(20/11/2021)day 38:
I kind of like texting you to be the first thing I do in the morning.
My voice sounds absolutely awful - it's the cigarettes, but just doing anything that involves you first thing in the morning is nice.
I hope one day I can wake up to your face.
Wake up only to see you.
See your closed eyes and the frown on your lips first thing in the morning.
Hear your rumbling and breaking voice first thing in the morning.
Feel you smile against me when you wake up to see me first thing in the morning.
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You texted me the first thing in the morning, well it's almost 2pm, but you texted me right after you woke up.
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You, too, think I have masculine energy. [my best friend said so and you agree with her]
I'm going to work harder, abuse my body, destroy my muscles until I fit your standards.
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'If you love him, tell him.'
I'll tell you soon.
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"But fr, you do have masculine energy and it's hot af."
Now you've done it.
You aren't getting rid of me.
You're mine.
You don't know it yet, but you're mine.
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I basically told you to stop complimenting me and you said you won't.
Maybe you're just getting back at me for not stopping to compliment you, but I'm really hoping you genuinely believe the things you say to me and think that I deserve to be complimented.
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You're so adorable.
At this rate I'm never going to hit rock bottom even though I'm still falling, hard.
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Please.
Please.
Like girls too.
Like girls with a little bit of masculine energy.
Like me.
Please.
Please.
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You're not just pretty and kind, you're also extremely hot.
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Falling and love have only two meanings when put together:
Falling in love.
Falling out of love.
As for myself, I am now sure that I have definitely, most certainly, absolutely fallen in love with you.