(31/10/2021)day 18:
I still haven't gotten used to you texting me, I don't know if I even want to get used to it. Even though things like these are unavoidable I don't seem to mind.
You don't need to burn me every time we interact, you just need to be.
+
You always refer to him as 'my crush'
You're always so cute when you talk about him.
I genuinely wish it'd work out for you two, it'd be so sweet.
Maybe even too sweet.
I'm not even sad that you can never like me back, I'm just extremely happy that you're happy.
+
Now that I know you're happy with someone else and don't suspect me of liking you even the tiniest bit, I feel like it's starting to fade - the romantic affection I thought I felt for you, now I'm not entirely sure whether it was even there to begin with.
But that's only good because I can never have you.
+
I hope you never see this, you'll hate me and think I'm weird in the worst way. I don't want that, I want you to like me, it doesn't matter how just like me please.
Oh god, it was so weird for me to like you in the first place.
+
I just embarrassed myself quite a bit but your name is Matthew and your birthday is on the 20th of May.
+
I think you're fully gay and not bisexual, it's alright.
+
I'm laughing so much while talking to you, it's making me feel dizzy.
I'm slowly telling you the secrets I never wanted you to know. I'll never tell you the secret of my feelings, not anytime soon anyway, but the small innocent ones I can bear.
