Fifty Shades After

Chapter 30: Shedding Light on the Darker Shades

It's been, how long? Maybe a week or so. I haven't touched the xbox, I haven't gone out to the meadow, and I haven't fully talked to anyone besides Phoebe. When I bump into Mom or Dad, I never look them in the eye, and reply with two or three monotone words. I can't keep doing this forever, but I'll do it until I can't anymore.

I have my headphones in maximum volume. My eyes are searching the ceiling of my room as the repetitive piano of Clocks echoes through my soiled brain. This feels good.

Nice and numb.

No thoughts, no worries, no nothing.

The song ends and I quickly change it to a new song, because silence means thinking. And thinking means gagging. And I'm tired of metaphorically throwing up.

The soothing and catchy string instruments of The Bittersweet Symphony coon into my eardrums and I exhale. Ah, The Verve.

I hear a faint knock and I groan, removing my headphones. "Yeah." I scrunch up my nose and mentally pray.

Please don't be mom or dad, please don't be mom or dad...

"Teddy, It's me. James is here." I hear Phoebe's voice and sigh in relief. I hop out of bed and press unlock on the knob of the door. Phoebe swings it open and hops onto my beanbag. "Hey, Ted." James waves at me and I back. He has his messenger bag with him, usually where he keeps his mobile consoles. His musical notes bowtie and elastic suspenders don't go unnoticed.

"Phoebe was telling me you've isolated yourself."
- "True."
- "And that you're not doing anything."
- "Uh huh."
- "You're just sitting in your room with music."
- "Yup." I place my headphones around my neck and lean back on the headboard. He can tell he feels uncomfortable at my very cooperative answers. James shuffles around awkwardly and finally sits on the corner of my bed. "So, uh, why?"

"Well, James. There comes a time when a boy," I point at myself with my thumb, "begins to grow up from their childhood to adulthood. This complex and confusing transition is what we call adolescence." I mark quotations with my fingers. James rolls his eyes, and Phoebe is actually paying close attention. "Alright, teach, lesson's over." He tosses a nearby pillow at me.

"We're not actually gonna' stay up here all day, are we? Let's go downstairs to the game room. I want to play Destiny!" James shakes my leg. "I'm not really in the mood, James." I pull my phone out of my pocket and shuffle through my music. I settle for The Bravery and double tap on the playlist.

"Aw, Ted! Come on! Phoebe, tell him!"
- "Teddy, Jamie is right. You can't just stay inside your room forever." I cannot believe he used Phoebe as a weapon against me. I release a thirteenth second unpleasant groan into my pillow then stand. "Fine." Phoebe and James high five. Traitors.

While I connect the console back to one of the flatscreens, Phoebe is beating James in foosball. "How come you get a point? I scored!"
- "You can't score into your own goalie!"

I finish and toss myself on the recliner. "Destiny?" I yell reaching the controller on the other chair. The last time Ava was here. I kind of miss her.

"Yeah!" James ditches Phoebe and dives into the chair next to me. We log into my user and I receive a notification right away. "Huh," I tilt my head.
I maneuver the left stick to the mail icon and press A.

I stiff. Oh no. Not again. My heart raises, and I'm worried that James can actually hear the thumping.

"Who's AMH430?" James squints removing his glasses. "No one. Some guy." I try to sound as casual as I possibly can. Do I click? Do I call Taylor? Shit! What do I do!