Fifty Shades After

Chapter 14: The Inner Goddess Returns

☆Ana☆
I take a welcoming sip from the cool lemonade. It's sweet and sour at the same time, provoking a sharp pain on my glands. My eyes swiftly sweep to him. He's regarding me, and I'm 21 again, blushing as he undresses me with just his deep gray eyes, filled with desire and want. I need to say something. Something to stop this uncomfortable, yet needing feeling pooling deep in my groin. How does he still do this to me after all these years?

"Penny for your thoughts." He mutters, his low voice vibrating through my body. I shrug. "Just a quick playback." My voice sounds confident. Good. I cannot believe I've managed to sound so confident this passed days. It's exhausting. But effective. He's been keeping distance. Which I'm relieved and at the same time- disappointed.

His neck almost suddenly twitches to the other direction, quickly turning to the sound of Phoebe singing a song from her favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast. I stifle a laugh. The irony is not lost in me. Although I do not exactly consider myself a beauty.

"She's just so perfect." He sighs quietly. "You're doing a fine job in raising your children, Anastasia."

- "Our children." I blurt it out before I'm able to stop myself. He turns to gaze at me, daring me to say it again, with just his smile. "Yes, our children." He says after I fail to cooperate. He takes a sip of his lemonade, not removing his eyes from mine, and as hard as I try, I can't take my eyes off of him either. If only Ted were here. He'd be the perfect distraction. He's managed to stay away from me as long as Ted's around. He's in awe of his son. My heart suddenly swells.

Gail returns, with the widest of smiles. Oh, how I've missed Gail. I remember her words the last time I was here. Could it have been that she only thought of Christian's sake? Forgetting mine? I can't blame her. No one knew what had happened. At least, not entirely.

"Would you like a refill, Ana?" She says kindly and I nod, returning the gesture. "Please." I push my half empty glass so that she pours some more. I take it, and drink some more. Oh, it's good.

Phoebe stands from the bench on the other side of the porch, and walks towards me. She turns her back to me and hops onto my lap. I giggle and hug her tightly, nuzzling her hair and she clutches onto my arms. "Do you still think I'm a quitter?"

- "Yes, you're a quitter." She says and I pout. "She's not a quitter." Christian leans in and places his elbows on the table. "She was just tired of it. But you're not tired anymore, right, Ana? You'll keep going if we try again, won't you?" He asks me, in the same sweet tone he was speaking to Phoebe.

I note his message right away. His eyes swim with hope and I chew on the inside of my lip, awaiting an answer from myself. Phoebe looks up to me, with expectant eyes. "Will you?" she says in a melancholic voice.

I'm suddenly stunned. Did she caught on to what Christian said?

"I..." I stutter, then shake my head from my thoughts. "Maybe later." I pretend that this is still about the tag game we recently partook in.

I turn when I see in the corner of my eye that Ted and Sophie are returning. Sophie is just undoubtedly gorgeous, and I can easily tell my Teddy remains smitten with her, just like he always was. I just know deep down I secretly wish nothing goes on between those two. That's quite an age difference. Hypocrite, my subconscious sneers at me. Oh, great. She's back. This is different! I elbow her away and pray the other one isn't resuscitated any time soon. It's definitely different. Ted is still underaged, afterall.

"Did you finish it this time?" I ask ironically and Ted purses his lips and crosses his arms. "Actually, yes, I did."

- "A first." Sophie says matter-of-factly. I automatically turn my head to Christian, but he's already gazing back at me. His eyes proceed to move towards Sophie, and her eyes meet his. It's almost like they're communicating telepathically. I idly wonder, how did Sophie overcame her fear of Christian?