.
I'm going to throw up.
I'm so nervous, this is impossible.
+
you were so excited you didn't even spell it right, "OD COURSW" it's so adorable.
I'm blushing and screaming and laughing and smiling.
"ur so cool bestie" is what you said, I might actually be in love.
You called me cool and I called you a god, because you truly are one, to me at least.
My heart is pounding with an excited violence.
