Thought Of You~ Tronnor

Autumn Leaves ~6

Today. No. It can't be!

09:02.

Today! OH gOD. AHHH!!

In less than 2 hours (1 hour, 57 minutes and 34 seconds, to be precise. I totally did not set a countdown... C'mon I'm not that weird... Haha...) I will be face to face with Connor Franta.

The same Connor that I have spent such a long time dreaming up crazy and unrealistic thoughts about talking to. The same Connor who said I am the most beautiful person he knows, when I've thought the same for years on end about him. The same Connor who I feel an aching desire to meet, to finally understand the real him.

This cannot be happening. Not to me. How in hell do I deserve to have him talk to me? I'm just like any old gay kid who has a crush on a straight boy. Yet, he appreciated what I did enough to think I have a beautiful personality and to want to meet me.

Oh. My. God.

Smiling like an idiot, I practically launch myself to the nearest bathroom to shower and get ready. Yes, I am up at 9am and yes, I am freaking out about Connor (maybe also partially about why on earth that I am up at this ungodly hour).

I step under the soothing cool water and my thoughts slow down slightly, allowing me to think straight. Well not straight considering I'm breaking down and obsessing over Connor... The only person I have ever had a crush on. Yes, I am 17 and I had never had a crush before I saw Connor when I was 14.

3 years. That's how long I've known Connor, and how long I've liked him. I wonder how long Connor has known me, or if he knows me at all. By me I mean Troye Sivan Mellet, not just the anonymous person who texts him an awful lot. I wonder whether he's ever really noticed me. I've caught his eye a few times, but not for long. Trying to push Connor out of my mind, I think about the morning ahead.

Do I get there early and wait for Connor or do I get there a bit later than him? What do I wear? Do I leave my hair down? Yikes, shall I text him when I'm out of the shower or wait for a bit? What do I say? Okay I need to make my mind up soon.

Firstly, I think it'd be better if I got there early so I can have a chance to clear my head ahead of time. Knowing me, I'd have another panic attack if I got there late and he had gone; I would be so disappointed and angry at myself. I'll go at 10:45, that'll be long enough to calm myself down before he arrives.

As for clothes... I think- Oh! I'll wear some jeans and a sweater as it's fall and quite cold outside today. My denim jeans and bright 'ALL THE COLOURS IN THE WORLD' sweater would look okay, I hope. I make a mental note of that so I don't forget within the next few minutes. (The outfit is in the picture at the top)

I almost forgot! Hair. I'll leave it down. Why not? I have plenty of sea salt spray in my room so it won't just be a big poofy mess. My quiff game's been a bit off recently and quite truthfully I just can't be bothered with it at the moment.

Lastly, I might as well text him soon. If he's not awake I'm sure he'll respond when he is. It's only 9:15 now. A good morning message would be nice for him to wake up to, I decide. Simple yet thoughtful. Am I thinking too much about this? It's only a text, for goodness sake Troye.

After rinsing my hair, I turn off the shower and dry myself before going and getting the clothes I had decided on earlier.

Once I'm dressed, I spend a good 10 minutes fixing my hair and using a vast amount of sea salt spray. Only just realising how long I had taken, I send a quick text to Connor as I go downstairs for something to eat. I feel like there's something I'm forgetting.