Thought Of You~ Tronnor

I'm A Mess ~3

"Yo! 'Sup T-Dawg!" I sarcastically yell as me and Korey approach where Tyler is standing.
"Don't you call me that, Siv-ster." He sasses, flicking his imaginary long hair off of his shoulder.

"Remind me why I'm friends with you two?" Korey fake-sighs.

"Because thou hast thee banter." Tyler speaks, trying but failing miserably at doing an English accent, causing us all to explode into a fit of giggles. A few students around us gave us the glare of death and looked at us like we're freaks.

I ignore them. I'm used to it.

After that rather odd encounter, the whole way to school I don't say a word. My mind was too clogged with a weird, unpleasant mixture of excitement and fear. All I could think of was all the things that could happen. Weighing out the pros and cons. Deciding not to dwell on my feelings for too long, I distract myself by trying to join Korey and Tyler's conversation again.

"Yeah but it WON'T work, I know it." Tyler snaps.
"Well you won't know until you try. Look Ty, I'm only trying to help, I know how much this crush is affecting you, and I don't like it. You either need to go for it, or get over it, in the most polite way possible." Korey huffs in response.

"I agree." I admit, trying not to sound like I was butting in or anything.

"Oh look who decided to join our conversation again, what happened? You were completely zoned out for ages!" Korey laughs.

"Yeah, it was kinda freaky." Tyler adds.

"I was just thinking... I guess." I answer, not really knowing how to explain what had happened without sounding insane. "Anyway, me and Ty have History together first, shall we head there now?"

"Sure, we'll talk to you at break Kor!"

"Bye bye, enjoy an hour of hell!"

We walk to class and arrive just as the bell rings. I internally celebrate whilst sitting down next to Tyler because I narrowly missed out on being crushed by the massive group of idiotic teenagers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trying not to fall to sleep, I start to doodle on my scrap paper. I'm sure Tyler will explain it if it's anything important.

Tyler.

I've been thinking about Tyler a lot lately. Not in a creepy way though.

I don't know whether I should tell him about Connor or not. He deserves to know. After all, he is one of my best friends. But then again, will he react badly? I know for a fact that he avidly hates the O2L group. If he does react badly, what will I do? Explain my view on Connor? Just let him hate me?

Why would he hate me?

He might think I'm like them. He might think I support what they do. He'll think I'm a freak. A bully. A homophobe.

I'm... I'm not a freak... Am I?

God, I am a freak. Why would I like someone who beats people up for entertainment.

I'm so vein to think he'd ever like me back.

I'm such a horrible person, why would anyone even bother with me.

By this point I'm breathing funny and I can feel my head pounding. I stand up and leg it to the door. As I run away from the classroom I can hear people talking about me inside, but I'm too consumed in my thoughts to give a damn about them and their gossip sessions that they're probably having right now.

Stumbling, I run to the toilets and lock myself in the closest cubicle.

"I'm horrible. Why am I even here?" I whisper to myself in disgust before throwing up into the toilet and collapsing into fits of tears on the floor.